Preface:  This is a dumb, ranty post.  I suggest not reading it.  Move forward at your own risk.  Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. ~LSAM

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Okay, okay, okay.  I know that everyone’s read it, and I know that everyone’s already thrown out their .02 on the matter.  Well, I’m doing it too.  Read or don’t, because it is what it is…

I’ve got a thing for romance novels.  I always have.  I read my first Johanna Lindsey novel in sixth grade, and I’ve been hooked ever since.  My favorites are mostly historical romances, which typically have an element of adventure and “bad boy whose really a knight in shining armor” in them.  I have read my fair share of modern romances, and *gasp* even a few Harlequins.  So, even though there was so much hype about 50 Shades of Grey, I knew that I would read it.

And I did.  Overall, it’s similar to most romance novels.  The heroine is naive, a virgin (at 21, come the fuck on).  She’s shy and has low self-esteem.  She’s not “beautiful” but pretty in her own way.  The male protagonist, like in many traditional romances, is a dark creature, a man who does his own thing, regardless of what society thinks, a rebel who knows how to make a girl swoon and melt and cum all at the same time.  Not much different from any Nora Roberts, Amanda Quick, Jude Devereux, etc…

What pisses me off more than anything, isn’t even this unrealistic reality that the story is set in, where she is a virgin and has only kissed two guys in her life, and where he has never had anything other than kinky sex.  That kind of stuff I almost expect from a romance novel.  It’s stupid, but it is common in the genre.  No, what pisses me off is how they present Grey’s interest in BDSM.

If you haven’t read the book, Grey is a Dom.  He was a sub when he was a teen, but has since always been involved in contracted D/s relationships.  And the reason he’s into the D/s scene is because he was somehow hurt in his past (I believe all this comes out in the third book in the series, but I’ve only read the first).  He refuses to allow any of his subs to touch him (per the negotiated contract), because of his past.  His mother was a crackhead and his early childhood was filled with abuse.  (How sad, right?  Well, you’ve got to develop empathy some way or another…)

And the way it is presented, this is what led him into BDSM.  This is why he likes to Dominate, why sex with Christen Grey must be kinky and rough and dirty.  Because he was abused.  What the fuck, people!?!  Like we don’t get enough misunderstanding and stereotypes in the lifestyle.  Like people don’t already see many of us as abusers and victims.  The first book in ages that brings BDSM to the spotlight, and the Dom is a fucked up wreck because he was abused as a child.  And it was the abuse that turned him to BDSM.

It. Pisses. Me. The. Fuck. Off.  I’ve never been abused, although I was raised in an abusive household, but I think that has nothing to do with what led me to BDSM.  I have two loving parents, although one is extremely narcissistic.  I think I was spanked once as a child.  M, he too, was raised by loving parents.  No abuse.  Typical American family.  Abuse has nothing, in my mind, to do with why we do what we do.  And it angers me to have BDSM portrayed that way.

And a quick rant about the first person speaker, Ana.  Yes, the 21 year old virgin, who knows nothing of BDSM.  First, the fucking chick is 21 years old and has never masturbated.  But, and this is a big  but, she has her first orgasm from nipple stimulation.  And she’s multi-orgasmic on the day she looses her virginity.  I’m not saying it can’t happen.  But I’m very orgasmic, and it took years of masturbation and play to be able to cum from nipple play.  Oh, and she can deep throat like there’s no tomorrow, yep, on the first time she ever has a cock in her mouth.  Bullshit.

And (I’m wrapping it up here, I promise) in the last scene of the book, the chick asks to be beat with a belt, so she can see if she can take it.  Six swings and she leaves him over it.  Come the fuck on, chick.  Six swings with a belt ain’t shit.  And you’re going to leave the man you love over it?  A man you know is a Dom?  A man you’ve asked to hit you with a belt as hard as he wants?  Six fucking hits.  Damn girly fucking pussy ass chick.

Okay.  Sorry for the indulgence of a book review.  *hugs and kisses*~LSAM