courtesy of tumblr

courtesy of tumblr

I’ve had these writing prompts floating around in my drafts for over a year. I came across them at Submissive Guide, which I’d recommend to anyone interested in D/s, both novices and those with more experience. LunaKM wrote a great explanation of how to use these prompts to grow and understand your own submission even more. So, without further ado, here we go.

1) Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

When I refer to my own submission, and M and I’s relationship, I typically talk about our “dynamic.” For me, and I’m thinking this may be very common as I’m sure I picked it up somewhere, when I mention a dynamic, I am speaking of a power exchange. As I mentioned before, I struggle to understand how a true power exchange, as I understand it, can occur in a casual relationship, because it requires a trust that goes beyond casual. A trust that not only incorporates one’s physical well-being, but their psychological self as well.

So what do I mean when I talk about my dynamic? It means that I am submissive and M is Dominate. I means that I desire to submit to his will and to please him. I say desire, because there is a deep craving somewhere inside me that wants this badly. Sometimes, I don’t succeed. Sometimes I’m bitchy and bratty. This morning for example. This morning, I didn’t want to get up. M let me sleep in, coming to wake me about and hour and half after the kiddos were up. But I didn’t want to get up. I whined and bitched and I think I may have even raised my voice, telling him I didn’t give a fuck if he thought it was time for me to get up or not. Even after I finally managed to get out of bed, I was still pissy when I came down stairs, mouthing off and being ignorant.

courtesy of tumblr

courtesy of tumblr

And see, the worst part of that whole scenario… That girl, the bitchy one who hates to get up in the morning, that’s not who I want to be. Hell, I don’t want to be the one who gets to sleep in *well… maybe* because I want to give him that gift, the gift of a few more hours of sleep. I want to give him any gift I can. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant. I want to shower him with love and desire, joy and affection. I want to serve him, put his needs before my own. Again, I don’t always succeed, but most times I try. And I’ve got a lifetime to learn to do it better.

Our D/s relationship, as many of you may know, spills heavily out of the bedroom. It doesn’t leak into every aspect of our lives, I still do my own thing at work, even when it angers him, and there are other areas as well that he does not maintain control over. M does not have the desire to control what I do. Instead, he concentrates on things that make me a better mother, a better wife, a better person overall.

And while we do partake in some punishment, I can not truly say that we participate in Domestic Discipline, although there are probably enough aspects of it in our dynamic to do so (for a fantastic explanation of domestic discipline, check this out). It’s kind of the same with Taken in Hand, but I must say, even though we don’t identify as this, it rings true to me, to what I want my submission to be (here is my favorite description of TiH). After writing this, I think I’m going to have to explore both of these D/s branches, as they both have facets I’d like to incorporate into my submission.

Have shown this one before, but I love it! M and I, in the middle of a rather intense scene.

Have shown this one before, but I love it! M and I, in the middle of a rather intense scene.

And our personal labels for each other, well they tend to be Daddy and toy, although titles such as Sir and slut have permanent spots in our lexicon. I think Daddy and toy fit us well. M, although he doesn’t label himself as such, has many characteristics of a Daddy Dom (fantastic definition here). He’s loving and caring. He often focuses on my pleasure and is overly appeasing. I know in the deepest part of my soul that he always has my best interest at heart.

And me, I am his toy. Here for his pleasure. For him to play with. For him to enjoy. I am his. To do with as he pleases. To take any way, any time.

So there you go. The first of my 30 days of submission. Probably take a year for me finish the damn thing, but no matter how long the journey, it always begins with the first step.

And because he’s such a good Sir, here is current favorite new song…