When I’m Gone

When I’m gone from you, away somewhere else, it’s like my mind can’t think of anything but you.

The sight of you, shirt off, working in the yard, the sun shinning on your bronzed skin, fixates in my head and distracts me from what I should be doing. I think of the feel of your hands, wrapped around my waist as you lift me for a welcome home kiss. I’m overwhelmed by memories of the smell of your skin as I nuzzle against you and drift off to sleep.

These thoughts of you invade my senses and make my mind drift to secret places between the two of us. Places where your teeth scrape the skin on the back of my neck or my nails dig into the flesh of your ass, pulling you deeper inside of me. Being away from you makes me remember places like the sixth hole on the golf course or the room beneath the stairs, places that share our secret rendezvouses.

It makes me crave your touch. Your hands soft at one moment, loving and caressing, then punishing the next, rough in my hair and on my breasts.

It makes me want your mouth on mine, demanding I open to your will. I want to feel your lips move down my body, over my collarbone, to my nipples, where you linger and play. Down to my stomach, over my hips until you settle between my legs and your mouth captures my sole attention.

I miss the whole of your body, warm and hard against mine as you take me, overpower my will and my desire, until I want nothing but to serve and please you and be yours.

You make me forget myself, who I am and what I want, making me want nothing but you.

If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine you on top of me, your hands pinning mine above my head, taking whatever you want from me, for all of me is yours to take.

I can feel you behind me, your chest pressed against my back, the weight of your body a welcomed pressure as you push into me, stretching me to fit your girth. Slow and steady, even when I buck against you, pushing you to take me harder, you withhold, taking your time, relishing in the joining of your body and mine, torturing me with your slow strokes and soft touches.

And then you let go, fucking me like I want, until I am nothing but putty in your hands, weak from the ecstasy of bodily joy, a toy to be used in any way you want for your pleasure.

Just thinking of this, of you, it makes me clench, makes my heart race and my pussy moisten. I makes me want to drop to my knees in front of you and take you deep into my mouth until I can’t breath around you. Until the whole of my existence revolves around you and your cock and your will.

But tonight, release will not come to me. Tonight, I will fall asleep with you on my mind, wishing you were in my body. Tonight, I’ll sleep with a shirt that still smells of you, wrapping my body around it, and dream of you and the pleasures that I’ll find tomorrow.

I miss you, Sir. Have sweet, sweet dreams. And I’ll see you tomorrow evening. xoxo.

Masturbation Monday #51

MM Badge

There’s nothing better than watching a man touch himself. A grip that’s both soft and hard, squeezing and caressing at the same time. It’s the true epitome of what it is to be a man, hard and in control, yet with a soft touch where it counts.

I can’t say that I’ve ever truly watched myself masturbate, although I’ve seen clips that M has caught here and there. But those masturbation sessions are always for him, and tend to be much different than when I masturbate alone.

I wonder if there’s the same dichotomy, the soft and hard. The rough and gentle. I know when my right hand works between my legs, my left has a tendency to travel northward to play at my nipple. As one hand moves quicker, the other becomes rougher, pinching and pulling, until it has my back arching off the bed.

I wonder if it’s just as erotic to watch my fingers play between the folds of my pussy, finding their way, pulling at pleasure until it washes over me as it is to watch Him stoke His cock.  Movements that could be mimicked, the up and down becomes the in and out, the round and round, finding the same rhythm, the ebb and flow of the body’s pleasure. The body moves with the same intent, the building of pleasure, then the search for release.

A thumb brushed over my clit reminds me of the palm swiped across the head of a cock, each sending thousands of stimulated responses to the core. A slight pull on His balls makes me want to tug on the edges of my lips, encouraging them to swell with blood and lust.

The pace quickens and the body responds, lengthening, pressure mounting until it’s rigid and ready, as if it’s preparing for a battle.

Tension rises, becoming almost unbearable, almost painful, as hands move faster and harder. And then there’s the breaking point.

Where the world stops.

There is no breathing.

There is no air.

There is only release.

And the waves crest. Then break. And the few moments of impeccable bliss are soon replaced with a rush of air, a slowing hand, a weight lifted from the body and mind that it didn’t know it was carrying.

I wonder is it the same? The carnal touches of pleasure and release? If my body became His, and His mine, could I gain the same response? Bring it the same pleasure? Do hands intuitively know what to do, know how to touch, how to enthrall the body?

*sigh* I guess I’ll never know.

But I know I’ll never stop enjoying the view.


Inspired by Kayla Lords’ Masturbation Monday.


If you’re looking for some mid-morning Monday rubdown material, check out this week’s submissions.

What Is Relationship Priority?

Relationship priority. It’s a concept that many of us may never have heard of, but it’s been on my mind for awhile now.

It’s something I’d never heard of until a few years back, when I went out with Paige. If you read back then, you remember it didn’t go quite as expected.

But after my date and the aftermath that followed, my dear old friend Lily Lloyd from the former A Black Leather Belt (RIP Lily, wherever you are) brought relationship priority to my attention.

If you’re a married couple, or have primarily only been involved in traditional heterosexual relationships, relationship priority is going to be an odd concept, one which, on the surface, you’re not going to see an issue with.

After all, it’s what we’ve been taught since we started thinking about boys and girls and first dates and the birds and the bees. It’s been ingrained in us since day one.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

What Is Relationship Priority?

When you’re polyamorous, you love and have relationships with more than one person. And each of these relationships are different and special in their own way.

And equal. And therefore should be treated as such.

This is where those of us who have only been in monogamous relationships brains glitch.

Let me give an example for clarification:

There’s M and I, in a long-term, previously monogamous relationship with children. We live together and share financial responsibility. We decide we want to open our marriage and date other people. 

We get involved with A and start to date. There’s new love and butterflies and the excitement that new relationships bring.

On a random night, I’m out of town, and A is coming over to hang out with M. We have always been a couple with A, and M has never been one on one with her. 

Feeling insecure, I tell M that I don’t want him having sex with A if I’m not there. 

Now, to those of us in monogamous marriages or partnerships, or to many that have considered having threesomes in the past, this may make sense.

I don’t want my partner fucking another chick if I’m not around. He’s my partner.

But he’s also A’s.

And A is in a relationship too.

Now take a moment and put yourself in A’s shoes. How does she feel? Like she’s not as important? That she’s a prop instead of a partner? Either way, she gets the raw end of the deal.

And this, my friends, is one of the main reasons many poly singles don’t like to get involved with couples. Because we always put each other, and our singular relationship, first.

The Point, I Guess

There was a point to this, and I guess it’s this: if you are considering opening your marriage up, and opening it up to more than just casual sex, both “primary” partners need to understand that things are going to change.

As new relationships grow and develop, the primary relationship will change as well. And that’s okay. If you want this to work, you have to let it. There are times you may feel hurt. Jealous. Insecure. Talk to your partner about these feelings, seek reassurance, and learn to trust and move forward.

It’s unfair to be in a relationship with someone and not take his or her needs into consideration. You need to make change and accommodate your new partner as much as you do with your primary partner.

So if you think you may want to open up and date other people, either as a couple or as singles, talk about relationship priority before it happens. Think of how it can manifest without you realizing it and ways that you can keep it at bay.

This will not only help your new relationships grow, but it can help to strengthen your primary relationship as well.

10 Things You Can Learn from Porn

I think porn gets a bad rep.

I happen to like porn. A lot. And apparently so does most of America. And yet we judge porn watching people all the time. And nobody admits to it, but come the fuck on folks, it’s estimated that 40 million Americans watch porn regularly.

And I get that people have hang-ups with porn. Things like safe sex, the objectification of women (how come no one’s worried about the objectification of men in porn? I, myself, love objectifying a nice hard cock), drug use, under age girls, and the list goes on and on.

But there’s good things in porn too. Not only does it get us off when we need a helping hand, but it can bring couples closer and help them to explore new and previously unexplored history.

So here’s a short list I compiled of things that we can all learn from porn.

Kissing Is Good

After the intro, most porns start with kissing. It may be opened mouth and it may be sloppy, but it’s amazing to me how many couples go days without ever kissing each other, even when they do fuck. But you should. Kissing not only is a great way to kick in foreplay, but it also reduces stress and lets you focus on the moment and quiet the rest of your mind.

The Order of Events

In most porns, there’s a specific order of events. First kissing and touching. Then some pussy licking, followed by a blow job, and then the couple moves onto fucking. Well, that’s about exactly how most sex sessions should play out if there’s enough time. Get her warmed up. Get her pussy wet. Get her off. Then the blow job. This gets him hard right before sex. If you suck his cock first, there’s a good chance he’ll loss his erection when he’s going down on you. Do things in this order, and not only will her pussy still be wet and ready, but his cock will be hard as steel for the grand finale.

Get Vocal

The sounds of sex are arousing, not only to your partner, but to the moaner as well. You don’t have to be explicit and vulgar if it makes you uncomfortable, talking about pussy and cock and what not, and you don’t have to fake it (please don’t actually), but make same damn noise. Give into it, moan, gasp, say how good it feels. I promise, once you get used to it, you’ll love it and your sex life will get hotter.

Switch It Up

Yes some of us may start with her on top and then move to missionary, but in porn, they’re always switching positions and moving around. When you’re fucking, fuck. Move around. Flip over. Contort yourself into different positions. Make a mess out of the sheets. A fucked in bed should look like it survived a tornado and avalanche, not just have the comforter out of place.

Touch Yourself

In porn, both women and men touch themselves, and they do it a lot. Whether it’s masturbating for him, or stroking himself a bit while she gets on all fours, it’s sexy as hell to watch someone touch themselves. Not only is hot, but it lets your partner know you’re having a good time and into what’s going on.

A Little Bit of Spit Isn’t a Bad Thing

The truth of the matter is sex is better when it’s wet. It doesn’t need to be dripping wet, but it shouldn’t be the Sahara either. And sometimes the lube machine attached to a woman’s vagina doesn’t work well and a little bit of help is appreciated. And you know what, spit is just about perfect to add that little bit of help. It’s easy, it’s handy, and it makes things oh so much better. So don’t be afraid to get some spit on your fingers or the head of your cock before fucking. It’s okay. Really. **PSA: Ladies, don’t freak out if he does this. He’s not degrading you. He’s trying to fuck you and make it feel better. Get over yourself.**

And Neither Is a Smack on the Ass

Now I know not everybody’s not necessarily into whips and chains, but a little unexpected rough play can turn mediocre sex into great sex. Now, “a little unexpected rough play” can mean a little bit of a hair pull, a not too hard smack to the ass, or nails raked down his back. It does not mean hold her down without permission, it does not mean wrap your hand around her neck and squeeze, and it doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. It means a little ass smack is okay. So’s a quick fist in the hair. Use your common sense here people.

Go With the Flow

Random things happen during sex, and while porn cuts most of that out (after all there’s a director there to let you know you’re about to fall out of bed), things still happen. If his cock slips out while fucking, so what, grab the beast and put it back in. If your bra strap breaks while your in reverse cowgirl, who cares? Take it off and keep on bouncing. Go with the flow, don’t worry about the small stuff, and see where the night takes you.

She Cums First

Ah, the old adage. But come on guys, it’s true. Get her off before you cum. Please. And if you don’t, do it afterwards. Perhaps this is one of the most important things you can learn from porn, and it is so important. It doesn’t really matter if you do it with your fingers, with your tongue, or with your cock, just make sure she gets her piece of the pie too.

It’s Supposed to Be Fun

Remember, sex is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to put a smile on your face and a wet spot on your sheets. Let it be. Don’t stress about the stupid shit like the little bit of dimpling on your thighs or the fact that you’re make up may be smeared. Fuck that. Throw yourself into the depths of great sex and fuck like it’s your last chance.

So those are my list of 10 things you can learn from porn. Do you have anything to add?

May In a Nut Shell

Yo People. I fell off the face of the Earth.


Sorry. It’s been a busy month. Planting season. And we put in two more vegetable gardens and an herb garden. And that means lots of time outside and a great tan for it being just the end of May.

Earlier in the month, M and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. And it was good. So, so good. It involved a kick ass hotel suite, some molly, and a whole lot of fun, fun touching and fucking and fucking and touching. Oh, and a bit of licking and sucking too.

The day before that, I went to the opera with Lynn, and as we were leaving, there were these gay boys in front of us, and it was wonderful to see to men (cute men at that) walking down a city street holding hands. In my small town, you don’t really see things like that.

Deviant Art

Deviant Art

And then just this past Friday, after spending a ridiculous amount of time in a Catholic Cathedral, listening to the Bishop talk and talk and talk for a good hour longer than necessary, M and I drank our way home from the city.

Then we stopped at our local club for a shot and few drinks. By the time we left, we were very eager to get home.

By the time we ended up in bed, we had a nice long fuck session with a set of soaked sheets to follow. And then one thing led to another and after we were done, M was still rock hard. Rock fucking hard.

And how is a toy supposed to ignore that shit.

No. Fucking. Way.

So before long, I had him deep in my mouth, his cock hitting the back of my throat. His hands drifted between my legs, fluids running down my thighs.

Moments passed and soon his cock was pressing into my ass. And it had been so long. So damn long.

But if felt so fucking good.

And we fucked and fucked for the second time.

Anyway. Just wanted to touch base. Things are good.

And hot.

And I hate missing a full month on the blog. Not seeing it come up grates on my nerves and, after the fact, there’s no way for me to fix it, so here we are. Me hurriedly typing away, trying to get this out before midnight. Just for a May from here on out.

Peace out y’all.

I promise there’s more to cum!


Diary Entry 1: Sorting My Shit Out

Preface: Nothing but rambling as I work out my thoughts. Just warning y’all.

As a writer, I’m always focused on word counts and deadlines and productivity, so when it comes to writing for me, writing to sort my own shit out, I tend to avoid it, almost because I feel it’s a waste of words. Words that should be put towards assignments, looming deadlines, works in progress, or at least here on the blog.

And in the past, I did a lot of my emotional shit sorting here. At least it’s not words written into nothing but the wind. But since the very beginning of this thing with Lynn, I haven’t used the blog much to organize my mind and heart about the situation, to spew all the nonsensical chaos in my head. Instead I held it in, try to sort it out inside my mind, which only left me cloudy and confused.

Two weeks ago, I finally sat down and vomited my words onto paper. And after ten pages of handwritten fears and joys and doubts and wants, it was then that I decided it was time to end the sexual aspect of M’s and my relationship with Lynn.

Not because it wasn’t fantastic. Not because it wasn’t fun. But because my heart was too involved. After a night when, for a variety of reasons, Lynn decided to go home instead of stay, I found myself in tears, broken-hearted and let down, wanting nothing more to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep.

Obviously, I don’t do casual well. Instead of fucking with my body, I tend to do it with my heart.

And I knew then that it had to end. Two days later, I explained to her that I loved her too much for us to keep fucking. That things were complicated in her life, and I was adding to those complications and I didn’t want to do that. This thing we were doing was supposed to be about fun, not stress. I told her that our friendship was too important to me, and although I loved licking her pussy, I loved her in my life more.

She understood and even thanked me, knowing what I said was true. And we continued through that week with no real complications, engaging daily, doing yoga together, and going about the things we always do. Until the three of us got drunk together that Friday night at Lynn’s house and ended up in bed yet again.

And I don’t regret that. Not one bit. But a part of me was pissed. Through this whole thing, the ball has always been in Lynn’s court. She made the decisions of when it would happen or when it wouldn’t. She could back out or jump in whenever she wanted. M and I were fine with that. She was the third. She was in a complicated life situation. Ultimately, if and when anything would happen, it was on her.

But when I made my decision to end it, I did so because I needed to have some control over the situation. I needed to protect my heart. We all knew this was going to be a short lived affair, and it was adding extra complications to both Lynn’s life and our friendship.

But then last Friday happened, and my head and my heart got all fucked up again.

And then this week, things happened in Lynn’s life that made it official. And while it made my heart dreadfully sad for my loss, it was expected, and in many ways it was a good thing.

But what I didn’t expect was that when I lost the sexual part of our relationship, I would lose more as well.

Without even realizing it, our relationship changed  in more ways than just the bedroom. While we have been best friends for over 15 years, through these last few months she became more of a primary figure in my life.

Since the beginning of January, I’ve been the closest person to her. And, other than M, she’s been the closest person to me. We talked every morning, every night before bed, and multiple times in between. I was the shoulder she cried on and the hand she reached for when she was down. We have literally talked every single day since before the first time we shared a bed.

And it wasn’t until right now, as I’m typing out these thoughts, that I realize I am no longer that person for her and I think that is a huge part of my heart ache. And I wasn’t prepared for that. I did not make the realization that as she moved on, that aspect of our friendship would no longer be needed.

And I’m happy for that. I’m happy that she’s now in a position where she does not need to lean on me. But it was more than her leaning on me. It was me leaning on her, as well. It was me looking forward to her messages and calls. Getting excited to see her and hang out, even when it was solely platonic, which truly was the majority of the time.

And so it’s for these change in the friendship that I hurt the most for. It’s because even though she may not need me that way, I may still need her.

And that loss is making me emotional. And for those few of you who know me on a more personal level, you know I’m already overly emotional. I love and I love hard and I’m quick to react when it comes to those I care about. I believe “visceral” has been used more than once to describe my behaviors.

And I understand this about myself. But then I look at this situation and how I’m responding, it makes me question too much. It makes my long held insecurities rise to the surface of my mind where they start beating up on my psyche.

Because I’ve always loved Lynn. Friends since before college, we’ve seen each other through some tough times. But once these things between us started, my love for her deepened to a new level. I’m not necessarily saying I am in love with her, but I love her more than before, and I don’t think that will lessen.

Yet now when I go to pick up my phone first thing in the morning to wish her a good day, doubts rise and I question if I should. Is this inappropriate now? Do “normal” friends do such things? Am I being obnoxious? Am I like a lost puppy dog, sad and pathetic?

And these thoughts lead to worse thoughts and it makes me wonder about our fling, about how our friendship changed. It makes me question motives and agendas, which I never questioned until now. It makes me wonder if it was me she wanted or if she just was seeking the experience. Perhaps it was the desire to fuck a new man or just something to fill the void while life worked itself out.

And while I don’t think any of that is true, honestly, because she has given me no inkling of such things, it doesn’t matter if it is. It was still a great time with a great friend that I will cherish forever. But yet these insecurities riddle my mind and hurt my heart and fuck with my head in a way I don’t like.

I’ve got to pull my shit together and get my head on straight. I’ve got to do it for me. I’ve got to do it for M. And I’ve got to do it for Lynn.

I just quite haven’t figured out the quickest way to do it yet.


Damn girl drama.

Silent Tears

My mind tried to cry itself to sleep tonight, and the tears burned my eyes unexpectedly. Now, I sit and punch out cathartic words I wish you wouldn’t see.

Tears come so sparingly to me any more that I almost forgot what it felt like to weep, truly weep and let the tears flood over me, washing away the things that can never be.

Because it doesn’t matter what my desires are; these things are not mine to hold on to, no matter how badly I want them.

And what will bring light to the situation is not me, or us, or this, but clarity, instead of the hazy fog we brew together. For that haze makes everything murky and confusing and dreadfully wonderful.

It creates the illusion of an alternate reality where we could be. Cozy and warm and away from the world.

But it is only an illusion.

And not the right path.

But oh how I wish it were.

This was never to be a matter of the heart.

Yet when the heart is already involved, when love already exists, who are we to tell it what it can and can not do. It acts on its own accord and follows whatever whim it chooses. And the whim it always chooses is to grow.

It should have stayed out of it.

Because then my eyes would be closed. My pillow would be dry. And the knowledge that sooner or later my heart will be broken would not be on my mind.

The Real Way to Eat Pussy

It was years ago when I wrote the tutorials about blow jobs and I always intended on doing one on how to eat pussy, but it had been so long, I feared I wouldn’t know what to talk about or how to give appropriate instruction.

Yet after the first night with Lynn, I started doing some research on the best way to go down on a girl. And you want to know what I learned?

Absolutely nothing.

That’s right. From Men’s Health to Maxim, every single article I read was full of shit and useless information, at least if you are anything other than a 15 year old boy.

So I’ve decided to help solve the problem and put together some information about the best strategies for performing cunnilingus.

I’m making my own list and I want you to help too! Make sure to comment and let me know how you make eating pussy a sky-rocketing experience.

The Right Way to Eat Pussy

Expect Differences

First things first. Every woman’s pussy is different. They look different. They smell different. They taste different. They feel different. And different things feel good to different pussies.

If a woman’s vajayjay is different than what you’ve seen before, don’t panic or get weird. It’s okay. It’s still a vagina and still works the same way. Different is good.

Forget What You See in Porn

If you’ve been a regular here at LSAM for any length of time,

you probably know I have a deep love for porn. If not, well guess what? I love porn.

But you want to know what I hate? I hate watching a guy (or girl) going down on another girl. I abso-fucking-lutely hate it. It seems porn has created its  own version of cunnilingus which is focused more on camera angles instead of actual pleasure.

So if you’re eating pussy like you see in the movies with your tongue out and pointed, barely touching the clit, your face three inches away from everything, I hate to tell you, but you’re doing it wrong.

When you’re really going down on a girl, and you’re doing it good, you need to bury your face in her cunt. From nose to chin, get in there and get up in it. Put her clit between your lips, suck her labia into your mouth, put your whole tongue inside her as deep as you can. Whatever you do, just get down in there and your bury your face in it.


Every woman is different, so if you know this specific trick that worked great for your ex-girlfriend, don’t assume it will work for the girl in your bed now. Try it, for sure, but learn some other tricks in case she doesn’t like it.

Here’s a few I swear by:

  • Lick all around her clit. Don’t just focus on the clit, but pay attention to underneath, both sides, and the top. Lick outside her hood, making the skin massage her clit. Clits are sensitive and sometimes the sensation of direct stimulation is too much. Figure out where she likes it, and play there.
  • Vary the pressure. While you’re playing, vary the pressure and shape of your tongue. Go long and skinny and tickle her with it. Switch to short and relaxed and lap at her. The tongue can feel so many different ways and you may be surprised to find out what really gets her going.

  • Penetrate her. Make your tongue as stiff as you can and penetrate her with it. Some women love it when you draw in and out, fucking her. Others like it when you just lick as deep as you can. Either way, there’s nothing quite like having your tongue in a woman’s pussy, so go ahead and give it a try.
  • Lick from top to bottom. Draw your tongue from below the bottom of her pussy all the way up to the top. The whole of a woman’s vulva is sensitive and there may be secret spots that feel extra good. Personally, I love when a tongue plays with the small area at the bottom of my slit. It drives me freaking crazy. The point is, explore her. Spread her lips, touch her everywhere.
  • Suck with care. You’ve got to be careful with this one, especially when it comes to the clit. I’m willing to guess that most women can enjoy a gentle clit sucking, but suck too hard on some and it hurts like hell. Others love it when you draw the whole thing into your mouth and suck like there’s no tomorrow. Play easy and follow her responses. If in doubt, ask.
  • Get your hands involved. Now I can’t speak for every woman, but I can tell you one of the easiest, surest ways to get me off is to lick my clit while you finger my pussy. It never not works. Even if she doesn’t want you to finger her, there’s lots you can be doing with your hands. Massage her ass, lifting her up to your mouth. Reach up and play with her nipples, pulling them in time with your licks. Wrap your arms under and over her thighs and hold her legs wide, making sure she’s spread open for you. Wrap your arms over her hips and waist, holding her in place. It doesn’t really matter what you do with them, just do something.

The point is play around. See what she likes, watch how her body reacts, learn to play her like she’s an instrument.

Ask and Encourage

If you really want to know what she likes, ask her. If she’s hesitant to tell, wait until you’re between her thighs, get her panting, and then ask her. Tell her you love to watch her cum and you want to make sure does.

Take It Slow

Remember, cunnilingus is not an eating contest.

It’s doesn’t need to be devoured like fast food. Instead, treat it like a five-course meal. Take your time and savor the taste of her in your mouth. The way her skin feels against your tongue. Take your time and tease her with your mouth. Make her quiver and quake. Believe me, she’ll love it.

Enjoy It

Sex, regardless of its form, is meant to be enjoyed. Don’t stress out too much about eating her pussy. Instead, sit back and reveal in it. Have fun. Laugh and play. The best sex is sex you can laugh during.

If you focus too much on trying to get her off and she knows it, it’s going to be counter productive. She’s going to be under pressure to cum, which will most definitely make it more difficult for her to do so. Instead of focusing on the “end result,” focus on the act and the giving and the sensations. If you’re relaxed and enjoying it, she’ll be relaxed and enjoy it too.

Your Turn

So, there’s my wordy thoughts on giving head to a girl. What do you think folks? What am I missing? Do you have any tricks of the trade you want to share? What about you ladies? What gets you off best?

Masturbation Monday : Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I’m sure by now y’all know Kayla Lords and her Masturbation Monday meme. Whenever I’ve participate in it in the past, I’ve always written little bits of erotica.

But oh my fucking god, this week I’m rendered speechless. Here’s the inspirational gif she used for this week’s theme.

Masturbation Monday Week 30

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I’m sorry to say it again, but I can’t help it. This is amazing.

First, this is one gorgeous cock. Mouth watering, nipple tightening, pussy clenching gorgeous.

I’m seriously so distracted by his movement, it’s hard to type.

I love his hard grip, the way his fingers squeeze the tip of his cock tighter on the end of his upstroke. I love the looseness of his hand at the bottom of the down stroke.

I love the little squeeze he gives the whole base.

Oh my god. I’m drooling.

I want nothing more than to bend down on this cock and take it in my mouth. Swallow it deep in the back of my throat and gag on it.

I want to swirl my tongue around its swollen head, teasing it with my mouth.

I want hands in my hair, forcing me to take it harder and faster than is comfortable.

I want to sit down on it, slowly taking it into me, my wetness coating the velvety skin, as I slip down to the base.

I’d wait there just a moment, allow myself time to adjust to the girth and length of him. Then I’d start my ride.

Sliding up and down on his cock, it wouldn’t take long before we’d be slick with my juices. My direction changes, moving to grind against him, my back arched so my clit presses against his flesh.

As my pace increases, my hips thrusting back and forth, his strong hands reach up to pinch my nipples, twisting them hard between his fingers. With a low growl, he thrusts up and causes me to explode, spasming on his cock, getting lost in the pleasure and pain he’s creating.

Before my crests subside, he rolls us over, pulls his cock out of my pussy, moves it to my mouth and strokes just like he is here, only harder and faster. My mouth opens and a moment before he begins to cum, he pushes between my lips and hot jets of his cum swarm into my mouth and down my throat as he thrusts, two, three, four times before pulling back and out of my mouth, his cock bobbing in appreciation.

Mmmm… Yes. Masturbation Monday indeed.

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Go see what everyone else is rubbing one down to this week.

Trust: The One Thing a Woman Needs to Be Submissive

It’s not kink.

It’s not a man with an Alpha gene.

It’s trust. Pure and simple.

A dear friend of mine is struggling in her marriage. Recently separated, but still together, it’s almost painful to watch what they’re doing to each other.

Just the other day, we were talking and discussing how she needs him to “Dom up.” Now she didn’t necessarily mean that he should grab her by the hair, force her to her knees, and make her gag on his cock (although I don’t think she’d mind that). No. She meant it in a more meaningful way.

She needs him to man up and take care of her and their life. She doesn’t want to completely let go, but she wants to know she’s taken care of. She wants to know that when she can’t be strong, he can.

She understands that sometimes, she needs someone to put her in her place, instead of just going along with what she says to “keep the peace.” She needs a man that can take her by the hand and point out her errors in thinking. Someone who encourages her to make positive changes, and helps her deal with overcoming the negative.

And when she can’t do that, when she struggles, she needs a man who can make it happen, one way or another. A man who will do what needs to be done.

And I was thinking about this later that night. The problem with the man in her life is that even if he stepped up and started doing this things, it wouldn’t matter. She feels he has let her down so many times in the past, in too many ways, that there is no more trust in their relationship. Oh, she trusts that he’s not fucking around. She trusts that he loves her. But she doesn’t trust that he’ll be there for her or that he’ll follow through with what he says. And because these things have happened so often in the past, she struggles to let them go and move forward.

So even if he “Dom’s up,” it won’t fix the situation that they’re in. Because she doesn’t trust him. She doesn’t trust that he won’t drop the ball. She doesn’t trust him to keep his promises. And he doesn’t know what to do to make it better. And they’re stuck in this horrible cycle that just seems to continue and continue.

And right now, this friend is extremely vulnerable. Separated from the man she’s been with for the last 17 years, she wants nothing more than to move forward with him by her side, but how can she when there’s no trust? How can she when she fears letting down her guard, because every time she does, he lets her down?

Trust, people. It’s so important. On so many different levels.

The same day we had this conversation, I was reading this post over at Desiring Discipline (one of M’s favorite blogs btw) and it got me thinking about this more and more and what an important aspect trust is to submission.

There is no way a woman can ever truly be submissive unless she trusts the person towering over her. She must trust Him with her safety. With her body. With her mind. Because these things are literally in the palm of His hand. He can damage her body. He can crush her psyche. He can take her soul.

A woman must trust Him to make decisions that are in her best interest, even when she doesn’t like it. She must know that when He says something, she needs to obey, because He is always thinking about her and the relationship that binds them together. He may require things of her that she doesn’t want to do, but will do because of her submission. She must trust, always, that His actions serve a greater purpose. His purpose.

To be submissive, you must make yourself vulnerable. You’ve got to let go of the need to control. You’ve got to stop worrying about your own needs, and trust that your Sir will take care of them.

Because He will. Because that’s what a Dom does.

It takes a strong man to be a Sir.


Sorry for the random ramble. I’m just thinking out loud. Working out things in my head.

What do you think about trust? How do you move past this type of letdown? How do you let go of the pain and anger and be able to heal? Be able to trust in that one person again?