50 Shades of Anger

Preface:  This is a dumb, ranty post.  I suggest not reading it.  Move forward at your own risk.  Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. ~LSAM


Okay, okay, okay.  I know that everyone’s read it, and I know that everyone’s already thrown out their .02 on the matter.  Well, I’m doing it too.  Read or don’t, because it is what it is…

I’ve got a thing for romance novels.  I always have.  I read my first Johanna Lindsey novel in sixth grade, and I’ve been hooked ever since.  My favorites are mostly historical romances, which typically have an element of adventure and “bad boy whose really a knight in shining armor” in them.  I have read my fair share of modern romances, and *gasp* even a few Harlequins.  So, even though there was so much hype about 50 Shades of Grey, I knew that I would read it.

And I did.  Overall, it’s similar to most romance novels.  The heroine is naive, a virgin (at 21, come the fuck on).  She’s shy and has low self-esteem.  She’s not “beautiful” but pretty in her own way.  The male protagonist, like in many traditional romances, is a dark creature, a man who does his own thing, regardless of what society thinks, a rebel who knows how to make a girl swoon and melt and cum all at the same time.  Not much different from any Nora Roberts, Amanda Quick, Jude Devereux, etc…

What pisses me off more than anything, isn’t even this unrealistic reality that the story is set in, where she is a virgin and has only kissed two guys in her life, and where he has never had anything other than kinky sex.  That kind of stuff I almost expect from a romance novel.  It’s stupid, but it is common in the genre.  No, what pisses me off is how they present Grey’s interest in BDSM.

If you haven’t read the book, Grey is a Dom.  He was a sub when he was a teen, but has since always been involved in contracted D/s relationships.  And the reason he’s into the D/s scene is because he was somehow hurt in his past (I believe all this comes out in the third book in the series, but I’ve only read the first).  He refuses to allow any of his subs to touch him (per the negotiated contract), because of his past.  His mother was a crackhead and his early childhood was filled with abuse.  (How sad, right?  Well, you’ve got to develop empathy some way or another…)

And the way it is presented, this is what led him into BDSM.  This is why he likes to Dominate, why sex with Christen Grey must be kinky and rough and dirty.  Because he was abused.  What the fuck, people!?!  Like we don’t get enough misunderstanding and stereotypes in the lifestyle.  Like people don’t already see many of us as abusers and victims.  The first book in ages that brings BDSM to the spotlight, and the Dom is a fucked up wreck because he was abused as a child.  And it was the abuse that turned him to BDSM.

It. Pisses. Me. The. Fuck. Off.  I’ve never been abused, although I was raised in an abusive household, but I think that has nothing to do with what led me to BDSM.  I have two loving parents, although one is extremely narcissistic.  I think I was spanked once as a child.  M, he too, was raised by loving parents.  No abuse.  Typical American family.  Abuse has nothing, in my mind, to do with why we do what we do.  And it angers me to have BDSM portrayed that way.

And a quick rant about the first person speaker, Ana.  Yes, the 21 year old virgin, who knows nothing of BDSM.  First, the fucking chick is 21 years old and has never masturbated.  But, and this is a big  but, she has her first orgasm from nipple stimulation.  And she’s multi-orgasmic on the day she looses her virginity.  I’m not saying it can’t happen.  But I’m very orgasmic, and it took years of masturbation and play to be able to cum from nipple play.  Oh, and she can deep throat like there’s no tomorrow, yep, on the first time she ever has a cock in her mouth.  Bullshit.

And (I’m wrapping it up here, I promise) in the last scene of the book, the chick asks to be beat with a belt, so she can see if she can take it.  Six swings and she leaves him over it.  Come the fuck on, chick.  Six swings with a belt ain’t shit.  And you’re going to leave the man you love over it?  A man you know is a Dom?  A man you’ve asked to hit you with a belt as hard as he wants?  Six fucking hits.  Damn girly fucking pussy ass chick.

Okay.  Sorry for the indulgence of a book review.  *hugs and kisses*~LSAM

66 responses to “50 Shades of Anger

  1. I am the exact same way about romance novels, especially the historical romance novels…I think I was 10 when I stole one of my mom’s books…

    I have avoided 50 Shades only because I hate to be part of a trend…especially when I was interested in reading about BDSM before 50 Shades was considered the new Mommy Porn…that being said, I know I will read it at some point, and this is the best overview of it I’ve read yet…and you don’t try to be, but you’re hilarious…

    • Thank you Kayla. And as much as I don’t want to, I think I probably will read the rest of the series, just because. It’s kinky for vanilla, and 10 years ago, I probably would have loved it.

  2. Great review! Appreciate your perspective as someone involved in BDSM. In addition to all of the issues you mentioned, the books are 100 Shades of Awful because they’re so poorly written.

  3. You just listed every single problem I had with the first book except you didn’t mention how terrible the writing was. I’m not involved in BDSM, but I cringed reading the whys of his need for it. It bothered me. I have enough interest that her blatant disregard for the practice was painful. What ideas are people getting? You have to be damaged to want to be spanked? And the last scene irritated me so much I almost didn’t want to buy the second book. Your opinion on Ana was mine to the letter. I even mentioned to a friend how unlikely it was for her to suck cock like a pro having never seen one before. My friend said it was possible and I silently called BS.

    I liked your rant. Our thoughts are very similar. You’re good people. 🙂

    • 🙂 You’re good people too CC. And yes, the writing is horrible, very novice.

      And the whole book gives across a bad image of BDSM. If you’re into the scene, you’re damanged. It’s okay for a Dom to be insensitive and abusive when angry. Let alone the fact that Grey came in 2 minutues every single time they fucked! Come on, I don’t care how much playing there is beforehand, no one onces a two-pump-chump!

  4. Great review/rant. I have no plans to read this book because like the commenters above have said it annoys me that D/s is now a trend because of this book, which I have heard is terribly written.

    However, I have to disagree with you about the link between childhood trauma and BDSM. I’m my years in the scene I became lovers or friends with many, many people. l can’t recall one person, dom or sub (myself included) that didn’t face some sort of major trauma in their childhood. You said, “I’ve never been abused, although I was raised in an abusive household.” Witnessing abusive can be just as damaging to a young psyche as experiencing it first hand.

    I’m not saying that every single person who is into bdsm suffered in their childhood. I am sure there are exceptions, like your husband. I’m only saying that every single person I know who is into bdsm had something terrible happen to them as a kid. In my mind, there is a major link.

    • Yes, it’s become a trend. A friend compared it to 101 Dalmations. After the movie came out, all these people went and bought dalmations without researching. Two years later, humane societies are overflowing with them because they were more than people could handle.

      As far as the abuse in regards to BDSM, I’ve not researched it well enough to know. My thoughts are that there are fewer people who do not have trauma in their lives than those that do. Perhaps those of us in the lifestyle are more open in communicating this. Who knows. Perhaps when life settles, I’ll do a little research…

      And thanks for commenting! *hugs and kisses*

  5. Meh. I skimmed through the whole first book (read every few pages or so, most of the sex scenes) and was not impressed. I knew it started out as Twilight fan fiction, so I didn’t expect to be wowed by the writing, but it was almost worse than Stephenie Meyer’s original body of work.

    I also had a problem with the sudden and unrealistic multiple orgasms, expert deep-throating, etc. Also, if I would’ve read “inner goddess” one more time, I believe I would have vomited. It reads like E.L. James might still be a virgin, and definitely has never had any kind of BDSM dynamic. Christian seems to be abusive, rather than Dominant. He’s definitely a fucking stalker, from what I read. And Ana is pathetic, frankly.

    I’m annoyed with all my silly girlfriends reading it, and everyone’s sudden interest in “BDSM”–I really fear some hospital visits for my friends in the near future, because they’re not educated, they’ve just enamored of a fantasy world that they know nothing about. I’m not saying I’m the end-all be-all of experience in BDSM, like any relationship, there will always be room for learning and improvement, but this drivel just gives the lifestyle more of a bad name than it already has.

    Sorry. Read your rant and I had to respond in kind, even though I haven’t read every word. Sigh. If she can make this much money, I ask myself why I’m not publishing my stories and novels every day.

    Xs and Os and ragey rage.
    Fatal <3

    • I basically just wrote the same thing!! Haha Love you, Fatal!

    • I would defintely say worse than Stephenie Meyers (I loved The Host), as at least vampires and the Collins had some plot.

      My stepmom came to me about 50 Shades, and I didn’t really know what to tell her.. I believe “unrealistic” is the word I used.

      And my fear is that people will seek out “Doms” which aren’t, thinking that they are “subs” when they aren’t. And that dynamic only leads to people getting hurt, in more ways than one…

      And Fatal love, you can rant your heart out here as much as you’d like. *hugs and kisses*

      • We share the same fear then. I am shaking my head in frustration. and yaaaay rants. hah.


      • It will pass. All fads do. Idk. I see references to 50 Shades all over the place, and they’re mixed. But it sucks that people are so stupid. That’s the problem. If they were a bit smarter, they’d realize how fake the shit is. oh, well. *shrugs*

      • This particular reply struck me because I had a similar conversation about people getting hurt as a result of how mainstream the book had become. The reality is there are a lot of predators out there, a lot of wannabes and from what I can gather there are now a lot of “ready made submissives”. Nothing good can come from that, because I think a lot of people will read the books and say “I want that”, much like you commment abou 101 Dalmations and they will regret the decision…in some cases after true harm has come to them.
        Until your review I knew of the buzz, but didn’t know the premise and now I can say that I am glad I never, even out of curiousty, bothered with this rubbish.
        I was sexually abused as a child, I don’t hide that, it made me who I am…..as a person, not did not dfine what I enjoy sexually…based on the books description of it’s “hero” I would have only sought BDSM relationships with men, so I sould purge myself of that pain…..sorry for the lack of elegance, but the more I learn of these books…..the more I smell horseshit.

        • First and foremost, welcome to LSAM, Lion! And I completely agree, horse shit. And donkey piss and elephant cum. Hopefully it will pass soon, and the bestsellers list will be back to rainbow and butterflies or mystery csi books. Who knows. But either way, it fucking sucks.

  6. I may not be writing but I’m still reading with great alacrity. I haven’t read this book and refuse to do so. Mainly because it is written so poorly – it’s just the Collins of its time really. No more. No less. The set-up is as you say rightly dull. And I am tired by the lemming-like procession of women who are now buying some BDSM ‘light’ gear in sex shops as they see it as risque. I just wish that men and women would find out about what turns them on. Learn about their bodies and be open. For some yes it is BDSM and others not. For me sexualitity becomes intetesting when people open up to themselves and ultimately their souls and hearts. No judgements. Following a fashion is just superficial. Like botox or boob jobs. It is not about the individual but about the crowd and that’s just thoughtless. Sorry state of affairs (pardon the pun) that.
    My favourite erotic read is Alina Reyes ‘The Butcher’ and Nancy Friday’s book of women’s sexual fantasties. On the absue front it is too stereotypical but it is fair to say many of the BDSM crowd and swinging crowd I’ve met have had their fair share of it … so it’s not too far off the mark there. Sorry. That’s just my experience. X

    • Fuck! I’ve missed you! Glad to know that you’re still around… And I agree, just people jumping on the bandwagon. I’ve never read Reyes, and I’ve only read Friday’s non-fiction, so I’ll have to check those out. My favorite is Anne Rice’s Beauty Series, although it is a fairy tale. The first piece of erotica I ever read was called Suzanne and I found in our hunting camp when I was proably 13. I wish I could find it now, to read it as an adult. I remember reading it, with what I imagine was my mouth hanging open and a hand down my panties. It had oral sex, bi, and a daisy chain… Needless to say, it taught me a lot!

      • deviantdiaries

        Ohhh love the Beauty Series…it was my first “exposure” to anything that hinted of an alternative lifestyle and I read it over 20 years ago…shame I didn’t figure out then that it was really my calling to be in this lifestyle…and def a newbie here since I have yet to find a decent Dom to call my own (sigh). Anyway, I agree with your rant and will not read the series and if one more person asks me if I’ve read it (for those who know I have a “dark side” I will scream. Another Hollywood “sanitized” psycho babble of bullshit by those who know just enough to be dangerous. It is the reason I would never attempt to write BDSM erotica even though my friends encourage me…I don’t have the real world experience to back it up and in spite of my online research and chatting with those more experienced than me, I feel I would be called out as a poser and wannabe.

        I actually had one friend, as we were discussing my yearn for spankings, tell me he was worried about me and that I had mental issues and should get counseling. He clearly thought the idea that anyone could want something as tame as a spanking hinted at deep seated issues from my youth…..grrrrrrr!

        • Yes, the Beauty series in fantastic! I was rather young, I think when I read it. Early teens.

          And maybe, if your friend is so scared of a little spanking, he has some childhood issues he needs to overcome! haha.

          It does get frustrating, but I love my dynamic. It works for me, no matter what anyone thinks about it. 🙂 *hugs and kisses*

  7. Thank you LSAM, CC, and Fatal! I had read CC’s (very thought out and well written) review of the book some time ago. (For those of you who don’t know, CC’s blog is: http://ccarothers.wordpress.com/ and also http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/) So, having read her scathing review (and I respect her opinion immensely because she is such a great writer herself), I never read the book. But with each passing day that I don’t read it, it’s popularity seems to balloon. Just yesterday I was at the beach and overheard three college-age women discussing it. One of them said, “They should turn it into a move,” and the other replied, excitedly, “A high budget porn!” Now, here’s how I feel about it. I understand that it might suck as a piece of writing and it may be very misguided as to BDSM, but at least it is taking “erotica” as a genre into the mainstream! That is good for all of us. AND, like Dan Brown’s The Davinci Code, or the Harry Potter series, it shows that the written word and books are not dead yet! But the one thing I don’t get is WHY are so many women into reading this NOW? Are they all so sexually frustrated and are they so inhibited that, unless a friend recommends a risque book, they won’t even venture into the nether realms of the internet to find stuff out there such as CC’s blogs and LSAM and Fatal, and Sexual Life of a Wife and Gillian, and all of you wonderful women writers out there? Good grief, this country needs a best-selling erotica novel! – A good one, about a nymphomaniac and her elder gentlemanly lover, and. . . whoops, sorry, this is a place for comments, not self promotion.

    • Why now?

      I think it has to do with the placement in the store, and a company big enough to back it. Except for 50 Shades, I’ve never seen erotica in a bookstore – and believe me I’ve looked. I think the question might be: what has changed within the publishing house and the bricks and mortar stores?

      Before stumbling across ebook erotica, I had no access to erotica whatsoever. I didn’t know it existed or how to find it. The only book I ever heard of was de Sade, which is far too great a jump.

      I think the craze is about having access to erotica. Do you remember how marvelous “roses are red, violets are blue” etc., was when you first heard it? Rhyming poetry seemed genius as a kid. That is where some of these women are at. In a few years they will call 50 Shades gateway books. I have no plans to read the books, but I am glad it is available.

      My 2¢ too. 🙂

      • Good point!

      • IKTB **sidetrack: As I’m typing out these intials, as I was going to call you “But”, but then thought better of it, I can’t help but be reminded of New Kids on the Block. How funny!**

        The erotica was there, it just isn’t easy to find. I only say that, because all my erotic fiction, except for what’s on my nook, was bought at a local chain bookstore. Most of it was found in the “Relationship” section of the non-fiction. Much of it is anthologies of short stories, but there are a few random pieces that stand out as pretty good. And then there are the romance novels that lean very close to erotica, and I’ve stumbled across a few of those that were worth the read (I’d never considered toe sucking, thought it was disgusting, until I read a description of it in one of these “bridge overs.”).

        *hugs and kisses*

        • Hugs and kisses back –

          So would you say those books were by the self help section? (heh, heh) That lack of clear accessiblity is a perfect illustration to my experience.

          Last week, 50 Shades was on sale in a center table display at Walmart. I was one of those that went to the display with my Mom, going: oh, look, it’s *those* books. Then I flipped through them to show her some hawt p0rn. Couldn’t find any to show her. I’m trying to gently get her reading some good stuff.

          By the way, and you might have said, what are your favorite books?

      • IKTB — Yes, ironically, in the self-help section…

        Any my favorite erotica. Of hand, without having my library in front on me (still in the fucking storage unit!!), Anne Rice’s Beauty series (The Claiming of Beauty, The Village, and fuck if I can remember the third!) and her book Belinda. Exit to Eden is another of hers. And it might be a shameless plug, but I love all of Gillian’s as well. Most of what I own is in anthologies, but I remember one specifically that was waterproof, for reading in the bath. I don’t remember what it was called, but I remember getting a lot of use out of it! As soon as I get my books back, I’ll post a list. Becoming Sage was pretty good, but I can’t think of who wrote it…

    • I am all for shedding inhibitions of course. Time for another sexual revolution is well over do and all that, I just wish the masses would’ve dallied with the new bottoming book or its counterpart, or some other helpful books, rather than unrealistic trash.

      Also, I hear there is a movie and a Broadway musical in the works for this novel. Fans mainly want Alexander Skarsgard or Ian Somerhalder to play Christian Grey. I would probably guiltily head to the theatres if my Swedish dreamboat Skarsgard played the lead. Hah.


      • @ Fatal. I agree. And I’ll probably finish reading, just becvvause I’m in the middle of the story. Who knows. Maybe they’ll get better. I doubt it, but you never know.

      • deviantdiaries

        The “Beauty” series is: The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty’s Punishment, and Beauty’s Release. I really need to repurchase them since I loaned them to a friend and never got them back. Ironically, when you look up the 50 shades series on Amazon, the Beauty series comes up as a “you might also enjoy these”. I’m sure Anne Rice is thrilled (heavy sarcasm)

        • haha. And thanks for the titles. I have them somewhere, I think. I’ve probably owned the set at least three or four times. Maybe I should get them on my nook. That way I can’t lend them out!

    • @ HH. Why now? Who the fuck knows. Maybe it’s all the vampire shit, Twilight and True Blood and all that crap. Ladies are looking for a little violence… idk. I remember when Exit to Eden came out as a movie, and they made it a comedy. It made Anne Rice’s erotica mainstream. You can buy them right along with the Mayfair Witches.

      I read a ton of books, and I pick up random stuff at the bookstores that are put out to catch your eye and buy ebooks because B&N highlights them, so publicity and all that goes into it… It’s a bunch of different reasons, and then none at all. I’ve read a bunch of “Bestsellers” that I thought were shit. The thing is, 50 Shades isn’t really erotica. I mean, there is sex, and it’s kinky (not that erotica has to be kinky mind you). It’s a romance novel with a BDSM element. That’s what allowed it to become mainstream.

      And as far as coming to blogs, etc, to find sexy stuff to read… I had never thought about it. Ever. And then I started blogging, and found all you kinky people! Haha. xoxoxo

  8. In my drafts I have “50 Shades of Grey is a pile of shit erotica”, no joke. I’m half way through book #2 and I want to vomit. The sex scenes don’t even turn me on; her constant reference to her “inner goddess” and “subconscious” infuriate me; Ana’s continued annoyance with Christian’s “bossiness” (ya, think??) makeshift want to rip the pages out; and Ana’s disgustingly low self esteem and narcissistic nature have me slack jawed that a nation thinks this story has relevance of any kind. I have also taken issue with Grey’s past leading him to BDSM, but it makes sense to me.

    In any case, I’m with you on this one, sister! Barf!

  9. Also, that bs about cumming from nipple play the first time she’s ever touched, the deep throating, multiorgasms, etc. PUHLEEZE!! So goddamned stupid!!

  10. Reblogged this on Unraveling MaríMar and commented:
    I haven’t read the book but I know enough about it from listening and reading and while there are many reviews out there I like LSAM the best. Everything she wrtes is very true. 🙂
    So D/s is becoming mainstream? Quite interesting to see how in all unravels.

  11. I haven’t read it. No money for book-buying. But the comment that you don’t like that the writer gave him being abused as a child as a reason for his interest in BDSM, reminded me of something else entirely.

    Some years back I was a huge fan of a soap villain and I wanted him to stay bad, and other women wanted him to become good, and there were a lot of these women who wanted them to write a backstory explaining that he was bad because of childhood abuse. I hated that idea. I never want badness in fiction to be excused away. I always want it to be just who they are.

    Anyway . . . if I were reading these books, the idea that he was abused would annoy the hell out of me. Not because it sends any kind of message that only people abused are drawn to BDSM, but because I don’t like to see a bad boy ruined by excuses for his badness.

    • Welcome Lish! And I agree, why does he need an excuse to be the way he is? Why can’t he just be dirty and bad? We have this need to explain, psychologically, why people are the way they are. Sometimes, we just are. As simple as that. Thank’s for commenting! *hugs and kisses*

  12. While I love a good steamy romance (mostly historical genera with an alpha male and adventure – just like you. We could exchange!) I couldn’t get past the unrealistic responses Ana had.

    • True that! Like I said above, it took so long for me to have a nipple orgasm, and I think I could honestly count them on one hand. And I’m pretty fucking orgasmic. I can’t tell you the last time I had sex and didn’t come at least 5 to 7 times. Normally, I’m like a fucking machine. I bet there have been times I’ve came 40+ times a night (I just verified that with M, just to make sure I wasn’t exaggerating), but only a handful of nipple orgasms. xoxoxo

  13. Hey, LS&M – I’ve just plagiarised this post as the basis for my reply to a survey from a toy company (yes, ‘that’ sort of toy company).

    If I get the $150 prize I’ll share it with you:-)

    Now, do tell us what should be on all our reading lists:-) Hey – a fresh post on that would be good:-)

  14. Hi LSAM!
    Because of all the hype about this book (they’re even talking about it in France. Christ!) I am curious to read it…but your review confirmed what I thought initially. I’ll wait to see it at the library. They’re gettin’no cash out of my pocket!

    Your post also made me think about the Big O issue, (my Big O issue I guess) and I think the way female orgasm is treated in romance novels can be detrimental to women who can’t get there with just a heavy hand on her knee. I felt like such an outcast for YEARS thanks to literature like you are talking about. I wish we had known each other when I was 20! (if I had a daughter, I’d buy her a sex toy for her 10th birthday.)

    Great post! Thanks!


    • Thanks Dawn. And I agree. They make it seem like everyone should be able to cum at the drop of a hat, with no extra stimulation at all. I once had a friend who wasn’t sure if she was actually having orgasms, because all she knew was romance novels and porn. Thought she should see stars everytime.

      And I have daughters (poor things, going to end up little perverts having a mother like me), and I don’t know about their 10th birthday, but maybe their 13th! 😉


      • Plus, maybe by thirteen, they will have already found their own “stairway to heaven” and you can save the yourself the time and money required for buying them sex toys!


        • And the ackwardness of course. Gotta love those weird moments. I remember when my mom put condoms in my easter basket when I was in junior high. I’m sure I was like, “Mooommmm! You are soooo uncool! This is sooo embarrassing!”

          Ah, well, I guess it will be my turn to be the uncool mom soon enough… *sigh*

  15. Can I just take issue with your protestation … the heroine is naive, a virgin (at 21, come the fuck on) … It’s not impossible y’know. (Or later still.)

    • Accidental, yes, dear, you’re right. There are a lot of 21 year old virgins. One of my dear friends from high school was a virgin well into her twenties, and then maybe even more. But, I find it unlikely that someone who has “saved” themselves, is simply going to fuck a guy who treats their viriginity as “a problem to be dealt with” as Grey does in the book. My thoughts, is that if someone is waiting to have sex, they are doing it for a reason, and aren’t just going to fuck the first thing that gives them a little excitement. idk. I was 14, so my judgement at that age is much different than a 21 year olds. *shugs, again*

      Hope all is well with you buddy! Sending *hugs and kisses* across the Atlantic…

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