English: pierced nipples, my own photo

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I’ve had a strange relationship with my nipples and nipple play throughout the years.  I’ve always had big boobs, and was one of the first girls in school to have to wear a bra.  Once in high school, it made me popular, but that when hand in hand with lots of comments and ogling.  This seemed to make me disconnect with my boobs.  I cared less that they were there, and often wished I was a girl with “itty-bitty-titties.”  So for years, and I mean YEARS, nipple play did not do a whole lot for me.  It felt nice, even good sometimes, but overall, it wasn’t going to get me anywhere.  At 23, I decided to get them pierced.  Not because I was looking for more pleasure (pain?) from them, but simply because I loved the way a bar bell looked through a hard nipple.  To my surprise, it really increased the pleasure I felt through nipple play.  I’d love it when M and would tug on the rings with his teeth.  Even just simple squeezes felt better.

Then I got pregnant.  I took my rings out.  Then I got pregnant again.  And again.   I breastfed all three of them.  This meant that my boobs got even bigger.  REALLY big.  I’d hear comments from my male friends, or my husband’s friends when they didn’t think I was listening.  Things about motor boating and titty fucking, and blah, blah, blah.  It made me start to hate them.  They were in my way all the time.  They made my back hurt.  They fucked with my golf swing.  And if you know anything about breastfeeding, you know that after a while, the nipples become calloused from the baby suckling.  When this happens, over and over again, the nipples become desensitized due to nerve damage.

So, for a long time, I barely even noticed nipple play.  Could barely feel it.  Even today, you’d be impressed with how hard my nipples can be squeezed, tugged, and pulled without even a wince from me.  But then one day, while I was riding M, he grabbed my nipples, hard, and pulled.  I instantly came all over him.  And it didn’t stop.  Now, I absolutely LOVE my nipples being played with.  It has to be hard, and it has to be rough, but I love it.  Never in my first 15+ years of masturbating, did I ever play with my nipples.  Now I do it all the time.  I crave it.  I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why, all I know is I’m so happy about it.

So, here’s some information about nipple play.  Understand my experience, and understand many women and men do not like it like I do.  I’m going to try to cover all angles here, but I’m sure there will be some stuff missing.  Please help me fill in the blanks, add what I’ve forgotten, and give your impressions on how you like your nipples played with.

Starting Off

As with anything sexual, always follow your partner’s lead.  Watch for signs that they like it (sighs, moans, intake of

English: Standard nipple piercings. East Bay C...

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breath, etc) or that they don’t.  If you don’t know your lover’s preference with nipple play, it’s best to start slow and gentle.


Many feel that it is exciting to have their nipples blown on (especially after a mouth as been there-when you blow over the moisture, it can send chills) and it is an excited way to begin your nipple play.  You can switch between cool breaths (purse your lips together and blow hard) and warm (mouth open, close to the skin, breathing slow), creating different feelings.


Touch your fingers, your whole hand, or your tongue, but pay attention to the response of the body.  Nipples respond whether we want them to or not.  They will grow, harden, tighten, lengthen.  Watch for these responses, and proceed accordingly.  Start slow, and build up.  Increase pressure.  Increase speed.  Start at the edge of her breast, where the curve begins.  Massage, rolling your fingers in, towards her nipple.  Circle around the areola, closing in the nipple itself.  Change between caresses, making small circles around the nipple, to a slight pinch or tug.  I personally enjoy a pulling twist.  Roll the nipple back and forth in between your pointer finger and your thumb.  Vary the pressure.  Again, watch and respond to what your partner is feeling.

Another strategy is to start at the inside and go out.  If his nipples are sensitive (and they are, men have just as many nerves endings in their nipples as women), you can start with the nipple.  Play with it.  Gently twist it, pull it.  As his pleasure increases, widen your grasp before closing in on the nipple, eventually massaging all of his pec.  Play around.  See what works for you and your lover.  Mix it up.  Experiment.

A quick note on pinching.  I, personally, love having my nipples pinched.  Others don’t.  Start slowly, with gentle pressure, pinch and hold.  Vary the pressure and the length.  Let it go slowly, especially at first.  If you are pinching hard, the blood rushing back into the nipple creates a unique experience, which some will love and others will find very uncomfortable.  Play with this too, varying all the different aspects.  Find out what you like.  Some like a slow hard pinch, with a gentle release.  Others like a quick, hard pinch, with a quick let go.


If nipples respond to manual play, oral play can be even more exciting.  Again, start slow and gentle.  Begin with your lips, brushing against it.  Slightly open your lips around the nipple, lick it with your tongue.  Use different motions, running your tongue around the nipple, use the tip of your tongue to flick across it, or flatten your tongue out and run it along the nipple.  Suck on them.  Lightly at first (the first boy to suck on my nipples, when I was 13, left huge hickies on both my breasts-he was older-16-and was sucking so hard it hurt, but I was too nervous to ask him to stop- it wasn’t fun).  Increase the pressure slowly and mix it up by still using your tongue to play with it.

Some (many?) like biting.  Lightly scrap your teeth along the edges of the nipple, from bottom to top.  Or you can grip the nipple between your teeth and use your tongue to do circles around it while the nipple is in your mouth.  If you’d like to go further, start with a gentle bite, maybe with a slight pulling back of your head, creating pressure from both the tugging and the teeth.  Watch for the response.  Maybe you can go harder, maybe not.

English: Wax play on nipple.

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Kink and nipples have a long history and their relationship comes in many forms.  Playing with temperature is a light kink to start with.  Grab some hot tea and ice-cubes.  Take a drink of the hot liquid, then put your mouth on her nipple.  Play a bit.  Get an ice-cube in your hand and, after taking your warm mouth away, gently place the ice on her nipple.  Watch her squirm.  Keep in mind that ice will cause numbing pretty quick, so you may want to start with just a few seconds or so at a time.  You can step this game up a notch by playing with wax (please make sure it’s body wax, as it cools quickly- regular candle wax can burn skin, especially when it is as sensitive as  skin around your nipple).

Clamps.  They come in many styles and strengths.  There are clamps that go on each nipple separately.  There are

Nipple Clamps.

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clamps that are joined with a chain, designed to be pulled on (I’ve never used one of these, but I’m definitely ordering one soon- I’ll let you know what I think after it arrives).  There are clothes pin style clamps, that pinch down and can’t be regulated.  There are others, like C-clamps, that can be adjusted to create just the right amount of pressure.  And then there are clamps that vibrate and clamps that can have electric shocks run through them.  These are more extreme kinks, some focused on nipple torture rather than nipple pleasure.  But, as many of us know…  It’s a thin line between the two.  remember when using clamps, they force the blood out of the nipple.  When removed, especially those that pinch very tight, they can create more pain than the clamps themselves.  Be careful.

Final Thoughts

And, girls, remember nipple play is not just for you.  M loves to have his nipples played with.  Many men do.  There is also talk out there about nipple orgasms.  I’ve never had one, so I don’t want to pretend to tell you how to do it, but I believe they do exist.  If you’ve experienced one (giving or receiving), tell me about it.

And after all this, I’m thinking of getting my nipples re-pierced…  I wonder what M would think.