Love Sex and Marriage

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bdsm

From good information to kinky how tos, anything BDSM related can be found here.

In Response to Mr. X

A few weeks ago, I received a blog comment from Mr. X from The Male POV. The post was discussing my obligations as a sub to M and Mr. X responded as follows:

The psychology involved in this kind of relationship may not be helpful in the long term. For example, it feels like M is making up for something he feels he lacks (Masculinity, Power, Purpose, Regret, Anger etc.) by being the Dom. Whilst on the other hand, you feeling guilt and will sacrifice any power you may once have had to make up for this feeling of guilt, regrets or mistakes that may have occurred. Imagination is so powerful, the sub-concious mind does not know what is real and unreal.

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Rules and Obligations: Part 2 or What My Sir Does For Me

Bondage

Bondage (Photo credit: redspotted)

Miss Jayne Ayres commented on my last post, which detailed some of the rules of my submission, asking what M’s obligations are to me and what rules He upholds in our dynamic. I must admit, the question had me intrigued, as I’d never truly thought about it.

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Rules and Obligations

English: Picture of User:Lady Byron wearing a ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As many of you may know, over the past four to five months, M has become my Sir. And while I’ve shared many of the ups and downs of us embracing our dynamic, as well as some of the fantastic sex, I haven’t really touched on any of the behind the scene things.

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The Desire to Please

Have sex work less

 (Photo credit: kaysha)

So…  There is so much I would like to say that I can’t seem to verbalize.  I have feelings of elation and love, yet heartache, but I sit here with my fingers on the keyboard and they refuse to move.  So… I’m going to do what I do best, and turn it straight to sex…

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Sub-Space in Relation to Drug Use…

So, keep in mind as you read this, that I have no idea how true any of it is.  I am very educated in drug use and addiction (from textbooks, professional trainings, and straws and mirrors), so that stuff is all legit, but the other, well, someday soon I’ll research it, but just don’t have the time tonight and this was on my mind.  Deal with it.  Or don’t.

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From Psychology Today: A Loving Introduction to BDSM

Good morning, ya’ll, and Happy Father’s Day to all you dad’s out there.  I came across this article in Psychology Today, and thought I’d pass it on.  It’s nothing new, to those of you that practice or have researched BDSM, but it’s just nice to know that there is some real information being put out there by professionals that don’t make us out to be sick little perverts…  Opps… wait a sec…  Maybe we are all litte perverts!  Hehe.  You know what I mean.  *hugs and kisses* everyone.  Enjoy your day!~LSAM

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Unexpected Benefits of a D/s Relationship

Image of S/M sexuality

Image of S/M sexuality (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Over the weekend, I was doing some back reading, still catching up on blog posts that I haven’t had time to get to.  I was over at Leather Cuffs and Silken Bonds and reading this post by Jake, and it got me thinking.  I’ve talked about this briefly, here and there, since the big blow out with M occurred over six weeks ago, but I don’t think I’ve really discussed it in detail, or really explained what I meant by it.

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A BDSM Blacklist

Basic monochrome version of BDSM triadic symbo...

Basic monochrome version of BDSM triadic symbol. Somewhat similar to Quagmyr’s BDSM Emblem (but different enough to be free from the copyright restrictions which Quagmyr claims on certain specified versions of the Triskelion symbol). Of course, the Triskelion ultimately comes from the description of the Roissy triskelion ring in the “Histoire d’O” by Pauline Réage (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just a quick link for anyone who is a member of Fetlife, or anything similar, or interested in kink social sites in general.  This was the headline on my morning Salon.com newsfeed.  I figured I’d pass it on.  I hate coming across things like this, perpetrators using BDSM as a front, because, as you all know, BDSM requires trust, communication, and respect.  Without these, we are all in a mess of trouble.  And fuck, it the vanilla world, so many of them already think we are all just abusers and victims.  This sort of shit does not help.

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Sometimes I’m a Brat

Image of S/M sexuality

Image of S/M sexuality (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t really want to be, but sometimes it just comes out of me.  Being new to the whole BDSM thing, especially as a mainstay in our lifestyle, is pretty damn interesting, to say the least. And the first month has been fucking fantastic.  But damn.  Sometimes this shit just pours out of my mouth, well before it hits my brain.  As soon as I hear myself say it, I’m like, “Wtf LSAM!  Are you even thinking?”  And most of the time it’s stupid shit.  Dumb, bratty shit.

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Responsibilities of a Submissive (Stolen)

la dame sans merci VIII

la dame sans merci VIII (Photo credit: sweethell)

I’ve stumbled upon this a few times now, and although I have a few posts started, nothing is ready tonight.  And, being since it is Sunday and hence, stealing is allowed, I thought why not pass it on.  From what I could find, the original author is unknown.  The italics are my additional thoughts on the matter, just because I felt like chirping in.

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BDSM: Why You’re Getting it All Wrong

BDSM: Why You’re Getting it All Wrong.

An absolutely excellent read. Anyone practicing BDSM, or even interested in it, should check this out. A Firm Grip is one of my favorite blogs I just started following.

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Crazy Bitch

Dearest readers…  Sometimes I’m a crazy bitch.  Sometimes I’m dumb as fuck.  That’s how I feel this morning, as I sit here at 5 am with a cup of coffee and an 18th month old by my side.  If you read my last post, you know I fucked up bad.  Most likely, you don’t know the details, as I didn’t share them,  for multiple reasons, but mostly to not make M go through the violation of trust again, having to read it on the dumb fucking computer screen…

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Karma’s a Bitch: On Becoming Submissive

Good morning my dear readers…

Image of sado-masochism

Image of sado-masochism (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As many of you may know, I have been struggling sometime with the power dynamic in my relationship with M (this can be seen in multiple back posts including here and here and here).  I could never find the way to verbalize what I wanted to M, in a way that made me still feel submissive.  After all, if I ask him to pin me down and fuck me, spank me until my ass is candy apple red, or fuck my face like I’m a dirty slut…  well, that’s not very submissive.  That’s not letting him take the reins and steer the relationship to where he wants it to go.  It’s not letting him dominate a fucking thing.  If I would ask for these things, it’s just me, still in control, pretending to be submissive.  Kind of fucks with the whole idea.  It does not set up the dynamic I was seeking, the power exchange between a man and a woman.  A true D/s relationship.  It would all be role play, me topping from the bottom.  idk.  It just wasn’t right.

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Follow Up on BDSM Question…

So, the lovely Catherine Bowman recently commented on my BDSM Question post that was written just under a month ago, and as I started to respond, I thought maybe I should just post this…  Looking back, I find it amazing how much one can learn in a month.

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BDSM Question

Painting of S/M sexuality

Image via Wikipedia

Okay.  I know LSAM isn’t really a question and answer blog, but I can’t help it.  I’ve got a question, or perhaps need clarification, and you, dear readers and friends, are the only ones I know to ask.

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