So if you’ve been keeping up, you’d know that I want a girlfriend. And I’ve been browsing around on aff (actually may even have a first date this Saturday), and I’m finding it a completely different experience than when I was looking for a third.

I’m not looking for just a fuck, so on one hand I’m just as interested in what someone likes to do, the things she does for fun, etc. But what I’ve found most interesting is that I’m looking at different girls than I  was the last time.

I was somewhat surprised to see I was drawn to looking at girls who are more curvy, with a little more meat on their bones. Not obese, not even close, but apparently I like girls who are soft rather than boney.

And don’t get me wrong… All you skinny bitches out there, you’re sexy as hell, don’t misunderstand me. But my attraction seems to fall a little higher on the weight scale.

And I started to think back, back to a time when I regularly buried my head between girls’ legs, and my past preferences  prove this. The one “girlfriend” I’ve had, back then she wasn’t fat, but she was never thin, more big boned. And the other girls who ended up in my bed, or in my fantasies for that matter, they weren’t skinny girls either, although they all had flat stomachs and good proportions.

And this has struck up an odd conversation between M and myself. When he first saw the pic of the girl I’m hoping to go out with this weekend, he was like, “But she’s thick.”



Hmmm…. Why? Because girls with curves are sexy. They are soft and hippy and I can curl up next to them. Because I want to run my hands down their sides and feel the flare of their ribs, waist and hips. Because when I wrap my arms around her, I don’t want to feel like I could break her in two.

And I’m not (currently) a skinny girl. I’m still struggling to get there (damn baby weight). But I have a body type that’s meant to be skinny. I’m not curvy. I’ve got a tiny ass and small hips. Even at my fittest, pre-munchkins, when I was running miles every day, swimming every evening and lifting weights more days than not, my waist was not truly defined. Even though my hip bones stuck out and my ribs were slightly visible, I didn’t really have curves, more like angles.

So on this Wednesday morning, I’m still coming to terms with this. With wanting something different than my Sir. With looking for what I want, what I’m attracted to, regardless what people think.

Have a good hump day, y’all. Half way to the weekend! *hugs and kisses*