A few months back, I remember reading a post from Confessions of Your Husband’s Mistress about what men want, discussing the dichotomy of prim and proper during the day and wild and raunchy at night. I actually emailed the link to M to get his thoughts on it, which were pretty much “Yep, that’s what we want” (he’s not much of a talker).

So I’ve been thinking about this ever since, the wife and the mistress, the housewife and the whore, the “good” and the “bad.” We want it all.

See, a wife gives a man stability, a home, a family, something to care for and love, something to provide for, take care of and call his own.

A mistress, on the other hand, gives him excitement, a change from the everyday, a thrill will no judgment or expectation past the here and now. She’s something that is solely just for him.

So how do we, as women and wives, solve this?

By becoming the mistress.

Have an Affair.

Think about what it’s like to have an affair. It’s secretive. It’s intense. It’s passionate.

You don’t met your lover with hairy legs in the sweat pants you’ve had on for 2 days. No, you primp, you prep, make yourself look your best. You wear something that makes you feel sexy, wanton.

Do this for your man. Have secret little rendezvouses. Have secret meetings and stolen moments. Rent a hotel room for an hour in the middle of the day. Sneak to meet after work for a make-out session in a parking lot. Do it in the spare bedroom on your lunch break. Whatever it takes.

Touch each other like you only have this time, right now. Like you don’t know when the next time you will be together is. Like all you’ve thought about all day is dropping to your knees and taking him in your mouth. Live in this moment.

Leave the Wife at Home

When you have these moments, leave home at home. Don’t talk about the bills, the chores, the children. That’s not what this is about. This is about wanting and sex and pleasure. You’ve got every day to bitch about this stuff. Don’t do it now.

Here, you are not his wife, you are his mistress. Focus on him, pay attention to him. Fawn on him, make him feel special. Touch him. Let your hands roam his body, let you hand graze him as he walk by.

Break From the Norm

For this to work, it has to be different. It has to be fun. It has to have adrenaline and thrill. It can’t be boring.

Let your guard down and get dirty. If he always initializes sex, you start it. If you always have missionary sex, then climb on top.

No man wants a boring mistress. Let go. Be wild.

Talk dirty. Give him head like it’s your favorite thing to do. Fuck him like it’s the last time you’ll be able to cum. Live out your fantasy. And his.

Have Fun

Because that’s what it’s about. It’s about taking care of business and having fun and enjoying each other. It’s about getting back to basics and having a good ole fucking time.