Mmmm… Yes, right there… A little harder… Oh, that’s perfect…
We all like to know that are lovers are enjoying themselves when we are doing whatever it is that we are doing… sucking their dick, licking their pussy, playing with their ass. The moans and groans of pleasure are sexy as hell, but you know what’s even sexier… talking dirty.
But sometimes it’s hard to know what to say. How do you start? How do you know your lover will like it? What if you sound like a bad porn star? We all have these concerns, but with a little guidance and some practice, you’ll have Jenna Jameson sounding like your grandma at Sunday mass.
You want to start talking dirty. Or maybe you want your lover to talk dirty to you. Well, the first thing to do is ask. There are two options: one — talk about it before hand, at a non-sexual moment or two — bring it up in the middle of some hot sexy love makin’. Either way, here are some sexy pointers…
- Ask questions of your lover. How does that feel? Do you like it when I do (insert verb)? Not only will this get you talking, but it opens the door for your partner as well. It is always sexier when it’s a conversation, and not just one-sided. Added bonus — you may find out secret things that turn your lover on. Ask her, “What do you want,” “What turns you on?” Her responses might surprise you…
- It’s okay to use words we normally wouldn’t. Words like pussy. Cunt. Dick. Cock. Fuck. It adds to the rawness, the pure sexuality, of the situation. Especially if these are words you normally don’t use (if you use them regularly, I’m assuming you wouldn’t be looking for info on talking dirty :)). Using “dirty” language also pushes our limits. Makes us somewhat uncomfortable. And if we are uncomfortable, we are aware, sensitive to those things going on around us. To keep sex alive and sexy, sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone…
- It’s okay to laugh. We laugh when we are having fun. Good sex is fun. If you are just starting to engage in “dirty talk,” be ready to giggle. You might be nervous, you may feel slightly uncomfortable. You are more likely to laugh when you are unsure. It’s okay. Understand that your partner isn’t going to judge you… Although it may sound funny, odd, or ridiculous to you, it will turn them on that you are “naughty.” I promise.
- Emails and texts. Sometimes it’s easier to put things in writing than it is to say them out loud. If you’re having trouble verbalizing your “dirty talk,” start with sending him a sexy text. It can be as simple as “last night was great… thinking of a replay” or “I’ve been
thinking of going down on you all day… are you up for that?” Or, if you are comfortable with it, and a little more promiscuous, you could try something like “I can’t wait to suck your cock tonight” or “I really need to fuck you.” Either way, get the conversation going.
- Moan and Groan. If you aren’t quite ready to put the “naughty” words out there, at least make sure you are letting your lover know that you are enjoying what’s happening. I’ve always been… umm… verbally responsive during sex. Apparently, I make a lot of noise when I’m getting fucked. I remember when M and I started sleeping together (way back in the “friends with benefits” stage), he was behind me, fucking me doggy style, and I was cumming underneath him. He started to pick up speed, leaned over me and whispered in my ear, “Oh my God, you make so much noise,” and came, well before he wanted to. Up til that point, I had never even noticed. But, in hindsight, I guess I am rather noisy!
- Once you are comfortable expressing your pleasure through sounds, it is time to move forward. If you don’t know where to start, talk about what is going on, what he’s doing to you… Examples: “I love it when you lick my pussy like that,” “You feel so tight,” “You’re mouth is so warm,” “You’re cock is so hard,” “You’re pussy is so wet,” … You get the picture. If you are hesitant, just say something (anything) and see what the response is. I’ll bet that it will be a positive.
- Keep in mind that giving an exact play-by-play isn’t that sexy. It’s hot to say “You cock is so hard. I love it when you fuck me.” It’s not so sexy to say “Now I’m licking your pussy. Now I’m fucking you. I’m rubbing your clit…” yada, yada, yada. There is an extent to the play-by-play. Say how good it feels, don’t detail your every move.
- Explain what you want. “I really love it when you (verb) my (body part).” Whether it is lick my pussy or fuck my ass, well dear reader, that is all up to you. But there is never any shame in telling your lover what you want from them. Telling them what turns you on.
If you want to talk dirty, but don’t know what to say, fake it til you make it. After all, practice makes perfect. If you are at a lack of ideas, try some of these…
- You taste so good.
- You are so beautiful when you cum like that.
- Ride me.
- I want you to suck my cock.
- It feels so good when your fingers are in my pussy.
- I want to make you cum so hard.
- Tell me what you want…