It’s Not an Oscar…

But I am humbly honored nonetheless.

It’s been awhile, and I am a horribly bad blogger. I have had a horrible case of “nothing to say” and have had what is probably my longest slacking period on the LSAM since it has started.

*shrugs* Well, I still really don’t have anything to say, but figured I could do the honorable thing and accept  awards that have been hanging around in my drafts for quite awhile.

So, without further ado, here we go with the show…

A long, long while ago, Confessions of Your Husband’s Mistress nominanted me with the Liebster Award. You guys all know the way the rules go, and this award happens to come with questions, which is a good thing right now, as I don’t want to have to think!

But before we actually get to the “interesting nonsense about LSAM, I want to give props to this woman. Mistress is one of the first blogs I followed, well before I stumbled across the rest of you that I consider in my “inner circle.” And of that handful of first blogs, she’s the only one I still follow. Thanks Mistress, for being there from the beginning. If you don’t follow her, she tells her tale with honesty and insight, for both the good and the bad.

  1. What is are you most proud of thus far in your life?  ** My children. Three beautiful kiddos I wouldn’t give up for anything. Each one a unique blessing all all of their own.
  2. What place would you recommend I travel on an exotic vacation? ** I can’t say that I’ve ever been on an “exotic vacation” but I would recommend Hedonism II. I haven’t been there, but plan on going there with M someday, hopefully sooner rather than later. But I suppose we have to take the kids to Disney before I should consider a completely erotic, sexual vacation for just the two of us…
  3. When you think of success, what words come to mind? ** Contentment. I believe if you can look at your life and say that you are overall content, than that is as successful as you can hope to be.
  4. What life lesson (s) would you like to pass down to the next generation? ** Don’t fuck up you credit, it will haunt you for a lot longer than whatever it is that you sacrificed it for. Most likely, you aren’t going to die before your 30, so don’t rely on that. If you haven’t seen paperwork saying the person you’re fucking is clean, wear a condom; if you’ve seen the paperwork, but don’t know if you want that person in your life forever, wear a condom. Don’t shot dope and don’t use bath salts; period end.
  5. What’s your favorite movie? ** I’ve got a few, depending on my mood. In no particular order: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Dirty Dancing, Interview With a Vampire, Dazed and Confused, My Friend Flicka and The Black Beauty (the original versions, not the modern ones), Aladdin, Empire Records, Fight Club and probably a thousand more.
  6. What’s the best date you’ve been on? ** The night M and I “hooked up” the first time was rather fantastic. Although we weren’t technically on a date, it turned out that way and I am grateful for that every day of my life. It was Halloween 2002, and I was dressed as a Dominatrix. The irony.
  7. Do you have a sexual fantasy that you wish weren’t just a sexual fantasy? ** Many (look here if you’d like to know, although this does need updated… hmm, maybe an idea for another easy post). But I also understand that fantasies are often better in our imagination than in reality, so I think I am safe to say that right now, I’m very satisfied and don’t think I need anything to make myself feel “fulfilled.”
  8. How would you spend one million dollars? ** First, I’d put half of it away for my kids’ education and a small trust. Then I would pay off my debt (probably be able to settle most of it for about $75 to $80k). I’d buy the house that my mother and fiance are struggling to get mortgaged ($40K for the house and probably another 20K for upgrades). I’d build my dad a new barn and take care of a few things around the farm, could be as high as $60k. Then, a trip to Europe. And Africa.
  9. What’s the most generous thing you’ve done? **Who knows? I don’t know of anything particularly “generous” that comes to mind.
  10. What famous person would you like to meet? If it could be anyone, alive or dead, I would say Socrates, because who wouldn’t want to spend a day like that? If it had to be someone still alive… perhaps Stephen King, not because I’m a particular fan, but because I would love to get advice on being a successful writer and who better to turn to.
  11. What is a new skill you’d like to learn? It would be beneficial if I could learn how to chop wood effectively and safely. Although a can swing an ax, I don’t think that I’m the safest person to handle one.


And then I was nominated by the dear Truth003, who is sadly no longer on WP for the Fabulous Gutter Blogger Award. Truth, I’ve been out of the loop for awhile, and if you are still out there, I just want to say that I don’t know what happened, but you are missed…

Luckily for me, this award also comes with questions, not making me work too hard to complete it.

  • What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? ** Christ, this is a hard question. Kinky things… I’ve been tied up, fucked just about every way possible, beaten, fisted, etc, etc… My most memorable “kinky” experience is the first time M and I went away after our dynamic was in place (this post give a small glance at the event). It was an amazing weekend, to say the least.
  • What do you now know about sex that you wish you’d have known earlier in life? ** Not to worry about the 5 extra pounds or the pimple on your shoulder. If a guy’s dicks inside of you, he’s probably not too worried about that.
  • Is there any gutter fantasy you’d like to try?(tell us what it is) ** My most gutter fantasy probably consists of being fucked every way possible by any number of people. Nothing I would really want in RL, but lovely thoughts for a 5 minute romp with my Wand and Cush (a lovely combination if I do say so).
  • What’s the funniest bedroom situation you’ve ever been in? ** Oh, god. There have been so many. Getting busted by the kiddos is always fun *dripping sarcasm*. But if you can’t laugh when things go weird, then maybe you shouldn’t be sharing body fluids.
  • Has gutter blogging taught you anything? ** So much. Being a sex blogger has taught me about myself, my desires, wants and fears. It has taught me about my relationships, both between M and I, but also about friendship, both those that have come and those that have gone. But perhaps most of all, or at least most importantly, it has taught me about honesty and acceptance, as that is what I have found here, and what I treasure.
  • What is your favorite post from the person who nominated you? ** Truth, man, if you’re out there, I hope life is treating you well. Again, I don’t know what happened, as I am rather out of the loop, but I wish you well, in all your endeavors.

The lovely Dawn gave me an honorable mention on the above award, so a must give a shout-out to her. Dawn, dear, raw is the only word I can think of the gives even a close representation of your words and thoughts, and even it does not even come close. Even though there is an ocean of space between us, so often I wish we  could share 3 bottles of wine, together on the couch.


Ankoku from Speaking Out on Sex gave me the Blog of the Year award. I must say, it made me blush. Ankoku is a great fella, and he flatters me quite often with nominations. From his Kinky Fuckery to his random thought posts, Nate’s always an interesting read. Thank you, for always being such a great support!

Then, the ever encouraging  Captain Kitty nominated me for the Gargie Award, which is extremely special to me, as this is the first time that I have seen this award. Isn’t he cute in a weird, creepy kind of way? Try as I might, I can’t seem to figure out if there is anything to this award, other than passing it on. So we’ll do that, as soon as I say one thing. Kitty… Thank you. You give me motivation to try to keep the blog going. You always read. Thank you for that. *big hugs*

Captain Kitty also nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award, as did Ranin from Sex and the Arab Woman. And a quick shout out to her, as she has taken on a massive project called Kiss Kaleidos. It’s a sex-positive WP site designed for people to come (cum?), write, comment, and share. With the help of the lovely Brit Rob, she is trying to kick this off the ground. It’s at its infancy, but check it out; it has the possibility to turn into something fantastic.

So, if memory serves me, the requirements for this award include giving random facts. 7, I believe. I’m going to try and throw out 14, but don’t know if I’ll be able to manage all that.

  • Perhaps M and I are too open with our dynamic. The other night, we were going over spelling words with our 6 year old. The word was “Sir” and when I said it, I looked up at him and smiled, and before I could say a sentence using the word, she looks up and says “Daddy is a Sir.” Yes… Daddy is a Sir.
  • I have an irrational fear of getting my hair cut. When I was a senior in high school, I had abraid very, very short pixie style cut, and it took me forever to grow out (my first two years of college, I wore a bandanna just about everyday). And ever since then, I hate to get my hair cut. It almost gives me a panic attack and makes my belly hurt. Last time it was cut was in May, and she took 7 inches off; stupid me saying I didn’t want to lose much length, but take off what you need to make it healthy. Before that, it had probably been damn near 2 years since my last trim. Although it makes no sense, the fear is there… (here’s my hair in a side braid; I wear it like this a lot, simply because it’s easy).
  • Deviant Wench wrote a post the other day (check it out here) that rocked me. It could have, literally, been my words. Fuck, I wish they were my words, as they are my thoughts. See, I still write M a poem every (most) Wednesdays, as part of our rules and obligations. Two Wednesdays ago, this is what he got, my fumbled mess of incoherent fragments of thoughts, riddled with the fear that my desires would be rejected. My fear of this rejections makes it next to impossible to simply ask… (Please excuse the text speak, but it was written on my phone).

 In Lieu of poetry, a request…  Sir Daddy… why it continues to be hard for me to talk to u about my submission, I don’t understand. But I’m struggling, with both it and myself. I’m not where I want it to be. I want to be better, for both u and myself. I wish I could do it on my own, but it continues to slip through my fingers. I feel @ a loss. I would like to discuss this, although I don’t know how. I do not want to put press on u, as my Sir or my husband, but I don’t know what to do. I want to…*sigh* I don’t know how to explain where I want to be… I want to be everything I can for u, the best I can be and I feel as though I’m failing… I want to serve u, in so many ways. I want to be what u want. I want to make u know how much u mean to me in every aspect. I want… idk.

  •  Within the last week, I have received two emails from strangers about LSAM. One, a request to know more about how to squirt. The other, just a quick note to say that they loved the blog. Neither person, as far as I know, is a blogger. I was honored and flattered by this, as, off hand, I have never received personal emails from someone who I didn’t already know from the blog.
  • I am very (VERY) interested in adding some electo play into our bedroom. There is this Fetish Fantasy shock therapy travel kitkit from Eden Fantasys that I have wanted for so long. I can’t really say what it is that has me intrigued by shock therapy, but just the idea of it gets my girlie parts tingling. If any of you out there have played in shock play, let me know what you think about it.
  • I have probably orgasmed about 30 times in the last 24 hours. Lucky me. *wink*
  • I have been spending most of me free time reading about writing, procrastinating on rewriting my novel. I justify it in my head, convinced that I am improving my skills by reading, when if fact you must write to become a better writer. But the task of moving from first draft is overwhelming and frightening.
  • I’m also working on a contemplation of erotic short stories and a new non-fiction book, called Diary of a Bad Mom. And by “working on” I mean procrastinating by thinking about writing an outline instead of actually just putting words on paper.
  • This makes 9, and I think I’m going to wrap it up with this one, as I’m sure you are tired of reading random shit. I am ashamed to not have mentioned earlier, like at the beginning of the year, that I was privileged to be named as one of the Top 100 Sex Bloggers by Rori at 2012 top blogger buttonBetween My Sheets. While I’m supposed to add the list, I’m sure most of you have seen it, but if not, check it out here. If you are not a sex blogger, you may not understand what a big deal this is. Before I started LSAM, this was the list that I looked to for direction. And now I’m on it. Flattered is perhaps the closest word I can use to describe the feeling.

All the rewards require them to be passed on. But I’m so out of the loop it’s ridiculous. So, I’m passing on the Gargie Award to all of you that have been with me since damn near the beginning. *hugs and kisses* to you all. Mwah! I am so glad to have found this blogging community, more so than words could say.

  • Hy : Dear, you rock. Always. And you’re beautiful.
  • Fatal : Love, you speak with honesty and elegance. And what more could anyone ask for as a reader.
  • CC : A writer at heart, your creativity inspires me. Always. Don’t doubt yourself my dear. You are lovly.
  • HH and Lo : You guys already know your hot, so there’s not much more to say.
  • Jake : I don’t know if you know this, but it is often your blog that I go to when I’m looking for BDSM information or have questions about the dynamic. Thank you for your honest portrayl of what D/s is like in real life.
  • Theo : *hugs* I’m so glad you are writing again. It makes me happy.
  • Snarky Snatch : Words can not express how glad I am that you are back up and running. And let me tell you, M is one of the most sarcastic people I have ever met, and you have impressed him with your wit. That, my dear, is a feat.
  • Catherine Bowman : A wonderful writer, I wish I had your motivation! And fyi, I’ve started the book you sent me, so expect a review soon! *hugs and kisses* friend!
  • Marian : You are lovely my dear. And hot (just in case you were wondering).
  • Little Miss : Darling, you have grown so much in the last year, it’s absolutely inspiring!

And then, to those that I have met the last six months, when I have been an absent presence here on WP, only showing myself occasionally, I pass on the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. As it is you that motivate me to continue and inspire me that there are still people out there reading. Thank you.

  • Mark Davis : If you don’t follow Mark, you need to. His words and photos are hot. Very, very hot.
  • Mari Mar : A girl after my own heart. Mari’s devotion and dedication to her Sir are present in every word she writes.
  • Kayla Lords : Kayla’s words are brutally honest and real, just as she is. And her pictures are pretty nice too. *smiles*

I’m sure there are many of you that I have missed, and for that I apologize. And if you’ve made it this far, and read all 3000 words of randomness, thank you. You fucking rock. Have a good night all, and keep on cumming.

And a great song by the Lumineers….

24 responses to “It’s Not an Oscar…

  1. Can’t wait to read some of your stories. You’re an amazing writer! XOXO

  2. Thank you for the Gargie nomination, LSAM! And congrats to you on all the awards you’ve won yourself!

  3. I’m so glad to see you around. Congrats on all your well deserved awards, and thank you for your kind words about my writing. I’m so glad I know where to find you if I can’t find you here. <3

    Ps: good luck on your book writing. Definitely understand the procrastination issues. 🙂

  4. Well deserved…every last one of them and way better than an Oscar! I love your blog 🙂

  5. Thank you, darling. Very nice to have you back! And, just fyi, I don’t know that I’m hot. I’m just lucky.

  6. Thank you for the shout-out, sweetie!! I’m just tickled that something I wrote can actually help somebody else. 🙂

    (I’m also starting a book, recommended by Janet Hardy, called “Conquer Me,” that is supposed to deal with all these types of issues. Will probably post on that when I finish it!)

    And for electro-stim—girl, I’m all for it. I have a couple posts dealing with it–if you haven’t seen them, they’re here:

    and here:

    And Mistress Aemilia at Velvet Thoughts has some good info electric play:

    Have fun, and we will all look forward to the review. 😉

    • Thanks Wench. Read your posts the other day (stupid phone wouldn’t upload my comments), fantastic read! Had me laughing and aroused all at the same time. As soon as life settles down, I’m pretty damn sure I’m going to buy that electro set. *hugs and kisses*

  7. I’ve been missing you! That would be really great to share several bottles of wine on the couch. 3 might be enough…maybe! Didn’t we all used to be scheming for a Sexy Blogger Convention? Wr could do it in Cleveland with Snarky!!! In a hotel that has a long chain of connected rooms. Like a train! COOL! If we all think about this at the same time…it could happen!


  8. All very much deserved, even if your presence has been a bit sparse. Your blog still remains here, a testament to where you have been and where you are going. And of course, I thank you for the shout out, my darling. I must pose you the same question.

    Such fun facts! Sir is also interested in electric play, me… I may have to be coaxed into it–although if it played into medi-fetish… perhaps. Story about six-year-old is adorable and laugh-out-loud funny. <3


  9. Hey ho! (love that song!)

    my first time (yes, I’m a LSAM more!)…here. I’m trying to spend time every week looking at new blogs that I’ve not read before…and here I am and here you are! I’ve not gone through your archives, but judging by this post? It’s going to be a fun read! Love the story about your dau/Sir. 🙂

    I’m not in a 24/7 relationship, it’s semi-LDR (we get to see one another for a bit of face time every few weeks…playtime is less regular than that)…so it is always interesting for me to see the dynamic at work.

    Congrats on your awards!


  10. Aw, I love you, too, LSAM. And I miss you like crazy!! I’ll be emailing you very soon, actually. I’ve been meaning to for a few weeks now. I am so so so so so SO glad you’re still around 🙂 xx Hy

  11. Congratulations on your awards, you are very deserving!

  12. Pingback: Shame on Us, Ladies: 2013 Sex Survey | Love Sex and Marriage

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