This is Why I do What I do: 2013 Sex Survey

If you read regularly, you make remember a few months ago, when I was ranting about the iVillage 2013 Sex Survey. Well, I just wanted to warn you, I’m doing it again.

Be prepared.

And I promise, I’m at least going to try and not repeat what I said last time. We’ll see how that goes.


  • 59% of women and 39% of men report having sex out of obligation, at least sometimes. They say this like it’s a bad thing, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. As a matter of fact, I think it’s a wonderful thing. See, here’s the thing — sometimes you’re not in the mood, and that’s okay. But what happens when you’re not in the mood for a week, 2 weeks, a month, 5 months? You get the picture. When you’re not having sex, a terrible thing can happen… You can stop wanting sex. So don’t let that happen. Have sex, even when you don’t want it, at least once in awhile. And there’s a good fucking chance that if you do put out, and actively participate (come on girls, don’t just lay there like a log, partake in the enjoyment), you’ll end up being glad you did.


  • 43% of women have been in the mood within the last week. 55% of men have. What the fuck? Don’t people want to fuck? I think I started masturbating regularly at 12 or 13. I can’t think of a whole week that has ever gone by in those 20 years that I haven’t wanted to cum. No wonder people are such assholes! Christ, everyone’s bent up sexual frustration is leaking out onto the streets and the sales of antidepressants are skyrocketing. Fuck more, people, you’ll be happier. I promise you that.

Turn Offs

  • Top turn offs: Stress — women 49%, men 37%. Exhaustion — women 46%, men 30%. You want to know something? Sex, both with and without orgasms, releases stress due to the increase in oxytocin. Oh, and one more thing… Sex helps you sleep better, relaxes you, and makes you feel closer to your partner. Yeah, so go get laid; the stress levels will drop. Promise.


  • 34 % of men and 20% of women admit to checking their spouses phone for evidence of cheating. Okay. People cheat. 1 in 5, they say. But let me tell you something. If you are looking for something, trying to find some little piece of evidence against your partner, chances are you are going to find it whether it’s there or not. Does that make any sense? What I’m trying to say is that if you are looking to find something, there is a good chance you will come across something innocent, and make it into something big. Honestly, I think most people who cheat are smart about it. They don’t leave blatant evidence laying around to be found. Just sayin’.


  • 63% of women say they never watch online porn. Why the fuck not? I think this is a lie. I watch online porn all the time. I didn’t know other people didn’t. At least not people that would take part in an online sex survey! People need to masturbate more. You hear me? Go now. Rub one down. It’s good for you for christ’s sake!

Best Sex

  • 45% of women and 68% of men say they married the best sex of their lives. Damn fucking right!


So that’s it. Not too exciting, but thought I’d share what’s going on out there in bedrooms across America. Sad, but true.


25 responses to “This is Why I do What I do: 2013 Sex Survey

  1. Very interesting…..Loved this…

  2. I totally agree on the first one. But I know that there are lots of physical & emotional reasons people can have to make the libido statistics come out that way. My interest went WAY down after being on anti-depressants. The trade-off (miserable, useless, depressed me vs. functional but less ready for sex me) is one I’ll accept.

    • A very long time ago, I was on Zoloft and not only did it kill my libido, but it made it REALLY hard for me to get off. I eventually stopped taking it. I started Wellbutrin to help me quit smoking, but never then actually tried to stop. It improved my mood, even though I really wasn’t depressed, and INCREASED my libido. Like crazy. I remember when I first started taking it, I was molesting M all the time, wanted laid like 3 or 4 times a day, plus was rubbing it down multiple times a day. *sigh* Needless to say, I’m still taking it! haha! Mwah!

  3. Too easy to get in a rut. Too easy to let stress get the best of you. Too easy to fade away and lose yourself. I know, I did it and I’ve written about it. It was never who I was. I read a book on a dare and woke up. I’m never going back. This has been the beat year of my life. It made me younger and happier.

    • Exactly right, elle! It’s too easy, all around, it just let it slip away. And it will if you aren’t nurturing it. Sex drive, like most everything else, needs to be fostered and taken care of to keep it healthy. So glad you found yours! *hugs and kisses*

  4. A lot of people won’t admit to watching porn or masturbating. I watch porn all the time and I love to masturbate. It makes me less cranky. There are still people who haven’t found their sexuality yet and feel embarrassed to experience all that sex has to offer. Some just don’t know how to have good sex.

    Rock out with your cock out. Try out things that are done in porno’s. Role play, spank, talk dirty, and pound it out.

    • Fuck ya, Kitty! Damn right! Embrace sex and all there is to it. You’ve only got one life to live… And I’m going to cum as much as I want in as many ways as I can! *hugs and kisses*

  5. I agree with you here on all points LSAM, and here’s some of my thoughts.

    I’ve seldom had sex “out of obligation” in all the history of my sexual life, but this is probably is because I’m a guy, and I’m far more likely to feel delighted and excited by the prospect of having sex, than I am to feel obligated. “Ah, jeese! Ya mean I gotta have sex and get off with an attractive woman who’s hot for me? Oh well, I guess a man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do.” This is NOT a thought that I ever remember having. Lol 🙂 But again, being male could be a factor.

    In the mood? I was “in the mood” around the time I turned 13 years old. That was back in 1983, and I’ve been in the mood ever since. Lol

    Stress and exhaustion? Neither have decreased the frequency with which I’ve had sex, but I’ll be honest here and admit that there have been times when these factors have caused the quality of my sexual performance to be less than what I know I’m capable of. I’m a more creative, imaginative and enthusiastically aggressive lover when I’m feeling relaxed and well rested, but sometimes the trials of life make it difficult to feel that way all the time. But I still always try, and she almost always gets off; maybe just not as intensely as she does, when I’m feeling my best.

    Snooping? Not an issue. My wife doesn’t go looking for trouble, and neither do I.

    Porn: There’s lots of really BAD porn out there, and since men are not as sexually complex as women are, most men can get off on watching garbage porn. But women need to watch sexually graphic entertainment with a higher level of quality to get off. Too many women have watched garbage porn and were so turned off by it, that they never wanted to watch porn again.

    You’re a woman who knows that there are some porn sites online with a much higher level of quality, that women who are not sexually repressed, will enjoy watching, and enough to get off. More women need to know what you know…

    A brief word about that… Without mentioning any names, there was this woman who mentioned an online porn site that she watched, and she implied it wasn’t all that great, but good enough. A man told her about a couple of online porn sites that he watched, that she might like a lot better than the site that she mentioned.

    But the man had never watched the site that she mentioned, and when he did watch it for the first time, boy was he embarrassed by his suggestions to the woman, when he realized that what she was already watching, was much better than his suggestions! Lol

    • Ha! That’s too funny! I just know what types of things will get me off quick, and what kinds of things to watch when I went a slow, long rub-down. Lots of practice I guess! hehe. And you can’t say that you’ve watched really bad porn until you’ve watched midget porn. And yes, I must admit, I belong to that club. I think once in college I actually had a party just to watch it. (How fucking weird is that?)

      And sometimes, when exhausted and overly tired, we simply fuck, as hard and as quick as we can, just because it will make us sleep better. That’s my professional advice for insomnia, a good, quick cumming. *hugs and kisses* and *glad to see you back around these parts*

  6. I’ve only masturbated to porn once or twice in my life. I don’t really watch it ever. What’s good? I need to get off fast…kidding.
    Youporn on your phone you say?

    • I use youporn a lot, just because it has a lot of variety. But on my phone, I can only watch 5 or 6 videos a day as I refuse to pay for porn. M uses xhamster mostly, and sometimes I venture over there too. Last year, I got into gay porn for a bit, and you’ve got to go to some different sights to see anything descent.

      I don’t always watch porn when I masturbate, but it gets me off quicker, and with little ones, as you know, sometimes it needs to be quick! *hugs and kisses*

  7. I think they only survey the sexually repressed…or people lie through their teeth – even on an anonymous survey.

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  9. Reblogged this on Penny Fisk and commented:
    I was reading an erotic story the other day and one of the characters comments to his current lover that he got divorced from his wife because they were not well matched sexually. They only did it once every two months or was it twice ever month. It really doesn’t matter because I was appalled either way. My therapist/counselor confirmed this fact by telling me that it was true. Some couples (obviously the ones who have trouble and go to her) only do it twice a year! WTF?! I couldn’t believe it. Thank God that my husband my numbers are SUBSTANTIALLY better than this and we have been together since I was 19. I’m 42 now. Given our numbers, I would venture to say that the fact that we do it so much has been a major contributing factor for us STAYING together. I guess you could classify us as well matched sexually. Sure there are times that I’m “not in the mood”, but I do consider it an obligation for those times. The reason for this is that I made a promise to myself when we first met that I would never use sex to manipulate. Why? Because it’s just wrong. I can remember my own father sneaking up behind my mother while she did the dishes to give her a hug and a kiss on the neck. Her reaction was to shake him off and reject him. Wow! Evan at age 9 I could tell that this was not the thing to do. I felt so sorry for my father. Needless to say they got divorced within a year. I made a promise to myself when we got married that I would do my best (unless I had a really good reason) to always say “yes” whenever he came on to me. I try to think of my body as not belonging to me but to him and vice versa. Finally, I for the most part try not to get disappointed when I don’t cum (It isn’t for his lack of trying on my husband’s part because he puts in all the effort he can.) Furthermore, I suspect that part of my problem when that happens is because of my medicine. (Here is post on one of my blogs that shows a lecture on TED by an expert on love who talks about the problem of antidepressants and love/attachment. She talks about it at 18:09)

    • Hi! *waves* I had issues with antidepressants in the past, but now I take Wellbutrin and it has the opposite effect; it makes you horny as hell!

      And I totally agree about lots of good sex keeping you together. Not saying it’s just the sex, but when you’re having lots of sex, the other things that keep a relationship strong, tend to fall into place: feeling close, communication, touching, etc. Plus it keeps the right chemicals in your brain, and keeps you “in love.”

      *sigh* People need to fuck more! haha

      Thanks for the reblog and the comment! *hugs and kisses*

      • Love, love, love your blog. Thank you for sharing it with the world. My psychiatrist just took me off of Wellbutrin because I was starting to get manic (obvious signs were hyper sexuality and not wanting to go to sleep). The other effect that I mentioned comes from my Lamictal, I suspect. The love expert in the TED video specifically mentioned SSRIs that manipulate serotonin levels.

        • SSRIs… They do great for depression, but lots of side effects. The Lamictal too. Did you know Risperdal can cause lactation? I’ve had it happen to two different clients! wtf.

          Anyway, so glad you’re around! Mwah!!

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