English: Naked man Deutsch: Nackter Mann, auf ...

Image via Wikipedia

If you are reading this, I’m going to assume a few things about you.  You are relatively sexually experienced.  You enjoy sex, are comfortable with your body, and interested in giving your partner pleasure.  If any of those are wrong, I’m sorry.  But I wanted to put that out there, because this topic can make some people a little squeamish.  Just a head’s up on that…

The Prostate

So, the male prostate.  What is it?  The prostate is a gland found two to three inches into a man’s anus (on the front wall, towards his belly) and makes a lot of the fluid that goes into his spunk.  When a man’s excited, his prostate swells and massaging it can bring on some intense, very intense, pleasures.

The Taint

The most common way to stimulate a man’s prostate is through the taint (the area between his balls and his ass).  When you and your boy are getting it on, put some pressure on this area.  For me, it’s always easiest to get to when I’m giving him head.  I mean, you’re already down there anyway.  Reach behind his balls, and rub some circles on the taint.  Use some pressure.  Remember, the prostate is quite a ways up and in, so don’t just lightly touch the area (although he may like that too, it’s just not reaching the prostate if you don’t use pressure).  I tend to use my thumb, just because it’s easier for me, but I’ve also heard using a knuckle works well.  When he’s getting closer to cumming, increasing the pressure can really make him go at it.

Understand that taint stimulation, from what I am told, is next to nothing compared to actual stimulation of the prostate.  Keep that in mind if you enjoy taint play and are still hesitant to go any further.

The Anus

Okay.  From here we are going to talk about more direct stimulation.  Some of you may freak out a bit.  But hear me out.  Because if you and your guy are willing to give this a try, his orgasms will be amazing (many people say two to three times stronger than a regular orgasm).  You’re going to start by playing with his ass.  More specifically, his anus.  Massage around the opening, pressing against it.  Start pretty gently with this, and don’t worry about actually penetrating him yet.  If your guy hasn’t experienced anal play before, there is a good possibility he’s going to be rather psychologically uncomfortable with ass play.  And make sure your nails are short, or at least not sharp.  If you’ve ever been fingered by a guy and he has a sharp spot on his nail, you know it hurts like hell.  Now imagine that in your ass.  Just saying, cut your damn nails if you’re going to play with his ass.


Once you are both comfortable with this bit of ass play, it’s time to move forward.  Lube your

Erotic butt

Image via Wikipedia

hand up.  Use lots of lube.  Lots.  And the thicker the better when dealing with anal play (girls, also use thicker lube during anal sex, it doesn’t dry out as quick and therefore works much better).  When we’re talking about the ass, in my opinion, there is no such thing as too much lube.  And begin slow.  Just start with one finger, going in a little at a time.  The sphincter muscles will relax more with each time, it just takes a few moments.  Girls, if you’ve ever had anal sex, you know exactly what I’m talking about here.  Take it slow.  With lots of lube.  Once your finger is fully inserted, you should be able to find the prostate gland.  It’s a small, chestnut-shaped, sponging-feeling bump on the front wall of his rectum.

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Like anything in life, and especially sex, different things will feel better to different people.  Here are some of the common ways to touch that I’ve been told feel good.

  • Constant Pressure:  You can accomplish this by pressing continuously on the prostate.  Vary the pressure and see what feels best.
  • Thrusting:  Using small thrusting motions towards the prostate, making sure you are contacting it doing the motion.
  • Come Hither Motion:  Move your finger in the same motion you use when asking someone to “come here.”  This is also the same motion used to find a girl’s g-spot, which is very similar, both in design and pleasure point, as a man’s prostate.
  • Squeezing:  Once a man’s  aroused, his prostate swells (again, just like a girl’s g-spot).  Using a squeezing, or milking, type motion can feel very good.  It is easier to do by starting at the top of the gland, pushing down towards the bottom.
  • Mix It Up:  Play around.  Figure out what works for you.  One thing may feel better at the beginning, and a different type of stimulation when you are close to cumming.

Final Thoughts

  • You must be comfortable.  If you’re concerned about it being unclean, take a shower before engaging.  Not only will it guarantee cleanliness, it will also help you relax.
  • Make sure everyone’s turned on.  Don’t go for this as the first step in foreplay, at least not the first time.
  • And you can always consider rimming as an intro to ass play.  It feels good.  If you are with a partner you know and trust, it’s definitely enjoyable.  And maybe he’ll return the favor.  Don’t be afraid.  Rim jobs really do feel great.  Just start by licking around the anus, it’s very sensitive.  You can also take the tip of your tongue and push it against the anal opening.
English: stainless steel butt plug with jewelery

Image via Wikipedia

  • It will probably feel weird the first time, and you may not even know what feels good, as all the sensations are so different.  It may take a bit of time.  But, from what I’ve been told, the means justify the end…  Basically, it’s a fucking kick ass orgasm.
  • There are a TON of toys made specifically for prostate stimulation.  There are butt plugs designed with a curve and small thin insertables that look as though they feel fantastic.
  • I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I once heard that regular stimulation of the prostate helps to keep it healthy and therefore lowers the risk of prostate cancer.  Do it for your health!
  • Don’t forget to stroke his cock well all of this is going on…
  • There is so much taboo about anal play, especially when men are on the receiving end. The prostate is filled with nerve endings, so it naturally feels good to touch it.  Don’t let repressive cultural stigmas get in your way of trying something new.  I’m not saying you have to try this, I’m just saying don’t let puritanical and homophobic bullshit be what’s stopping you.
  • Always wash with soap and water afterwards.