Category Archives: memes

From Stealing Sunday to TMI Tuesday, and everything in between.

A Spanking Meme

English: Lazy room maid after spanking - publi...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Preface:  No proofreading.  At all.  Sorry in advance.  *hugs and kisses* *licks and smacks*~LSAM


Come on, who wouldn’t love a spanking meme!?!  I stole this from Bella at DD and D/s.  I just couldn’t help myself.  🙂 Continue Reading

It’s Only a Meme: Stealing Sunday…

Hey y’all.  It’s Sunday, and, let me tell you, it has been a beautiful weekend in LSAM world.  M and I had a three days off together, and it was just enough alone time and family time.  A night in a cheap hotel, a day at the beach.  Fuck, life is good.  Anyway, I’ve got a lot of “off-blog” writing going on right now, and my creative brain is a bit fried, as I’ve already put out well-over 1000 words today, plus research, and blah blah blah.  The point of all that was to apologize for simply doing a meme.  Sometimes I hate memes.  I think they are a waste of readers time, because, really, unless you puking in my toilet, you probably don’t give a rat’s ass the last time I cleaned it.  But, alas, here I go, because I still have other writing to do, but LSAM was calling to me… Continue Reading

Meme: It’s Just a Fantasy

Creative juices aren’t flowing, so I figured I’d throw a meme at ya.  And it has sexy pictures, so I figured nobody objects to eye candy.  I particularly like the three girls kissing and the guy blindfolded.  Damn.  Short intro tonight, people.  I’m getting distracted! Continue Reading

TMI — Masturbation!!

1. How often do you masturbate?

  • Normally, when I’m not homeless, I masturbate daily, at least once.  Sometimes five or six times.  Now that I’m living back with my pops, it’s WAY less…  And, truly, M has been fucking the shit out of me since I’ve fucked up, and we screwed at least once a day for over two weeks…  Interestingly, I just realized, I’ve only masturbated once during that time, unless he was watching me.  Does it count if he’s watching me, or is that considered foreplay?

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month?

  • Well, I didn’t have anything planned.  But I did just buy my first glass dildo, so perhaps I should have an all night masturbation party…  Just me, my glass piece, my wand, and some lube.  Hmmm…  That sounds like fun.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate? a. Yes, it turns me on. b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused. c. Not really, it’s boring. d. No, it’s a turn off. e. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to. Continue Reading

Stolen Sins and Shared Information

After the intensity of yesterday’s I’m not a feminist, I needed something easy.  Thoughtless.  And,


Lust (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

as my blogging sweetie, Gillian Colbert, always tends to steal from me, I decided to return the favor, and steal this simple little meme.  Also, as I’ve not been writing as much as I’d like, I’ve got a handful of links and shit that I’d like to share with you, my kinky reader… Continue Reading

Stealing Sex Questions…

 All right ya’all.  Real quick intro here.  I’m tired.  And the stupid steroids keep giving me a headache.  So, no Sundaystealing today, as it was about TV and I don’t really watch TV.  Last time I actually sat down with television in mind, unless it involved a MMF or a guy stroking his cock, was the Superbowl.  Before that, I couldn’t even tell you.  Anyway…  I found this a few weeks ago and completed it tonight.  I’m not proofreading.  Deal with it.  Today is my 3 month anniversary.  That means I get to do what I want!  🙂  Thanks for reading, everyone.  It means a lot.  **hugs and kisses** ~ LSAM.

Sexual questions

There are many questions related to your partner’s sex life that you could ask them. Answers to some of these questions can provide an insight into your partner’s personality. You can also know what you have in common and where you differ in sex. These questions aren’t meant to be asked one after the other in a rapidfire manner. That would intimidate anyone! Rather, try to get answers to these over a period of time. Some of these questions are open ended and can shed light on your partner’s sexual habits and preferences, thereby improving your love life in the long run.

1) Have you ever fantasised about a person of the same sex?

  • Yes.  And there have been times in my life when it is more prevalent than others.  Lately, if I’m thinking of sex with another woman, M is always right there in the middle of that fantasy.  Stupid fucking March, screwing up my birthday plans…

2) Have you ever had sex with someone of the same gender or indulged in kissing/fondling?

  • Yes.  I’ve had sex with women.

3) Do you find yourself attracted to people of the same sex sometimes?

  • Jesus fucking christ people!  How many times are you going to keep asking the same basic question?  Yes, I am attracted to women.  They are beautiful.  All curvy with soft lines…  mmmm….

4) Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases?

  • I have HPV.  Even though I was in the clinical study for Gardasil.  But ended up with the stupid thing anyway (and a quick little PSA **HPV is everywhere.  They say that over 82% of sexually active people carry it, although most will never test positive or have any symptoms…  just keep spreading it.  For the study I was in, if you had more than 5 sexual partners, you were disqualified and not allowed into the study…  Because they figure that was the magic number, if it was more than 5, most likely you were already infected)**.
  • I’ve also had Chlamydia.  Tested negative for it twice, while infected, again, with no symptoms.  Probably would have never know if I had not had back to back pregnancies, which fucked up my immune system.  1 in 4 men will never show symptoms.  And in women, it’s even worse.  Only 30% show any signs.

5) Have you ever had unprotected sex? When? With whom?

  • Fuck yes.  When, since I’ve started having sex.  No, there was definitely a condom the first time.  But I did have unprotected sex, eventually, with the first boy I fucked.  With whom?  With every single guy that I’ve fucked.  That’s bothersome…

6) Do you have any fetishes – including foot fetishes, sadism and masochism etc?

  • Yes.  More kinks then fetishes.  But some of my kinks are developing and becoming more
    Erotic image

    Erotic image (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    prevalent…  The one that is closest to “fetish”…  D/s, in any form, whether it is being spanked or having my hair pulled or a hand around my neck or saying nasty things to me me or…  You get the picture.  I notice these things become more and more the regular in my sex life instead of the occasional…  And, believe me, I’m not complaining.  It just makes me wonder if I’ll ever be okay with vanilla sex again…  Fuck, I hope not!

7) How important is sex to you?

  • Sex is very important to me.  I’m hyper-sexual.  Think about it all day.  Marked myself with it.  I have recently been told, by more than one person (what the fuck?) that I define myself by sex.  I tried to deny this, to both these people, and to myself, but am starting to see that it may be true.  Needless to say, sex is a big deal.  It’s a deal breaker for me, too.  If you can’t get me off, if you refuse me too many times, I’m out.  Sorry.  It is what it is.  Sex, to me, is the backbone of a healthy relationship.

8) How important do you think fidelity is, in a relationship?

  • Completely depends on the relationship.  I think fidelity is unnatural, but that it serves a purpose.  To me, fidelity is not the issue, honesty is.  If there is honesty, from all parties, then fidelity can fucking suck a big one.

9) How would you react if you found out your partner were disloyal to you?

  • I would be willing to work through it.  How would I react, probably badly.  I have a tendency to do that.  But if it was just sex, what the fuck, I could handle that.  If it was “relationship status” well, then my fucking ego would be involved and that’s a whole different ballgame, because sometimes that beast runs wild.

10) How old were you when you first kissed?

  • With tongue?  12, maybe 13.

11) Are you a virgin? If not, how old were you when you lost your virginity?

  • 14

12) Who did you lose your virginity to? What was the experience like?

  • A boy.  Brian was his name.  It was…  awkward.

13) Which are the three people of the opposite sex you consider the most attractive?

  • My hubby.
  • My old roommate.  Not only was he cute as hell, but he and I, we had too many 5 am philosophy discussions, too many shots to you puke nights, too many “there for each other” moments…  Damn, I really wish I would have fucked him when I had the chance…
  • And, really, I don’t even know.  This isn’t a cop-out.  It’s true.  Because, attractiveness, it has so many things wrapped up in it.  It’s not just looks.  It’s attitude.  It’s intelligence.  It’s chest and ass.

14) Have you ever been forced into having sex?

  • Yes.

15) How many sexual partners have you had to date?

  • Actual, by definition, cock in cunt sex…  5 boys.  3 girls.

16) Have you ever used sex toys?

  • Who the fuck are you kidding?  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.

17) Do you masturbate? How often?

Erected penis

Erected penis (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Normally, when I have a place to call my own, just about everyday.  Sometimes more than once a day.  Depending on what’s going on…  How horny I am, how stressed, etc.  But, fuck, I haven’t masturbated in almost two weeks…  No wonder I’m so off kilter with myself lately!  I need to fucking rub one down…

18) Have you ever forced yourself sexually on a person?

  • Not physically.  But yes.

19) Have you ever had sex with a person significantly older or younger than yourself?

  • Nope.  Older, would be probably be 3 years.  Younger, 1 year.  All right around my age…

20) Describe a sexual fantasy you would like to fulfill someday.

21) Have you ever had a one-night-stand?

  • One night, no…  But I’ve had a weekend thing.

22) Have you ever had sex with someone related to you?

  • No.  But I was once propositioned by my second cousin, when I was like 14.  To the point that he had me in the backseat of his car crying.

23) Have you ever picked up someone from a singles bar?

  • A single’s bar?  No.  But a regular bar.  Yes.

24) Have you ever had phone sex?

  • Yes.  But I don’t really like talking on the phone, so this presents some difficulties.  I like to send sexy texts and dirty pics though.  Does that count?

25) Do you browse porn on the internet or on television?

  • Fuck yes.  I love porn.  Don’t know where I’d be without it.

26) Which are the three people of the same sex you consider the most attractive?

  • Again, I don’t really know…  Charlize Theron.  I think she is absolutely gorgeous.
  • Other than that, I don’t have specific things/people I find attractive.  Looking back, the girls I have been attracted to, they are all different, in so many ways.

27) Have you ever paid for sex?

  • No.

28) Have you ever been paid for sex?

  • No…  But I did just give M some road head the other day because he was getting me a new phone.  I probably would have still gotten the phone, regardless of the head, but would it have felt so special?  I don’t know.  😉
  • And the cousin, mentioned above, during that same debacle, he did eventually offer me money to fuck him.  I, of course, still refused.  Man, you are my fucking cousin!  No damn pun intended.

29) Have you ever provided sexual favors to get anything in return, money or some other benefit?

  • Ha, maybe I should have read on before answering that last question.  I don’t know.  I’m sure I have.  I remember with an old girlfriend, she would hold off my orgasm to force me into things…  Random things.  Information.  I remember one LONG night, we were supposed to be studying for some exam, and she was buried between my legs for hours. And she wouldn’t let me cum unless I could answer quiz questions…  Damn.  I had completely forgotten about that…  Ah, memories…  And I’m pretty sure I Aced the test.

30) If your boss promised you the promotion you were very keen to get but insisted that you spend a weekend with him, pleasing him sexually, would you agree?

  • Ah…  that completely depends on the situation.  And what he’s like.  If he’s likable, lickable, and we had a good “working” relationship, there is definitely a possibility that I’d do it.  With my current boss…  He is so vanilla, he blushes when I say “damn.”  My old boss, yeah, I’m sure I’d have jumped at the chance.

31) Is there anything you would want to change about the way you look through plastic surgery if you had the choice and could afford it?

  • Yes.  A tummy tuck.  I’ve got a lot of stretch marks.  And I’d probably have my boobs done…  Made a bit smaller, but perkier.  Like they used to be.

32) Would you pose nude for playboy if they offered you $1,000,000.

  • Fuck yes.  They could pay me a small percentage of that and I’d probably do it.  Without an issue.  It’s kind of hot to think about.  Men, all over, jacking off to pictures of you.  But it wouldn’t be Playboy, for LSAM.  No, I’m not a Playboy fan.  It would have to be Hustler.  Maybe Penthouse.  But not Playboy.

33) Have you ever been part of a sex orgy?

  • Not officially.  I’ve had…  a few experiences where things could have led down this road, but never really happened.  So no.  Not yet, anyways.

34) Have you ever tied Tantric Sex? Would you like to?

  • Yes.  And yes.  And I’m currently learning more about it.

35) Have you ever cross-dressed?

  • Yes.  One halloween, a few years back, I was dressed as a man.  And no one could figure out who I was, for like an hour (and just so you know, it was fucking hard as hell for me to not talk for an hour).  Until I stood up, and one of my friends was like, “it has to be LSAM…  Look at those tits.”  And I was found out.  That was my last attempt at being a man.

36) Have you ever wondered what it would have been to be born as the opposite sex?

Song of the day…  Guster

TMI, not on Tuesday… Naked, Past, Present, and Future

Ok…  Wordpress is fucking with me…  I can’t seem to get the italics off, even though they aren’t even on, and it’s making my head hurt because I feel as though I’m looking to the side, when I’m not…  Sorry for my little tantrum.  But here we go…  I’m kinda bitchy, dear reader, and not just because of the sideways lettering…  Since Monday, I have had a horrible case of the hives.  And then I had to go get a cortisone shot in my ass…  And then steroids.  Hence the whiny bitchy LSAM.  Even I don’t like me right now.  Fuck.
Anyway, I’ve got a shit ton of work I need to be doing, but instead, I’ve been reading emails, chatting with friends, playing with my new phone, writing a blog post.  So, I decided to say, “Fuck you, LSAM.  It’s time to just post something, get on with the evening.  You have too much work to do to be fucking around all night.”  Which is absolutely true.  So, instead of continuing writing what I was writing, I decided to steal something, just to make it adventurous…  So here we go.  Stealing from TMI Tuesday, from sometimes last year…  Mostly, because I thought the pictures were hot as fuck…

TMI Tuesday: September 6, 2011 Posted on September 5, 2011

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions are brought you by Yummy aka Heelsnstocking and Hedone. Thank you HnS for the theme.


1. What do you wear to sleep in?

Well that depends.  Typically I sleep nude.  But if the kids are having trouble sleeping, and there is the chance that they are going to crawl in bed with us, then I’ll sleep in a tank top and sweat pants.  On the weekends, I normally fall asleep in some sort of stockings and bra or lingerie that I was wearing, because by the time we are done fucking, I’m drunk and exhausted and just pass out…
2. Do you ever walk around your own place naked? Continue Reading

Drunken Debauchery and a Meme

Well people, it is April 8th, and as of today, I am official homeless, but don’t worry, I’ll have a roof over my head, I promise.  The ugly month of March is over, and for that I am grateful.  And, although this adventure is not yet over, it will be soon, one way or another… Continue Reading

One-Hit Wonders

Preface:  This was inspired by the lovely Gillian at Black Door Press…  Although her music ear tends to favor a much broader variety than my own, I still thought I would share…

……………………………………………. Continue Reading

101 Kinky Questions

Lately, I’ve been Sunday Stealing, because… well, because it’s easy.  And I don’t have to think too

hard.  And it’s been a LONG weekend, so much to do, too little sleep, too much chemical assistance…  So this has led me to a new list of questions.  They aren’t from Sunday Stealing, but stolen nonetheless.   And there were 101 of them.  But a few were lame.  I simply left them out. Continue Reading

31 Sexual Favors

I seem to be stealing ideas all over the place lately.  First it was stealing sundays, and then not following the rules with that.  Then, the award memes…  Let’s even talk about that fiasco.  Well, then I was looking for…  fuck, I don’t know what I was looking for.  But I found TMI Tuesdays.  And I know it’s not Tuesday, and really, this is not TMI, at least by my LSAM standards…  But, we’ll see, I could be wrong.  This could completely be bad (as in naughty)… Continue Reading

A Mix-Up of Sunday Stealing…

Okay.  I’m sorry for all the memes.  Because I get it, sometimes they piss me off too.  But you know what…  I haven’t posted since Thursday!  Fucking Thursday!  And even then, it was just a pair of damn shoes.  So, I want to write….  okay, I NEED to write.  For my sanity. Continue Reading

Stealing Sunday: Sexy but Wrong

So, spent most of the weekend packing, looking for houses, drinking and fucking.  Not too bad of a time, if only I could find a place to live!  I wanted to write today, but don’t really seem to have time to come up with much and I’m hoping to get a little kinky later tonight…  And since it’s Sunday, I figured I’d head over to Sunday Stealing, and see what was going on there.  But it was kind of boring, and I’m not in the mood for boring, so I did a little research and came across this one from a few years back.  I figured I’d give it a try.  We’ll see how it goes. Continue Reading

Sharing and Struggling

Sorry.  This isn’t going to be nearly as kinky as it sounds.  I tried.  Really I did.  This is the third post I’ve started tonight, and, really, this one is a fucking cop-out.  But it’s all I can do right now.  I actually considered not posting again, but today is my anniversary after all.  Two months since I’ve watched television.  Two months of 2:30 bedtimes and 6:30 wake ups.  Two months of Continue Reading

Stealing Sunday: Because There is Too Much To Do

Okay, lovely reader.  I’m sorry for so many short, random type posts of late.  But it keeps me active and this is about all that I’ve got time for right now (I can not wait for March to be over!).  So here we go, Stealing Sunday again.  And just so you know, as soon as I find a place to live and get there, I’ve got a ton of, what I hope is, hot sexy reading for you… Continue Reading