And a great big giant *Mwah*!
Yes, it’s that time again, blog awards! So without further ado, lets just get on with the show.
The first two nominations (and the third, if I tracked it back) spawned from Nate and his mission of spreading the love amongst us sex bloggers. And I must say that I’m impressed. I’ve never received this award before, and I’ve got it 3 times in the last few weeks! Shit, fuck, damn! Not only have I received it, but it’s spreading like wildfire, and it’s nice to see something specific to us, as let me tell you, just in case you don’t blog or don’t do awards… There are only so many random facts that one can tell. Seriously. If you’ve read all my blog awards throughout my time here at LSAM, well, you’d know my shoe size, my favorite foods, favorite books and music, what my tattoos are, the body wash I use, etc, etc. So sometimes it’s nice to focus on what we love to focus on: SEX! Woo-hoo!
- Someone is attempting to seduce you over dinner, what is the dinner? Depends on where we’re eating. Chances are it would be a grilled chicken salad, a steak, or ribs (if I’m not wearing white). Could be hibachi, and in that case, it’s shrimp.
- Which song or songs get/put you in a sensual-sexual mood? First thing that comes to mind is Morphine. But if I’m feeling frisky, then I like something a bit harder. Maybe some Tool. Maynard James Keenan has a voice that I would do dirty, dirty things to simply hear him say some dirty, dirty things. *If you’re interested, there’s a song from each band below**
- Everyone has a scent that takes them back to a fond moment, what is your scent and the moment? Sensually… Hmm… Probably cocoa butter. Or M’s deodorant. Neither of these take me to specific moments, it’s more that they simply remind me of sex and sensual experiences in general. But as I write this, it brings to mind the smell of the beach: the salty water, the fresh breeze, the hint of sunscreen and sweat. And the beach always makes me excited, aroused.
- A sensuous-sexual activity that you want more of? (backrubs, kissing, etc.) If I’m honest, I’d like to have more impact play. And more bondage. But, see, we lost our headboard. I know, I know. How does one go about losing a 6-foot-king-sized-cast-iron headboard? No fucking clue. But it’s happened.
- A sexual fantasy that you have not indulged, but would if the situation was “perfect” for you (no guilt, travel taken care of, etc.) A gang bang. Not exactly sure what the “perfect” situation would be, and pretty sure this one will most like stay in the fantasy world, but…
- A favorite gift given to you by a partner or lover? My pearl necklace. My nook. Our children.
- One piece of sensuous advice that you would give to anyone? Let go of your inhibitions and insecurities. It’s so much better, for both you and your partner, if you are engulfed in what’s going on and not worrying about the jiggle in your thighs.
- Bonus Question: I am in the mood to read a single paragraph of erotica: What can you create with the following prompts: An apple orchard, a robot with a limp, sunset, and at least one famous person (alive or dead)? I lay on my back, watching the sun set beneath the heavy branches of the apple tree, which cast its shadow across the curves of my body. My hand slips slowly beneath my panties, my fingers sliding across the slickness, my folds opening, spreading for my searching fingers. As I dip first one, then two fingers into my wetness, my eyes close, picturing him, the man from the statue, big, strong, thick, imagining what it would feel like, his warm flesh against mine, his tongue against my skin, his lips working my nipples. Soft moans begin to spill from me, my hips pumping against my hand, remember the feel of a man, a flesh and blood man, pounding into me, remembering his heat, his smell, his touch. My body peaks, my hand buried deep into my pussy, feeling its spasms, tightening and releasing, over and over again. As I relax back onto the grass, satisfied and exhausted, I hear a step-slide, step-slide, the tell-tale sign that SS is making his way towards me. “Ma’mam?” his animated voice makes me wince, “Do you need serviced?” I sigh, opening my eyes, watching him as he pushes a few buttons, attaching a large dildo to his groin. I roll over, pulling up my skirt. Sighing again, I respond, “Sure, but make it hard and quick. And no talking. I want to imagine you’re a real man…”
And then the lovely Nate, a few weeks later, gave me this award again! Yay!! I love double dipping!
- You are tasked with creating a sex toy, what is that sex toy (be original)? A silicone dildo, that’s inflatable. That way, it’s easy to get it, but then you could make it as big as you’d like, so it can stretch you, fill you full, but you don’t have to work up to it or take the time to get it in.
- One alien that you would have sex with? I’m not real big on the alien-type movies/shows. But I’ve always had a thing for Zachery Quinto, so I’d have to say Spock, circa the 2009 film.
- Sexual position that you would like renamed and why? I’d rename Missionary. Why the fuck is it called this anyway? It makes it sound boring, plain. And it doesn’t have to be. It can be fantastic. And erotic. And kinky. And missionary makes me think of church groups in the jungle. I don’t like that.
- What would you do to improve the impression of sex writers that most people have? That we’re bad people, immoral and corrupting the youth and all that shit. We’re not bad people. We’re not abusive (although we may like to be abused!). We simply like sex. And like to write about it. We’re normal people, someone you know from work, or church, or the deli counter at Giant Eagle. We just like sex. And like to talk about it.
- A place that you would have sex in/at if everything worked out? A tour bus. Filled with people. Out in the open, driving down the road.
- The one piece of sexual advice that you would like on your tombstone for all to see? Masturbate: it makes you a better lover.
- The top five items off of your sexual bucket list? Per my last bucket list post: 1) A FFM with M. 2) A MMF with M. 3) 2 x 2. 4) A girlfriend. 5) A BDSM club.
- Bonus Question: I am in the mood for a single paragraph of erotica: can you craft a paragraph with the following prompts: a lusty lass, a broken down van, a hippie with a lisp, and police officer? “What seems to be the problem here, ma’am?” the officer asked as he strolled towards the van parked on the side of the road, its flashers blinking into the dark. Jen popped her head up from the back seat, and, trying to smooth down her hair, sweetly said, “Oh, just a flat tire. Waiting for some friends to pick us up.” The officer’s light shined into the back of the van, looking for the “us” the young lady mentioned. As he leaned in to the van to get a better view, the smell of marijuana drifted towards him. “I’m going to need you to step out of the van. And anyone one else that’s in there with you.” He reached out and pulled the side door of the van open, then stepped back at the scene in front of him. The woman whom he was talking to was naked from the waist down, legs spread wide, smiling at him as the officer’s gaze worked down her body, until it settled at her pussy, which was filled to the brim with a man’s hand, all the way to the wrist. His eyes followed the arm to its owner, a long-haired, 50ish man with a tie-dyed t-shirt, who was smoking a joint with his free hand. “Hello thsir,” the hippie said, before hitting the joint again. “Wanna puff?” He held out his hand, offering the cop a toke. “It’s really dank,” said a new voice, drawing the officer’s attention to the other side of the van, to another naked woman, with long bronze hair, who was wiping her mouth, apparently from sucking the hippie’s cock. “Ah… I need you all to…” the cop stumbled, not sure what should be done first. Jen leaned in towards him, and whispered, “I’d really like to have a cock of my own to suck on…” her fingers trailing down his chest, her tight nipples showing through her thin shirt. “Fuck it,” the officer said, climbing into the van and reaching for the joint.
And then the ever lovely G (come on, have you seen her tits?) nominated me for two awards, the very inspiring blogger award and, yet again, the sensual blogging award. So here we go with those!
7 interesting things about me…
1. I have a dog named Sophia Louise. Sophie Lu for short. She’s a white lab mutt, and almost 10 years old.
2. My first blog was about getting out of debt. Yeah, obviously that one didn’t work out too well.
3. I spend a lot of time in front of the tv, without ever really watching anything.
4. I was drunk the other night, and at a friend’s house for a “welcome back to the east coast party” (even though we don’t really live on the east coast). The girls, who I normally don’t hang out with, partying with the guys instead, started asking me who my celebrity crush was. When I replied I didn’t have one, they thought I was lying, and started harassing me. They asked me what shows I watched on tv, and when I said I didn’t, one thing led to another and I ended up telling them that I blog. Dumb, dumb drunk girl I am. I tried to avert the questions that kept coming at me, giving them some information, but not enough to “out me” or the blog. But I have a feeling the next few days there were a lot of google searches for marriage and female ejaculation.
5. During this same conversation, I hugged one of the girls who knew what a sybian was, as not one other girl had a clue.
6. My hits have increased significantly since I was reviewed by Jane’s Guide.
7. I’ve been considering buying my own url, but even though lovesexandmarriage.com isn’t there, I can’t seem to buy the damn thing. Anyone have any ideas why?
And now here are my questions from G…
- What would be the best date to get you in a sensual mood? Somewhere on the beach. With alcohol and pot. And lots and lots of lotion. Oh, and a blanket… sand can sneak into places you don’t want it to be.
- What is your cocktail of choice, if you do drink? Does drinking put you in a sensual mood? Captain and coke is my go to and what I drink most often. Also a huge fan of snake bites and lemon drops, although I don’t drink vodka unless M is with me, because, well, if I start drinking vodka, I tend to not stop until I can’t drink any more, which is often way, way too late. If I’m drinking beer, it’s something dark. And yes, if I’m drinking, it puts me in a sensual mood. *read, makes me horny* As a matter of fact, at the above mentioned party, at 5 in the morning, everyone finally went to bed. M fell asleep on the basement floor, with me on the couch beside him. No one else was down there, and M was out for the count. So what did I do, after drinking for damn near 12 hours straight. Yep, I pulled up some youporn on my phone and rubbed one down.
- Have you ever danced so closely with a stranger that you sensed them being turned on? (I know this is harder for the gentlemen to answer) I don’t think I’ve ever really danced with a stranger…
- Would you have sex with a person you met four hours ago? In a different life, yes. The only way I’d do it now is if it was someone M and I were bringing home.
- Would you have sex with a person over ten years younger or older than you? Don’t see any reason why not.
- Could you have sex with a person that you never see (think: you are blindfolded and a trusted partner set up a rendevoux with someone they thought you would like, someone who technically meets your standards, yet you will never know if that is true, you have to just trust.) If I never have to know otherwise, then absolutely yes.
- Would your spouse ever accept an indecent proposal? I wish I knew the answer to this one…
BONUS: Flex your creative muscles by creating a sensual paragraph using something that is red, something that is whipped, and the character has to be surprised by something.
Her red dress was ripped down the front, ruined on the first wear. But the thought never crossed her mind, as her back arched, his mouth finding the way to her nipple, sucking it deep and hard into his mouth, his teeth scraping the sensitive skin against her breast. His hands were on her waist, so when she felt the pressure on her shoulders, pushing her onto her back, the shock and surprise overwhelmed her, causing her breath to quicken and her pulse to race. She started to fight against the rope binding her hands, but the soft, wet lips that brushed against her neck soothed her, even though she did not know who they belonged to. As they moved up, grazing her chin line, up to her lips, she gave in, her body lowering as a hand slipped between her legs, opening her wide, so her nether lips were spread, the scent of her arousal assaulting her senses, making her want more. As fingers plunged into her wetness, she cried out, and her mind didn’t register the sound of the shaking can until the cool whipped cream covered her clit and lips moments before the warmth of lips and the flick of a tongue replaced the cold, sending her body through another series of spasms. A set of hands pinched both her nipples, twisting and pulling, as fingers were thrust into her cunt, making her call out, her sound muffled by the lips, teeth, and tongue invading her mouth. An eternity later, when a hard cock thrust into her pussy at the same moment another cock plunged into her mouth, she no longer cared who was who, or what was what, as long as the pleasure continued.
So there you have it, four new blogging awards! Damn, who knew I was so loved! * curtsy* And now for my nominations… And this is a hard one, as many of you that I want to bestow this upon either have already received it, or don’t do awards. So please bear with me, if you’ve already got it or just ignore it if you want…
- Captain Kitty: Because you’re real and you crack me up all the time. You literally make me LOL.
- Night Owl: Because of your honesty and take on life.
- Invisible Woman: Because you’re using your blog for what it’s for, for you.
- Confessions of Your Husband’s Mistress: Because of your resilience and determination.
- Jayne Ayres: Because of your shared insight and great writing.
- Ginger’s Journey: Because of your quality friendship and kind heart.
- Dawn: Because you say it how it is and don’t hold back. Girl, I wish you knew how great you are!
- Theo: Because you are a great guy with a big heart. L is a lucky woman.
- Nick: Because you are always there and set me straight when I’m veering too far right or left. **And I’m expecting you to do this, and I’ll post it as a guest blog, just so ya know**
And here are my 7 questions… Nate and G, I’m expecting you two to answer these as well. See, I like to make things up as I go!
1. Describe your last sexual experience in 3 words. (Not a question, I know, but deal with it.)
2. What did you think about last time you masturbated?
3. What’s your number one hard limit, no exceptions?
4. What’s the easiest/quickest way for you to get off?
5. What movie, not porn, do you find the most arousing?
6. If you had to have, or do have, a fetish, what is it?
7. Anal sex… you like it or no?
And the bonus paragraph of erotica… The prompts include: a kiwi, a sharp knife, an erection and an orgasm.
And here are two songs for you, both of which I find arousing…