7 Tips to a Happy Marriage

Is the happily married couple a rarity?

My father and his wife, married for 15 years, hate each other. Oh, they try to play nice when others are around, but deep down, they can’t stand one another.

One of our best couple friends recently separated, after trying to save their marriage for over a year.

And there’s my friend who’s barely out of the newlywed stage, just celebrated her second anniversary this past summer. Her and her husband go weeks, sometimes months, without sex and full days without speaking, even though they’re in the same house.

And then there’s M and me… A fun loving, laid back couple that’s exceedingly happy to be together.¬†And I look around us and don’t see anything close to what we have.

It’s not that we’re perfect. We’re far from it. And we’ve had our issues, major issues that have come close to splitting us up. But they didn’t. We worked through them. It took, literally, blood, sweat, and tears, but it’s helped us learn what works for us.

So it makes me wonder, are happy couples normal? Or is it rare to find couples who actually like one another and enjoy each other’s company?

And it got me thinking about what makes couples work. I wonder what it is about M and me that allows us to be happy that other couples are missing.

So I can up with a list of things that may not necessarily work for everybody and every relationship, but that help to keep us happy and together.

Caitlyn’s Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Lots of Sex

Now, I’m not naive enough to believe that good sex can save a marriage, but I know from experience that it can’t hurt. No one has ever filed for divorce, saying, “You know, he just made me cum too much.” And I know sex can’t fix everything, but it can bring you closer, increase intimacy, and releases oxytocin, making you bond more.

Bite Your tongue

When your mother taught you not to say anything if you couldn’t say something nice, she wasn’t just talking about on the playground. Our partners tend to get us at our worst.We take things out on those closest to us because we know they’re safe. We can scream, yell, and say nasty things, and they’ll still love us when it’s done. Although they still love us, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay. In the long run, it causes sadness, anger, and resentment.

Learn to Let Go

We all fuck up from time to time. But if you want your marriage to work, you’ve got to learn to let go of past transgressions. All of them. If every time you fight, the time you got drunk and showered your tits to his friends in 2002 comes up, it needs to be dropped. Get over it, or don’t, but quit drudging it around through the mud.

Pick Your Battles

If you like to fight, then sure, fight about every little thing you r partner does that pisses you off. But if you don’t like to fight and want a happy marriage, pick your battles and pick them carefully. Does it matter if the toilet paper goes over or under? Does it matter if his socks are left on the floor? No. None of it matters. If you’re going to pick a battle, pick one that matters, one that you’re willing to lose your marriage over. If not, just let it roll.

Know Your Role

Now this one’s hard for most married couples. For M and me… not so much. That’s because we have our dynamic, the power exchange between us. And while many women, especially some of my feminist friends, may not really understand why I’ve “just given up” my say in our marriage, it’s not quite like that. See, because of the roles that we have defined between us, there are no pissing contests. We rarely get into the power struggles we used to when we were a “normal” couple. Am I saying every woman should be submissive to her husband? Fuck no. But maybe by setting roles and understandings, the pissing contests would cease.

Communicate

Perhaps on of the biggest issues with today’s couples is their struggle with communicating. In this crazy world of instant messaging and status updates, it’s harder than ever to sit down and talk to someone, even someone you love. Finding a way to talk to one another, really talk, is key to a lasting and happy relationship.

Have an Adventure

Science has shown that situations where adrenaline increases, so does attraction. So grab your partner and have an adventure. It doesn’t matter if it’s a backpacking trip across Europe, a hike across town, or a new sexy adventure in the bedroom. Just do something exciting that gets your heart pumping and do it together.

So What’s Your Secret?

I’ve given mine, tell us your secret to what keeps your relationship hot, happy, and healthy.

2 responses to “7 Tips to a Happy Marriage

  1. My parents, too, had a miserable marriage. Shy and socially awkward, I never had any intention of getting married. I probably never would have had it not been for a divorcee that crossed my life during my teenage years. While there is a lot of concern about older women taking advantage of teenage boys these days, it was one of the best things that happened to me.

    In addition to teaching me how to undress a woman seated on a divan with one hand, while exploring her with the other, she taught me that men and women can actually have a civil conversation about anything. She even shared intimate details of how her marriage failed.

    Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned from her was to let the woman pick the man. She had seduced me because she had wanted me even when she and her husband were still together. Only later, she confessed, she realized I was more of a man than she had realized.

    That admission came after, with her permission, I gave her an old-fashioned thoroughly deserved bare ass whipping over my lap. I knew I was onto something when she insisted I ravish her immediately afterwards. From that episode I learned that a woman expect a man to be decisive and dominate when she acts out. In turn, she will be totally submissive and much more pleasant to be around.

    Thus, by the time, I began dating my future wife, I was ahead of the game despite an initial handicap. My wife admitted later, much like the divorcee a few years earlier, she had wanted me long before we got together.

    Likewise, as she later confessed, she suspected I would be the first man, other than her father, to give her bottom a good spanking with her over my knee with her dress flipped up and her panties pulled down to her knees. Although she didn’t confirm it until afterwards, she also wanted me to first to have sex with her.

    However, before all that happened, we just talked. We found out about each other and did things together. Although I didn’t tell her about the divorcee until years later, she knew after that first spanking that she wasn’t the first girl to sit on a sore bottom after I got through with her!

    Later, after she picked the time and the place, she complimented me on making her feel so at ease the first time I undressed and penetrated her. Despite being a compete novice, she had a big smile on her face as she got dressed. She said that, like my spanking her bare bottom for the first time, my coming inside her seemed so natural.

    Now, all of this happened when a couple could eat a a restaurant for $3 and couple could sit in the front seat of a V-8 while someone else filled the gas tank for $5. We’ve been together ever since.

    Our secret to marital longevity has been her still wanting me enough to stay with me when marriages around us were crumbling.

    It also helps if the man knows something about women before hand. While everyone has to start somewhere, no matter how interested, no girl wants to be the guinea pig for some guy. Nor does she want be the one to have to tell him what to do and when to do it. That may be why a lot of first high school relationships don’t last.

    One thing I’ve tried not to do, unless it was absolutely necessary, was forcing her to do anything important. Patience with a woman, especially if it involves her doing something new, is an absolute virtue. Thus, it is important for a man to be able to think ahead of the woman.

    Thus far, this strategy seems to have worked out better than most. Even my late mother-in-law knew shortly after I began dating her daughter that our relationship would last. That was, I suspect, the reason my mother-in-law didn’t interfere when she discovered her daughter had gotten spanked on a date.

    Then, my doing it may have saved her the trouble. I know my mother-in-law came close at least once taking a certain dreaded hairbrush to her daughter while we were dating. In those days, turning 18, 19, or even 20 didn’t protect a girl from being spanked by her parents. Practically speaking, back then, some girls got spankings until they got married!

    Then there are also little things I still do for my wife like dating once a week and opening doors for her. Over the years, I’ve also washed and hung diapers and helped with the house work. I’ve cooked and done laundry.

    We’ve never had so much clearly defined roles as boundaries for her behavior. Even as a grey haired grandmother, my wife still knows she’s not too old to get her bare bottom spanked over my knee if I think she needs it.

    • Hi! And sorry it took me so damn long to respond!

      All of what you said is so, so true.

      Although many “modern” women would disagree with me, just as men want both the housewife and the whore, women want the gentleman and the barbarian. Fuck wanting someone equal to me. What fun is there in that? Life is not equal people. Get over the idea of equality. I want someone stronger than me. Bigger than me. A man that can hold me down if he needs to, or as you mentioned, throw me over his knee if it’s deserving. But I also want him to be gentle. Kind. Patient. I want him to smack my ass, fuck the shit out of me, and then hold me next time while I fall asleep.

      *shrugs* If only we could spread the message of how great a happy marriage is…

      Thanks for responding! *hugsandkisses*

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