So if you are a regular reader, whether friend or lurker *love ya both*, you may be patiently waiting to find out what happened with my date over the weekend. I apologize for taking so long to write this, but after reading I hope you understand.
I woke up Saturday morning with a hangover and a horrible case of nervous butterflies. I felt like a teenager not knowing what to expect. At 10 am, I got my first text of the day from Paige: “T -10 hours” (isn’t she cute!), and the countdown continued every few hours through the day.
By 3 o’clock, I had shaved, lotioned, ironed my hair and was unable to find anything to keep my hands busy. By 6, I had done my make-up and dressed, practically bouncing up and down on the couch, watching the clock tick slowly by.
I left early to run through the car wash, and then got on the road. We live about 50 miles away from one another, so we decided to meet halfway, at a microbrewery in a small college town (fan-fucking-tastic beer, by the way).
The place was packed, and we had over an hour before we could get a table. We ordered beers and went to wait on the outside patio (thank the gods this was the first real warm day of spring and even in the late evening, it was perfectly comfortable). I was ridiculously shy, shyer than I think I’ve ever been. I joked about it, but Paige was witty and talkative, and did an excellent job at keeping the conversation moving.
She talked about a Dom she’s been seeing, asked about M’s and my dynamic. We talked about work, books, hobbies, and fucking while our knees rested against each other’s under the table. By the time the first beer was gone, we were laughing like old friends.
She encouraged me to try mussels, an explosion of flavor that made my eyes close as I savored the experience. I attempted to explain different types of nipple clamps, showing the pictures from my nipple torture post. She thought M’s cock was rather delicious looking.
By the time we left the brewery to head home (she had a long day at work on Sunday) I was giddy.
Paige walked me to my car and I drove her to hers. We talked a bit more. I became shy again. She teased me about it. I leaned back against the headrest, and smiled at her. She told me I was beautiful. When our lips met, we both reached for each other, our fingers playing on the other’s necks.
I think I started giggling maybe. “Damn you, having to work tomorrow,” I said, pulling our entwined fingers to my lips, placing small kisses across her knuckles, lightly sucking the tip of her thumb into my mouth. We talked a few more minutes, but time was ticking away, both of us facing a long drive home. We kissed again, this time a little longer, more comfortable.
I smiled the whole way home.
The date was fantastic; honestly, it couldn’t have been better. We clicked just as well in person as we did through emails and texts. I was excited, ecstatic really; we had a great time, good food and drinks, and a first kiss that made my heart pitter-patter.
But now… Well, now M has come to realize that he’s not as comfortable as he thought he was going to be with the situation. He doesn’t want to share me. Doesn’t think he can share me.
And it makes me sad. For so many reasons. I really like Paige. And I’m pretty damn sure she likes me too. And although we’d only been on one date, we’ve talked daily for a few weeks. For both of us, we were able to talk to each other about things we don’t share with others in our real life. Her: relationship issues she’s struggling with, past lovers, kinky sex. Me: my dynamic with M, power exchange, kinky sex. We filled a need for each other that neither of us knew we needed.
We fell for one another.
So today, when I sent her a text saying I needed to talk to her, I had to tell this beautiful girl I’m hugely crushing on, that I can’t see her again. I cried. She cried. Fuck, I’m crying now.
Although hurt, she understands. She said to me, “I don’t want to lose you. If we can’t be intimate, I don’t care. But I’m not giving up being your friend.” I don’t know if we can make that work, but I’m hoping…
*sigh* So, dear friends… this is my unfortunate tale of a fantastic first date that lead to me getting my heartbroke. And please don’t think too badly of M… He tried, that is all I can ask. Afterall, he is my husband, and my Sir, so it is his right and responsibility to say if it’s not okay.
*hugs and kisses*