When I’m gone from you, away somewhere else, it’s like my mind can’t think of anything but you.
The sight of you, shirt off, working in the yard, the sun shinning on your bronzed skin, fixates in my head and distracts me from what I should be doing. I think of the feel of your hands, wrapped around my waist as you lift me for a welcome home kiss. I’m overwhelmed by memories of the smell of your skin as I nuzzle against you and drift off to sleep.
My mind tried to cry itself to sleep tonight, and the tears burned my eyes unexpectedly. Now, I sit and punch out cathartic words I wish you wouldn’t see.
Tears come so sparingly to me any more that I almost forgot what it felt like to weep, truly weep and let the tears flood over me, washing away the things that can never be.
On Friday, I celebrated yet another birthday, my 34th. And as I hate to see November go by without a post here on LSAM, you’re going to be subjected to 34 pieces of utter randomness.
Sorry for your luck.
As much as I love sex, sometimes I find my body and head are not aligned. I know I need it, the release, the endorphins, the oxytocin. I know I will feel better and it will help me sleep. I know how good it will feel and that I’ll end up a withering mess in a puddle.
The most prominent memories of my childhood involve summer parties. Some at home, many at my parents’ friends. Once in awhile I’ll drive by a house, and I’ll remember a party, but I don’t have any clue who lived there.
Warning: I’m going to try not to be too ranty here.
I like sex. A lot. I like all that it entails. I like the foreplay. Penetration. I like it vanilla and I like it kinky. I like when it lasts all night and I like it when it lasts 5 minutes.
There are a few different reasons that I’m compelled to write this post… First and foremost, now that the drama of my first date with Paige has faded, I’ve come to realize a few thing that I really fucked up. *deep breath* Therefore I’ve got to hold myself accountable for that. And then second, I need to stand up for my Sir, not that he really needs me to, but I feel the need to defend his right to do what he did, and why, had he not, things could have ended up so much worse.
So if you are a regular reader, whether friend or lurker *love ya both*, you may be patiently waiting to find out what happened with my date over the weekend. I apologize for taking so long to write this, but after reading I hope you understand.
So, I just started reading this new piece of erotica, where the primary relationship is girl/girl. And it got me thinking about how different it is to be with a girl than a guy. It’s been years, a lot of years, since I’ve been with a girl, but in reading this, flashbacks of warm soft skin, musky scents, and all night love-making are vivid in my mind.
Alright. So, I think I’m probably going to piss some people off today. But I’m okay with it. Shit happens. And this is a bit fragmented. And ranty. I tried to pull it all together, but I’m not sure I actually did. Deal with it.
I have come to believe that I have some “nontraditional” views on monogamy. I’ve mentioned things here and there throughout lovesexandmarriage, but I’ve decided to put it all down in one spot. It came across my mind the other day when I was talking to a woman I know about her marriage. She and her husband are in a bad place. They’ve been married for six and a half years, and things are worse now then they’ve ever been. There’s a lot of trust issues going on. She said something along the lines that if she knew marriage was going to be this hard, she never would have done it. I commented, without even thinking, “It’s because it’s not natural.” She looked at me questioningly, “What do you mean?”
So… It’s Valentine’s Day. And I didn’t get laid. I just thought that you’d like to know that I didn’t get any. I’m hoping most of you did. But this isn’t a “poor me” post. It’s about you guys. And I’m sorry. I’m tired. I’m sick. And at this point in the night, my creative juices are lacking. And I’ve been thinking about this since my experiment yesterday, so I thought I’d bring it up.