I’m His Slut, Not Yours: A Pissed Off Rant

Just bitching. You’ve been warned.

So… I’ve recently become more active on social media. I’ve used my @lsmblogger on Twitter off and on, but I haven’t touched the LSAM Facebook page in years. **Sorry for the shameless plug**

Well, let me say this whole Facebook thing is a god-damned joke. Or maybe it’s just that men are nuts. Or have ridiculously huge balls.

Within the month or so that I’ve been using fb, I have received an absurd amount of private messages. Weird, creepy, and sometimes indecent private messages.

Things like:

  • Do you wear diapers?
  • Do I need to lick your butt?
  • I think it like you baby. You so sexy.
  • Searching sex
  • And a full blown, at least 700 word, erotica story, with a “That should get you ‘WET'” at the end.

Now, as far as what people prefer, I could give a shit, as long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual, and I’m not going to judge you if you like your women in dirty diapers just like I like mine in leather and chains. **That’s a lie. I’m so judging you.**

But what kind of right do your kinks give you that makes you think it’s okay to reach out to a stranger, and say whatever the fuck comes to mind?

And does that ever work for you? Because really. Come the fuck on.

Part of me gets it. I talk about sex. I admit to the fact that I like to get off. My profile pic is me in a pair of panties with wool above the knee socks.

So that means I must be a whore. A slut. Right?

slut

David Sim/Flickr

Well, you know what?

I am.

His whore. His slut.

His.

And only His.

And if you’d take a moment and look around, maybe check out something I’ve shared or read a fucking meme I’ve posted, you’d know that. But no. You just see a chick who likes sex and decide to toss your hook on the improbable chance I’d bite.

What is it about Facebook? I use Twitter. Instagram. I’ve been on numerous dating sites like AFF and OKC and I’ve never had to deal with such a plethora of fucking idiots.

Yes, I like sex. I talk about the things that turn me on. I write about things I find arousing.

And that, my friends, seems to be misinterpreted as I’m easy. Free. Available to anyone who wants a piece.

And why is that? Why does sex positive translate to people as slut? Why does the admittance of enjoying a good fuck mean that you’ll fuck anything? Because, as it is, even if I was into casual sex, I wouldn’t touch you with a 10 foot fucking pole. Because obviously you’re a douche.

And I’m not alone on this, of that I’m sure. I’m sure these trolls hit on everything and anything.

Caitlyn McConnell

Caitlyn McConnell

And it’s weird, because I run a fucking sex blog and have rarely had to deal with this kind of shit.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just sending the wrong message.

But the way I figure is that unless my status says, “message me because I want to fuck someone who doesn’t know how to have a conversation or respect anything,” it’s never appropriate to start off with that.

*shaking my head*

Stupid, fucking, asshole people.

So, if you’ve messaged on Facebook, whether creepy or not, and I didn’t respond, this is why. I don’t even look at my messages anymore. It just pisses me off.

15 responses to “I’m His Slut, Not Yours: A Pissed Off Rant

  1. I suspect it is the generalised modern version of the ‘cast your bait widely’ approach. They are too dumb to succeed with the more conventional in-person approach or the more modern online dating, so trawl the bottom of the barrel. They take the view that their advertising works 1% of the time, so don’t worry about the 99% of failures. After all, these people have been seen to breed. Frequently!

    And, I suspect, your use of three syllable words, proper grammar and accurate punctuation is a real turn on for them. It is for me:-)

    • You’re absolutely right. Any woman who says hello, they’ll hit on, just in case of the odd chance she says, “Yes, I happen to wear diapers everyday and want to have pointless Facebook messenger sex with you, a squirrely man I’ve never met…”
      And you’ve busted my secret of three syllable words and punctuation…
      I miss you, Nick. Expect a long overdue email from me soon, dear friend.
      *hugs and kisses*

  2. I believe you get assholes because assholes are the ones who don’t have a clear and healthy idea of human sexuality. These crustacean cretins “think” as you’ve described. They’re the fools who have Madonna Whore complexes and shameful hard ons at “bad” women and all of that ignorance that gets in the way of basic and honorable respect for others AND respect for sex. That would make their head explode. (I wish) I won’t even get started.

    • Very true, Jayne, very true. I believe you’re right, and they objectify women, especially those that embrace their sexuality, and turn them into objects instead of people. Fucking asshole douche bags (or butt asses as my 4 year old started saying today).
      Their damn heads should explode! I’d like to watch.
      xoxo

  3. Hell yeah! Thank you for writing this!
    Hell, I keep my FB very tame, completely disconnected from my blog world, visible only to my friends, my profile picture is a simple head shot of me smiling… and I still get that!
    Not in the creepy “Me want sex” way, it’s a little more subtle than that. But still, men I don’t know, who live far away and don’t even speak my language… who want to connect. A tame one is “What a nice profile, you look so beautiful and attractive. Cheers”. Slightly more creepy “Just found you while searching and it take an immense interest to send you this message ..You look beautiful on your profile picture .. May God bless you with your good Look! Can we be a good friends?” (really? Can’t you keep God out of your f**king message?). A bit more creepy… “Would you like to get some extra cash on the side? This is an activity that has to do with health and wellness. I can explain how.” Couldn’t he write if you want to become a parlor masseuse, please contact me? Ugh!

    I have a few more, some whose profile is under investigation by FB…
    So I can relate!
    I agree with Nick, it’s a bit pitiful, but apparently, a few women fall for it, and that’s enough for these men!

    Don’t let it drag you down! You’re a wonderful sl… hum, woman! 😉

  4. I’m always amazed when I get see more obnoxious behaviour on “vanilla” dating sites or forums like Instagram than I get on Fetlife or AFF. I’ve generally felt more respected on Fetlife (although of course there are always exceptions!).

    I’ve talked to Hy about this as well – it seems some men think because we put ourselves out there as sexual creatures it gives them license to see only sex. Sigh.

    • I tried FetLife, and the first person who friended me sent me a picture of him shitting. Because of that, I’ve never given it a second chance.
      And the sexual creature thing was kind of my point, although I think I may have ranted and not ever actually gotten there. Why does the fact I like sex, and am willing to admit it, make people automatically assume I’m easy? Why isn’t sex allowed to be enjoyable? When the fuck is that going to change?

  5. I don’t get it on Facebook (though the use of my page is minimal at best), but fetlife brings it in droves. I ignore a lot because I can’t claim a significant other to block so of the advances. Well, I could, but that would stuff the ones I’d actually like to message from doing so. Perils of online.

  6. “Sluts,” “whores,” “cum-buckets,” “hotwives,” and “nymphos” – all of these (self-appellations) are still HUMANS and therefore are endowed with dignity and deserve respect. If one chooses to consent to being treated in “play” somehow else, there first has to be the moment of consent.

  7. Pingback: All Over the Place with Caitlyn McConnell: March 13th - Love Sex and Marriage

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