A Guide to Female Masturbation

I don’t know how much of an issue this is, but I thought it was something I should maybe talk about…  female masturbation.  Some studies say

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as many at 58% of women don’t masturbate.  I can’t imagine a life without masturbation.  I’ve masturbated as long as I can remember, at least starting in my very early teens.  I read my first romance novel when I was in sixth grade.  I would stay up late, reading with a flashlight.  It seems so cliché, looking back, but I’m guessing that’s probably when it started.  I would sneak my mom’s PlayGirl magazines and always read the stories.  I would get wet, touch myself, but hadn’t really realized that there was more.  Then one day I read a story where a girl straddled a window while fingering herself (she was showing off for her sexy neighbor) and so I took my magazine from my bed, went to the bathroom, and straddled the side of tub.  And that is the only way I masturbated for the next, maybe, eight to ten years.

I would use vibrators and such, but if I was doing it by hand, I would have to straddle something, riding my hand with two or three fingers in my pussy.  Then one day, probably around 20, I was living with a guy I dated, another couple, and one more guy.  There were five of us in the house with one bathroom.  It was hard enough to try to take a shit in private, let alone be able to get in the bathroom, have time to rub one down, and not be distracted enough for it to actually happen. I decided it sucked that I couldn’t just lay back and masturbate in bed.  I was then on a mission to learn to masturbate all over again.  It took awhile (like months), but I finally learned how to get myself off without having to use a vibrator and without having to “ride” something.

How nice it is to just be able to lay back and rub my clit and cum.  I don’t know if this is a common problem among women, but I figure I’m not the only one out there.  So here you go ladies…  Masturbating tips and advice.

Start Off Right

  • If you’re trying something new, it will help if you can “set the mood.”  Relax.  Take a bath, lotion yourself up.  Make yourself feel sexy.  Have a little wine.  What ever it is that will get you ready.  Obviously, you don’t need to do this every time you masturbate, but, even if it’s not your first time, sometimes it’s nice to take your time and seduce yourself.
  • Fantasize.  Think about a really hot sex session you’ve had, or one that you’d like to.  If you prefer, read a sexy story or put in a porn that will turn you on.  I masturbate to porn a lot.  I like it.
  • Touch yourself.  If you are new to masturbating, start slow, touching yourself in different places and in different ways.  Tug on your nipples, rub your inner thighs.  Remember, it’s not just your clit and vagina.  I like to touch the outside of my pussy, cup my vulva, play with my outer labia, pulling on them just slightly.  I also play with my nipples a lot, especially once I’m excited, as it helps me to cum.
  • Try it in the tub.  Many women like to masturbate in the tub.  It helps you relax and bodies always feel sexy when they’re wet.  An old roommate taught me a bathtub technique once.  She would lay on her back with her feet up on the shower wall, with her pussy positioned under the faucet.  She would get the water just right so that it was hitting her clit over and over again.  It made her cum so quick.  I’ve tried it.  It feels great, but doesn’t work for me…  I tend to need a lot of pressure to cum, but it’s a great warm up.

Clitoral Stimulation

  • First, as with anything, it’s different for everybody.  What feels good for me, might not do the trick for you.  So play around.  See what feels good.  Experiment.
  • Figure 8.  Take a few fingers, and trace a figure eight around your pussy.  Start at the side of your clit, go up and around the hood, then cross back over, and run your finger(s) around the bottom of your vaginal opening.  Continue the pattern, modifying where you see necessary.  Try different pressures, speeds, directions.  Make little pit stops:  run a few circles around your clit, dip a finger into your pussy, do whatever feels good.
  • Spread ’em.  Take your pointer and index fingers and use them to spread your outer lips apart.  Use your middle finger to play with your clit.  Rub it back and forth.  Do circles over it.  I once read that more women use a circular motion to cum than any other movement.  They also said that most circle to the right (clockwise if you are looking down at it).  This position also makes it very nice and easy to take that middle finger and insert it.  Pull up some of those pussy juices to keep your clit lubricated and slippery.
  • The hood.  Many women like to play with the hood of their clit.  Put your fingers on the skin surrounding your clit (sometimes, especially depending on arousal, it may be hard to do this because the clit engorges, swelling up past the skin), and rub your fingers lightly back and forth, making the skin massage your clit.  This is really useful if your clit is extra sensitive, as it takes away the direct pressure.

Vaginal Stimulation

  • I like to use two fingers, sometimes even three, when I finger myself.  Make sure that your nails are short and smooth, or you may cause yourself some pain here.  Start with one finger, and play, pushing it in and out of you pussy.  Depending on how that feels, add another or two.  Or three.  I like to press the heel of my hand against my clit and kind of grind on it, but that’s me.  You will need to find what works for you.  Some like an in-and-out motion, others like to move their fingers only on the inside, touching the vaginal walls.
  • This can lead to G-Spot stimulation.  While touching your vaginal walls, massage the front wall, about two to three inches in (give or take in either direction).  As you become excited, you’ll feel an area that feels a little different–kind of like it has ridges on it.  That’s your G-Spot.  Massage it, trying different pressures.  It may become harder, and that is a good thing.  Continue to touch it, applying pressure.  If you relax and are really enjoying it, this can bring on female ejaculation.  I, myself, have sadly never been able ejaculate through masturbation, although M is able to make me squirt.  As I’m not familiar with making yourself squirt, I don’t really want to give too much advice on it.  If any of you readers out there have suggestions, please comment.  I’d be really excited if I could make myself squirt.  I don’t know if I’d ever even leave my bedroom.


  • Depending on what toys you have, you can use just about any of the above techniques with a vibrator, just make sure if you are
    Deutsch: Eine Frau masturbiert mit einer elekt...

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    masturbating in the tub, you are using a water proof toy.  You can get vibrators for you clit, ones for penetration, some specially designed to hit your G-Spot, and some that do all of it.  One of my favorites is an attachment for my Wand, it massages my clit, has a G-Spot designed dildo, and a small plug that can get inserted in to my ass.  Play around.  Find what works for you.

  • A word of caution, especially for those new to masturbating.  A vibrator can make you cum much quick and harder than manual stimulation.  That’s fine.  But don’t solely rely on it.  Some women who only use a vibrator will get to the point where they must have it to cum, as it actually desensitizes the nerve endings.  And I don’t know about you, but I don’t ever want to have my pussy desensitized.

Final Thoughts

  • Remember–There is no right or wrong way to masturbate.  Everyone likes different things.  Many women add different props (pillows, bath tubs, electric toothbrushes…), use different positions, touch themselves in different places and in different ways.  Don’t be embarrassed.  Don’t feel guilty.  Pleasure yourself.
  • If you are just learning, take it slow.  Don’t try to get off, just do it to pleasure yourself.  When you first start, and are learning how to touch yourself and what works for you, it will feel good.  But it may take sometime to learn to bring you to climax.  Don’t stress about it.  Just take the pleasure and keep on practicing!
  • There are benefits to masturbation, other than the obvious one of pleasure, so do it for your health.  Masturbation helps you to get to know your body.  It can help you sleep at night.  It can lower your pain levels (temporarily).  It can reduce stress.  Self-awareness, less pain, more sleep, and stress reduction…  Who doesn’t want that.
  • The best part of masturbating…  learning what turns you on.  Knowing how you like to be touched.  And then being able to pass that information on to your lover.

25 responses to “A Guide to Female Masturbation

  1. Ironically, I’ve been making myself come since I was 10, but only truly learned to masturbate when I was 36.

  2. Great post!

    When I first starting to masturbate, the only way I knew how to cum was from the bathtub facuet method mentioned above. This was definitely a challenge in college, when I lived with three other girls. They were always so annoyed that I would take such long baths, but this method was more covert that going at it with a noisy vibrator in my shared bedroom.

    When I moved out on my own I promptly ordered a Hitachi Magic Wand, which was the best thing ever. It totaly desensitized me though, and for years it was the only thing that would make me cum. I went through several of them over the years, but when the last one died I decided it was time to break the habit. I now use a much less powerful pocket rocket type of vibe. It’s still difficult (and time comsumming) for me to get off using only my fingers, but ultimately I’d like to get to the point where I don’t have to rely on props. Thanks for the post.

    • Imperfect, I completely understand. I use my wand a lot now, and sometimes it takes me awhile to still cum manually (unless I go to my old standby and straddle something). It is frustrating, because if I’m out of town or on vacation, or staying with someone, I don’t want to have to pull out a vibe and take the risk of being heard. I’m working on doing it without help, but the other day it took me damn near 20 minutes! Keep on trying!!

      And thanks for reading!

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  6. Can vibrators really desensitize your clit? I’ve heard it said, and I’ve always heard it’s not true, but as there been any studies on it or anything can you really desensitize nerve endings through vibrations? Do people who work with heavy vibrating machinery all the time, like jack hammers have less sensitive nerve endings in their hands because of it?

    • I don’t know about studies or jack hammers (but I will look into it). But I what I do know is that if I masturbate with a vibrator, especially a stong one (like my Magic Wand), for a long time, without using manual stimulation, it becomes harder and harder to cum without it. I don’t necessarily know if it’s “desensitizing” but it absolutely makes it harder to cum without the vibrations. Even during intercourse. So, as much as I love vibrators, I suggest you rotate out, at least every third or fourth time, with using only your hand. Better safe than sorry!

      And thanks for reading Olga!

      • That sounds less like desensitization and more like conditioning. Kind of like Pavlov. I find that I become conditioned to the method of masturbation and have to switch it up or else get stuck too.

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  10. I think I’m going through the same phase youve gone thru. I can’t get satisfied without riding something.
    Kinda trying out new ways.

    • I’ve been in this phase for 20 years! But I can get off other ways, most of the time (always with my wand). It just takes much longer. And sometimes not at all. But let me ride something, and in less than three minutes, it’s taken care of. I hope this post helped! Keep me updated.

      And thanks for reading!

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