English: derivative of File:Thumb1.png depicti...

Image via Wikipedia

If you are just catching up, and interested in threesomes (and who’s not interested in threesomes), this is Part 2 of a mini-series.  You can read Part 1 here. ……………………………………………………………………………………….

You’ve thought about it.  You are ready to sit down and really talk about it with your partner.  With your clothes on.  In the kitchen.  Over coffee.  At 2 o’clock in the afternoon (meaning not in bed, naked, at 2 AM after a fifth of Kettle One).  After all, you are having this threesome together.  You want to make sure it’s an experience to remember, to cherish, to recall for future fantasies.  You don’t want it to be the thing that puts a wall between you.  Or worse.  The thing that causes one of you to walk away.

And you, naive reader, may think I’m exagerating.  But I’m not.  Threesomes can wreck havoc on your LTR.  It can damage it in ways that can’t be mended… Now, I’m not trying to scare you.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  But I want you to know what you are getting into before it’s too late.  You need to understand the risks involved and plan accordingly.

Emotions

  • Jealousy.  No matter how ready we think we are to see our lover give or receive sexual acts to another, we don’t know how to respond until we are in the situation.  And what we imagine happens in a threesome, isn’t quite always how it plays out.  There will be times when it isn’t everyone touching everyone.  When there are two people fucking (sucking, licking, etc), while the other person touches, not necessarily a primary member of the action taking place.  Be prepared for that.  A good rule of thumb — make sure each of you is the center of attention at least once, that way every has a time where they can lay back and just feel…  I imagine this is a bigger problem with girls than with guys (especially in a FFM, what guy is going to be upset to sit back and watch two girls 69?  Not one that I know).  Guys, make sure you don’t get lost in the moment and leave your partner sitting out for long.  You don’t want to leave out your third either, but she’s not the one that sleeps in your bed every night…
  • Insecurity.  It will creep up on you.  You might think it’s fine to see your girl get slammed by another dude.  You’ve talked about it.  You’ve fantasized about it.  You’ve beaten off to it.  But then, there you are.  You’re watching.  She crawls across the bed towards him.  You can see the moisture glistening on her pussy lips.  She’s so wet.  She reaches him, pulls down his zipper.  Pulls out his cock.  “Oh my god” she says, “You’re cock is so huge.”  You glance around, trying to catch a peak of his cock as she wraps her lips around it, and you notice it is pretty big.  Huge, in fact.  And thick.  And hard.  You look down.  Damn.  The point being, watch what you say.  Things like big, huge, tight…  these words may make your partner even more insecure.  After all, if you are commenting that her pussy is so tight, your girl is going to be thinking, “If her pussy feels that tight, then she must be tighter than me.  If she’s tighter than me, will he enjoy her pussy more than mine?  And if he enjoys her more than me, …”  You get the picture.  Just be aware of your dirty talk and the insecurities they can cause.

Rules

  • What’s not allowed.  Talk about it.  (You can see that there is going to be a lot of talking
    Deutsch: High-Key-Aktfoto

    Image via Wikipedia

    before you actually end up in bed).  There could be no penetration.  No anal.  No kissing (!).  Whatever it is, talk about it and set clear boundaries.  And if you have things you don’t want your partner to do, please, please, please tell them.  I know that there are some of out there, not wanting your man to fuck cute blonde from the bar.  But you don’t want to say it, because you don’t want to ruin it.  Believe me, NOT saying it will do a lot more damage than saying it.  Trust me.

  • Check in with each other.  Often.  Discuss what it is that you will do to make sure each other is okay.  It can be something as simple as touching an elbow.  And then know that every time he touches your elbow, he is checking to make sure that everything is okay.  That you are still enjoying yourself.  That you want to continue.  This will not only make sure that both of you are still enjoying yourself, but it will let your partner know that you haven’t forgot that they are there.  That you are concerned about their well-being.  Be aware:  jealousy can pop up at any time.  A different noise, a different look.  It could be anything that triggers it.   You need to keep that in mind so if and when it comes, you can deal with it right away.
  • Safeword.  If it’s your first threesome, for any of you, it may just be easier to make a safeword that all three of you are aware of.  If anyone gets uncomfortable, if anyone wants it to end, just say the word and it’s over.  No questions asked.  “Red” is always an easy one.  As is “safeword.”  Become comfortable with the idea of a safeword, because it can lower the stress that you, or your lover, or your third, may be feeling.

The Third

  • If you decide to have a threesome with a friend, someone you know, think really hard about it before you follow through.  I’m not saying it can’t be done (all of my threesomes have been with friends), but you need to be prepared that it very well may change the dynamic of your friendship.  It may not.  I’ve had sex with people I know and there was no awkward weirdness afterwards.  Kind of like nothing happened at all.  And then I’ve had those people that I’ve simply made out with, and things just never seemed to be the same.  If you are set on the threesome being a friend, go for it, just make sure that you are all on the same page.  But if you can, I would suggest that it not be someone close to you.  Not someone that you may be willing to lose.
  • Their rules.  You’re third will have limits and boundaries as well.  And these need to be discussed and respected.  What are they looking for in the adventure?  What do they enjoy?  What don’t they like?  Ask questions before hand.  Maybe she is bi-curious, and is willing to be on the receiving end, but isn’t interested in going down on your girl.  These are things that are good to know going in.  It will eliminate uncomfortable situations…
  • Making it special.  This person, woman or man, is giving you and your partner a great gift.  Something special that you will remember for a long time.  Make sure it is good for them too.  Don’t just focus on each other.  Remember, they are the third wheel.  Don’t make them feel that way.  Make them feel that they are just important as each of you are…  Because,
    3 girls kissing.

    Image via Wikipedia

    really, they are.  They are the one that is making the threesome happen.

  • Safety.  You will not know your third’s background, and they won’t know yours.  Be safe.  Use protection.  Again, discuss this before hand.  If everyone is up to date on tests, that’s even better.  But talk about it…  Please!

Final Thoughts

I feel that this is kind of repetitive of the last threesome post.  But I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to go over these things.  Hopefully, none of these issues come up.  But if they do, you want to know how you’ll handle them.  After all, hope for the best, but plan for the worst…  Next threesome post:  Finding a third…