Becoming More Comfortable 69ing

For years, I hated 69ing. Too young and too insecure about my body, I was uncomfortable being exposed and having my most private parts on display.

And then I met M.

The visual creature that he is, 69ing was (and still is) one of his favorite ways to pass the time. Oh, I’d comply, straddle myself across over his mouth, but I was always uncomfortable, still too shy to be able to relax with my pussy and ass only inches from his face.

And then came babies. Three of them. And 80 pounds of extra weight that lingered on my body for years too long. With all of that, 69ing again became a taboo act, with me too unhappy with myself to be able to let go and simply enjoy.


But slowly the weight drifted off and my body confidence started to return, along with the acceptance of the signs of aging and life that showed on my body.

And for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the mutual pleasure 69ing gave. I could finally relax and turn myself over to the give and take it created. But still, if I thought too much about it, my ass cheeks spread only inches from his face, my mind would again get in the way.

But not now. Never again. Now I fully understand M’s reassurance that the sight of my pussy and ass above him is arousing. That he enjoys the vision and it’s what makes it one of his favorite things.

Recently, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to 69 with another woman. And with me on my back, her pussy on my lips, I can verify ladies, the image is truly intoxicatingly beautiful. Not only does the position give you wonderful access to all the lady parts, but the vision of pussy and ass right there, within tongue’s reach, it’s enough that I really could spend all night right there.

As these thoughts passed through my mind the other day, I decided I should compile a list of ways for women to feel more comfortable when 69ing. After all, if you’re not comfortable, you’re not going to enjoy yourself. And if you’re not enjoying yourself, what the fuck’s the point?

So without further ado, here’s 10 ways to help you relax and enjoy the fine art of 69ing.

  1. Be Clean. One of the main concerns women often have with 69ing, and oral sex in general, is that they feel their vaginas are unclean. Add in a little bit of spread open ass cheeks, and many women are running to the nearest bathroom with wet wipes. Ladies, relax. If you’d like to 69 and you’re concerned that your nether regions aren’t as clean as the rest of you (chances are they’re cleaner, but that’s a different post), simply take a shower before heading to bed. Wash yourself, twice if you must, then put the thought behind you. Your ass and pussy are clean and ready to be devoured.
  2. Shave Your Lips. Whether you’ve got a baldy, a landing strip, or a jungle bush, shaving your lips can do wonders for your partner’s view during a 69. Not only does it smooth things out for him – or her – to take your lips into his mouth or between his teeth, but it opens your whole vulva and creates a heavenly vision. If you really get into it and like to ride against his face, shaving can help prevent both pube floss and bush rug burn.
  3. Be On Top. Although there’s mixed thoughts on this, I believe if you’re uncomfortable while 69ing, it’s best to be on top. When the female’s on the bottom, she has little control as to the depth and speed of the cock in her mouth. Plus when boys start sweating, it can drip down their butt cheeks, over their balls, and onto your face. I know it’s not a pretty sight, but after you 69 enough times in the heat of July, you learn some of these things. By staying on top, you get to decide where and how deep his cock goes, while he gets to see you spread wide and glorious.  
  4. Stay On Your Knees. Although it’s tempting, and perfectly okay, to grind down on his face when he’s licking your pussy during 69ing, if you’re hesitant about the position and slightly uncomfortable doing it, staying on your knees can help. You can keep yourself above him if you’re afraid of suffocating him (you won’t though, even if your grind away, I promise) or too uneasy to let him really get up in there. My guess is once it starts and you get in to it, he’ll be wrapping his arms around your hips and pulling you down closer to him. But for now, if you’d feel better, it’s fine to just try and stay on your knees.
  5. Do It by Candlelight. As I’ve mentioned, one of the reasons women don’t like 69ing is because they feel exposed. Lower that feeling by turning off the lights and lighting some candles instead. Candlelight makes skin look smooth and soft, and while it allows you to see, it masks flaws and imperfections. With candles burning instead of bright florescent lights, you know he won’t be able to see the few hairs you missed or the little bump on your behind (not that he’d care anyway) and can therefore stop worrying about it and enjoy what his tongue’s doing to your clit instead.
  6. Have a Glass of Wine. Or 3. While alcohol and sex sometimes do not mix (although they always mix well in the McConnell household), having a glass or two of wine can help you relax and feel more at ease before heading into the bedroom. The wine settles your nerves and lowers your inhibitions, perhaps allowing you to forget about why you don’t like 69ing and instead find a whole new bunch of reasons why you love it.
  7. Remember It’s Give and Take. The best part of 69ing, for me anyways, is the give and take of mutual pleasure. It’s okay if you become overwhelmed with pleasure and your mouth drifts from his cock. If you can keep a hand on it, stroking hum as you cum, that’s great, but if you can’t, it’s not a big deal either. Just remember to return the favor once you’ve calmed down and don’t get shitty if his lips fall from yours as he cums down your throat.
  8. Have Him Start First. If you’re anxious, or if it takes you longer than him to get warmed up, have him go down on you before you start 69ing. That way when it’s time for you to roll up on top, you’re already randy and ready to go. This also means you’ll be more into the position, more into getting pleasure, and more into licking his cock. It’s a win-win situation.
  9. Use Your Hands. Really ladies, if you aren’t already using your hands when you’re going down on your guy, you, and he, are missing out. Learn how to lengthen the stroke of your mouth with your hand and sucking his dick suddenly gets much, much better. Using your hands is important, especially in 69ing. That way when you’re so overcome with cumming and you can’t breathe with him in your  mouth, you can still pleasure him with your hands. And vice verse.
  10. Have Fun. Remember what it’s all about. It’s about feeling good and having fun. If 69ing stresses you out so much you need a Xanax, well then don’t worry about it. But if you’re just a little hesitant and unsure, then find a good looking partner and head to the bedroom. Relax, have fun, and lick some hard cock. What more could you ask for?

Although 69ing isn’t for everyone, I hope these ten hints and tips help you relax and give the position a chance. You never know, it may just become one of your favorite things too.

What about you? Are you like me and love 69ing? Or do you think the position is completely over rated?

17 responses to “Becoming More Comfortable 69ing

  1. Yep. I get it. For years, I hated 69…until SSir. And now it’s one of my favorite positions. 🙂

  2. It’s one of my favorite things now too, since I am with someone who loves my body, flaws and all.

  3. Love this post. So here’s something that came up for us. A couple of times I squirted a lot while on top and drenched him. The solution? If we’re going to do this position it has to be early on and It has to be my first orgasm. I usually squirt with the second orgasm on, unless he’s using the wand on me and then squirting happens right away.

    • Sigh. Yes, Elle, this happens to us too. Poor Lynn, the first time we had sex, it almost drowned her, but realized a moment before hand and moved to her chest, which I proceeded to soak. M knows my body better than I do, and pulls back right before the gush. But this winter, before he shaved off his beard, it would crack me up because when we’d move on from 69ing, my juices were, literally, dripping from his chin. For us squirters, doing it at the beginning is an excellent idea, before all the dams break! xoxo

  4. At least 1000 times. That’s how much I love this way of connecting. I got out the calculator that tells me that’s how many times I’ve had sex with a woman since 19. And I’ll never forget my first. Her parents were in the other room! The taste and scent ladies; worry not. That’s half the reason we go there. So don’t be TOO clean now.

  5. And the ass. Keep it clean. Nina Hartley says good lovers floss. I say they also keep their ass clean. This is what we are learning. She can sit on my face now with more confidence knowing her ass is clean. I learned this from a horse actually. No, not that way. Riding once I noticed the horse in front would fart, then his/her ass got rather juicy; not in a oral wonderful kind of way. So we have a lot of extra wash cloths around now. When I say “sit on my face dear wife”, she has more confidence. And when I’m getting oral attention, I actually have more confidence; because I know I smell clean down there; and, I’m more available for a little thumb circling on the anus, no? Delightful. You didn’t even mention that, right?

    • Right, right, right. I have packages of wet wipes in the bathroom and bedroom and sex areas throughout the house. When you know you’re clean, it’s much easier to relax. Thanks for the hints Dan! xoxo

  6. The gent I see when I’m on the east coast loves for me to sit on his face. I’ve learned to get into 69 because of it. It’s an interesting position. Being on top makes me feel so much more comfortable

  7. I love Sixty-nining.It’s a must for foreplay. And when my body gives out (Bad back) we do it on our sides.

    Where there’s a will there is always a way.. Great post Caityln!!

  8. Is it alright if I re-blog this Caityln?

  9. Pingback: 9 Weeks to Better Sex? - Love Sex and Marriage

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