For years, I hated 69ing. Too young and too insecure about my body, I was uncomfortable being exposed and having my most private parts on display.
And then I met M.
The visual creature that he is, 69ing was (and still is) one of his favorite ways to pass the time. Oh, I’d comply, straddle myself across over his mouth, but I was always uncomfortable, still too shy to be able to relax with my pussy and ass only inches from his face.
And then came babies. Three of them. And 80 pounds of extra weight that lingered on my body for years too long. With all of that, 69ing again became a taboo act, with me too unhappy with myself to be able to let go and simply enjoy.
But slowly the weight drifted off and my body confidence started to return, along with the acceptance of the signs of aging and life that showed on my body.
And for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the mutual pleasure 69ing gave. I could finally relax and turn myself over to the give and take it created. But still, if I thought too much about it, my ass cheeks spread only inches from his face, my mind would again get in the way.
But not now. Never again. Now I fully understand M’s reassurance that the sight of my pussy and ass above him is arousing. That he enjoys the vision and it’s what makes it one of his favorite things.
Recently, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to 69 with another woman. And with me on my back, her pussy on my lips, I can verify ladies, the image is truly intoxicatingly beautiful. Not only does the position give you wonderful access to all the lady parts, but the vision of pussy and ass right there, within tongue’s reach, it’s enough that I really could spend all night right there.
As these thoughts passed through my mind the other day, I decided I should compile a list of ways for women to feel more comfortable when 69ing. After all, if you’re not comfortable, you’re not going to enjoy yourself. And if you’re not enjoying yourself, what the fuck’s the point?
So without further ado, here’s 10 ways to help you relax and enjoy the fine art of 69ing.
- Be Clean. One of the main concerns women often have with 69ing, and oral sex in general, is that they feel their vaginas are unclean. Add in a little bit of spread open ass cheeks, and many women are running to the nearest bathroom with wet wipes. Ladies, relax. If you’d like to 69 and you’re concerned that your nether regions aren’t as clean as the rest of you (chances are they’re cleaner, but that’s a different post), simply take a shower before heading to bed. Wash yourself, twice if you must, then put the thought behind you. Your ass and pussy are clean and ready to be devoured.
- Shave Your Lips. Whether you’ve got a baldy, a landing strip, or a jungle bush, shaving your lips can do wonders for your partner’s view during a 69. Not only does it smooth things out for him – or her – to take your lips into his mouth or between his teeth, but it opens your whole vulva and creates a heavenly vision. If you really get into it and like to ride against his face, shaving can help prevent both pube floss and bush rug burn.
- Be On Top. Although there’s mixed thoughts on this, I believe if you’re uncomfortable while 69ing, it’s best to be on top. When the female’s on the bottom, she has little control as to the depth and speed of the cock in her mouth. Plus when boys start sweating, it can drip down their butt cheeks, over their balls, and onto your face. I know it’s not a pretty sight, but after you 69 enough times in the heat of July, you learn some of these things. By staying on top, you get to decide where and how deep his cock goes, while he gets to see you spread wide and glorious.
- Stay On Your Knees. Although it’s tempting, and perfectly okay, to grind down on his face when he’s licking your pussy during 69ing, if you’re hesitant about the position and slightly uncomfortable doing it, staying on your knees can help. You can keep yourself above him if you’re afraid of suffocating him (you won’t though, even if your grind away, I promise) or too uneasy to let him really get up in there. My guess is once it starts and you get in to it, he’ll be wrapping his arms around your hips and pulling you down closer to him. But for now, if you’d feel better, it’s fine to just try and stay on your knees.
- Do It by Candlelight. As I’ve mentioned, one of the reasons women don’t like 69ing is because they feel exposed. Lower that feeling by turning off the lights and lighting some candles instead. Candlelight makes skin look smooth and soft, and while it allows you to see, it masks flaws and imperfections. With candles burning instead of bright florescent lights, you know he won’t be able to see the few hairs you missed or the little bump on your behind (not that he’d care anyway) and can therefore stop worrying about it and enjoy what his tongue’s doing to your clit instead.
- Have a Glass of Wine. Or 3. While alcohol and sex sometimes do not mix (although they always mix well in the McConnell household), having a glass or two of wine can help you relax and feel more at ease before heading into the bedroom. The wine settles your nerves and lowers your inhibitions, perhaps allowing you to forget about why you don’t like 69ing and instead find a whole new bunch of reasons why you love it.
- Remember It’s Give and Take. The best part of 69ing, for me anyways, is the give and take of mutual pleasure. It’s okay if you become overwhelmed with pleasure and your mouth drifts from his cock. If you can keep a hand on it, stroking hum as you cum, that’s great, but if you can’t, it’s not a big deal either. Just remember to return the favor once you’ve calmed down and don’t get shitty if his lips fall from yours as he cums down your throat.
- Have Him Start First. If you’re anxious, or if it takes you longer than him to get warmed up, have him go down on you before you start 69ing. That way when it’s time for you to roll up on top, you’re already randy and ready to go. This also means you’ll be more into the position, more into getting pleasure, and more into licking his cock. It’s a win-win situation.
- Use Your Hands. Really ladies, if you aren’t already using your hands when you’re going down on your guy, you, and he, are missing out. Learn how to lengthen the stroke of your mouth with your hand and sucking his dick suddenly gets much, much better. Using your hands is important, especially in 69ing. That way when you’re so overcome with cumming and you can’t breathe with him in your mouth, you can still pleasure him with your hands. And vice verse.
- Have Fun. Remember what it’s all about. It’s about feeling good and having fun. If 69ing stresses you out so much you need a Xanax, well then don’t worry about it. But if you’re just a little hesitant and unsure, then find a good looking partner and head to the bedroom. Relax, have fun, and lick some hard cock. What more could you ask for?
Although 69ing isn’t for everyone, I hope these ten hints and tips help you relax and give the position a chance. You never know, it may just become one of your favorite things too.
What about you? Are you like me and love 69ing? Or do you think the position is completely over rated?