Love Sex and Marriage

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Power Exchange

What Is a Dominant’s Duty?

I hate to admit it, but I’m afraid.

See, a few weeks back, Sir and I were having a random conversation about spanking, whipping, and caning, in which He said something along the lines of, “I’m so going to make you safe word.” (Daddy so does not say say the word “so”).

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To Women Who Ask for D/s, then It Fades

Every once in awhile, I get an email from a reader looking for advice, and often times it’s about how to ask for D/s or add some BDSM to the bedroom. While I’m not necessarily an expert, I’ll offer my advice when I can.

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Primary Love Needs

In the last year, I’ve downsized my book collection by at least 60%. The last time I purged, one of the books in the pitch pile was Mars and Venus in Touch by John Gray (the guy who wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, just in case that wasn’t obvious). I flipped through the book, skimming it for anything I might find interesting, and I stumbled upon what Gray calls “The primary love needs of women and men.”

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Making Her: Scene Stealer #20

Here’s a brief piece of erotica for you, dear reader, inspired by this week’s Scene Stealer from Write to Done. You must start your story with their scene, and this week, you had to use the second-person POV.

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I Like It When…

I  like it when he trails his fingertips along my collar-bone, feather touches, light and soft. I like it when he runs them down my sides, across my ribs. And when the backs of his fingers scraping against the hollow between my breasts, I arch into His touch.

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Struggles with Submission

It seems to me I’ve read a lot about struggling with your submission. Seems rather common.

And there are all sorts of things submissives struggle with. Always feeling like you could do better, that you are not submissive enough. Turning into a brat when things don’t go your way or you want to act out *one of the most common things you’ll find*. Becoming frustrated with things are not going the way you want to, or moving fast enough for you. Trusting in your Dominant. Giving in. The list goes on and on.

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30 Days of Submission: Day 1

courtesy of tumblr

courtesy of tumblr

I’ve had these writing prompts floating around in my drafts for over a year. I came across them at Submissive Guide, which I’d recommend to anyone interested in D/s, both novices and those with more experience. LunaKM wrote a great explanation of how to use these prompts to grow and understand your own submission even more. So, without further ado, here we go.

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Thoughts on Power Exchange

*Disclaimer: This post may piss a few of you off. That’s not my intent. This is meant to be more of a “these are my thoughts, what are your thoughts.” So if this pisses you off, please tell me what your thoughts on the matter are. I seek to understand…*

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The Desire to Touch…

Ok, so I gave in, and interestingly enough, decided to read the second 50 Shades (much better than the first, mind you), but at the beginning of the book, I was struck by something I don’t think I mentioned before, and found myself compelled to write this, while sitting at the garage, waiting for my car to get inspected.

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Unexpected Benefits of a D/s Relationship

Image of S/M sexuality

Image of S/M sexuality (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Over the weekend, I was doing some back reading, still catching up on blog posts that I haven’t had time to get to.  I was over at Leather Cuffs and Silken Bonds and reading this post by Jake, and it got me thinking.  I’ve talked about this briefly, here and there, since the big blow out with M occurred over six weeks ago, but I don’t think I’ve really discussed it in detail, or really explained what I meant by it.

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Sometimes I’m a Brat

Image of S/M sexuality

Image of S/M sexuality (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t really want to be, but sometimes it just comes out of me.  Being new to the whole BDSM thing, especially as a mainstay in our lifestyle, is pretty damn interesting, to say the least. And the first month has been fucking fantastic.  But damn.  Sometimes this shit just pours out of my mouth, well before it hits my brain.  As soon as I hear myself say it, I’m like, “Wtf LSAM!  Are you even thinking?”  And most of the time it’s stupid shit.  Dumb, bratty shit.

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Responsibilities of a Submissive (Stolen)

la dame sans merci VIII

la dame sans merci VIII (Photo credit: sweethell)

I’ve stumbled upon this a few times now, and although I have a few posts started, nothing is ready tonight.  And, being since it is Sunday and hence, stealing is allowed, I thought why not pass it on.  From what I could find, the original author is unknown.  The italics are my additional thoughts on the matter, just because I felt like chirping in.

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Karma’s a Bitch: On Becoming Submissive

Good morning my dear readers…

Image of sado-masochism

Image of sado-masochism (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As many of you may know, I have been struggling sometime with the power dynamic in my relationship with M (this can be seen in multiple back posts including here and here and here).  I could never find the way to verbalize what I wanted to M, in a way that made me still feel submissive.  After all, if I ask him to pin me down and fuck me, spank me until my ass is candy apple red, or fuck my face like I’m a dirty slut…  well, that’s not very submissive.  That’s not letting him take the reins and steer the relationship to where he wants it to go.  It’s not letting him dominate a fucking thing.  If I would ask for these things, it’s just me, still in control, pretending to be submissive.  Kind of fucks with the whole idea.  It does not set up the dynamic I was seeking, the power exchange between a man and a woman.  A true D/s relationship.  It would all be role play, me topping from the bottom.  idk.  It just wasn’t right.

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Novice Thoughts on BDSM

English: Bent forward strappado

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday, M, me and the family all headed to Cabela’s.  We were in the car for almost two hours each way, which gave me the opportunity to catch up on some of my readings (although I really should have worked on my story…  February 28th is just around the corner).  I brought Patricia Payne’s Sex Tips From a Dominatrix, and read just about the whole thing on the trip…  So here we go…  my novice thoughts on BDSM.

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