Diary Entry 1: Sorting My Shit Out

Preface: Nothing but rambling as I work out my thoughts. Just warning y’all.

As a writer, I’m always focused on word counts and deadlines and productivity, so when it comes to writing for me, writing to sort my own shit out, I tend to avoid it, almost because I feel it’s a waste of words. Words that should be put towards assignments, looming deadlines, works in progress, or at least here on the blog.

And in the past, I did a lot of my emotional shit sorting here. At least it’s not words written into nothing but the wind. But since the very beginning of this thing with Lynn, I haven’t used the blog much to organize my mind and heart about the situation, to spew all the nonsensical chaos in my head. Instead I held it in, try to sort it out inside my mind, which only left me cloudy and confused.

Two weeks ago, I finally sat down and vomited my words onto paper. And after ten pages of handwritten fears and joys and doubts and wants, it was then that I decided it was time to end the sexual aspect of M’s and my relationship with Lynn.

Not because it wasn’t fantastic. Not because it wasn’t fun. But because my heart was too involved. After a night when, for a variety of reasons, Lynn decided to go home instead of stay, I found myself in tears, broken-hearted and let down, wanting nothing more to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep.

Obviously, I don’t do casual well. Instead of fucking with my body, I tend to do it with my heart.

And I knew then that it had to end. Two days later, I explained to her that I loved her too much for us to keep fucking. That things were complicated in her life, and I was adding to those complications and I didn’t want to do that. This thing we were doing was supposed to be about fun, not stress. I told her that our friendship was too important to me, and although I loved licking her pussy, I loved her in my life more.

She understood and even thanked me, knowing what I said was true. And we continued through that week with no real complications, engaging daily, doing yoga together, and going about the things we always do. Until the three of us got drunk together that Friday night at Lynn’s house and ended up in bed yet again.

And I don’t regret that. Not one bit. But a part of me was pissed. Through this whole thing, the ball has always been in Lynn’s court. She made the decisions of when it would happen or when it wouldn’t. She could back out or jump in whenever she wanted. M and I were fine with that. She was the third. She was in a complicated life situation. Ultimately, if and when anything would happen, it was on her.

But when I made my decision to end it, I did so because I needed to have some control over the situation. I needed to protect my heart. We all knew this was going to be a short lived affair, and it was adding extra complications to both Lynn’s life and our friendship.

But then last Friday happened, and my head and my heart got all fucked up again.

And then this week, things happened in Lynn’s life that made it official. And while it made my heart dreadfully sad for my loss, it was expected, and in many ways it was a good thing.

But what I didn’t expect was that when I lost the sexual part of our relationship, I would lose more as well.

Without even realizing it, our relationship changed  in more ways than just the bedroom. While we have been best friends for over 15 years, through these last few months she became more of a primary figure in my life.

Since the beginning of January, I’ve been the closest person to her. And, other than M, she’s been the closest person to me. We talked every morning, every night before bed, and multiple times in between. I was the shoulder she cried on and the hand she reached for when she was down. We have literally talked every single day since before the first time we shared a bed.

And it wasn’t until right now, as I’m typing out these thoughts, that I realize I am no longer that person for her and I think that is a huge part of my heart ache. And I wasn’t prepared for that. I did not make the realization that as she moved on, that aspect of our friendship would no longer be needed.

And I’m happy for that. I’m happy that she’s now in a position where she does not need to lean on me. But it was more than her leaning on me. It was me leaning on her, as well. It was me looking forward to her messages and calls. Getting excited to see her and hang out, even when it was solely platonic, which truly was the majority of the time.

And so it’s for these change in the friendship that I hurt the most for. It’s because even though she may not need me that way, I may still need her.

And that loss is making me emotional. And for those few of you who know me on a more personal level, you know I’m already overly emotional. I love and I love hard and I’m quick to react when it comes to those I care about. I believe “visceral” has been used more than once to describe my behaviors.

And I understand this about myself. But then I look at this situation and how I’m responding, it makes me question too much. It makes my long held insecurities rise to the surface of my mind where they start beating up on my psyche.

Because I’ve always loved Lynn. Friends since before college, we’ve seen each other through some tough times. But once these things between us started, my love for her deepened to a new level. I’m not necessarily saying I am in love with her, but I love her more than before, and I don’t think that will lessen.

Yet now when I go to pick up my phone first thing in the morning to wish her a good day, doubts rise and I question if I should. Is this inappropriate now? Do “normal” friends do such things? Am I being obnoxious? Am I like a lost puppy dog, sad and pathetic?

And these thoughts lead to worse thoughts and it makes me wonder about our fling, about how our friendship changed. It makes me question motives and agendas, which I never questioned until now. It makes me wonder if it was me she wanted or if she just was seeking the experience. Perhaps it was the desire to fuck a new man or just something to fill the void while life worked itself out.

And while I don’t think any of that is true, honestly, because she has given me no inkling of such things, it doesn’t matter if it is. It was still a great time with a great friend that I will cherish forever. But yet these insecurities riddle my mind and hurt my heart and fuck with my head in a way I don’t like.

I’ve got to pull my shit together and get my head on straight. I’ve got to do it for me. I’ve got to do it for M. And I’ve got to do it for Lynn.

I just quite haven’t figured out the quickest way to do it yet.


Damn girl drama.

Silent Tears

My mind tried to cry itself to sleep tonight, and the tears burned my eyes unexpectedly. Now, I sit and punch out cathartic words I wish you wouldn’t see.

Tears come so sparingly to me any more that I almost forgot what it felt like to weep, truly weep and let the tears flood over me, washing away the things that can never be.

Because it doesn’t matter what my desires are; these things are not mine to hold on to, no matter how badly I want them.

And what will bring light to the situation is not me, or us, or this, but clarity, instead of the hazy fog we brew together. For that haze makes everything murky and confusing and dreadfully wonderful.

It creates the illusion of an alternate reality where we could be. Cozy and warm and away from the world.

But it is only an illusion.

And not the right path.

But oh how I wish it were.

This was never to be a matter of the heart.

Yet when the heart is already involved, when love already exists, who are we to tell it what it can and can not do. It acts on its own accord and follows whatever whim it chooses. And the whim it always chooses is to grow.

It should have stayed out of it.

Because then my eyes would be closed. My pillow would be dry. And the knowledge that sooner or later my heart will be broken would not be on my mind.

The Real Way to Eat Pussy

It was years ago when I wrote the tutorials about blow jobs and I always intended on doing one on how to eat pussy, but it had been so long, I feared I wouldn’t know what to talk about or how to give appropriate instruction.

Yet after the first night with Lynn, I started doing some research on the best way to go down on a girl. And you want to know what I learned?

Absolutely nothing.

That’s right. From Men’s Health to Maxim, every single article I read was full of shit and useless information, at least if you are anything other than a 15 year old boy.

So I’ve decided to help solve the problem and put together some information about the best strategies for performing cunnilingus.

I’m making my own list and I want you to help too! Make sure to comment and let me know how you make eating pussy a sky-rocketing experience.

The Right Way to Eat Pussy

Expect Differences

First things first. Every woman’s pussy is different. They look different. They smell different. They taste different. They feel different. And different things feel good to different pussies.

If a woman’s vajayjay is different than what you’ve seen before, don’t panic or get weird. It’s okay. It’s still a vagina and still works the same way. Different is good.

Forget What You See in Porn

If you’ve been a regular here at LSAM for any length of time,

you probably know I have a deep love for porn. If not, well guess what? I love porn.

But you want to know what I hate? I hate watching a guy (or girl) going down on another girl. I abso-fucking-lutely hate it. It seems porn has created its  own version of cunnilingus which is focused more on camera angles instead of actual pleasure.

So if you’re eating pussy like you see in the movies with your tongue out and pointed, barely touching the clit, your face three inches away from everything, I hate to tell you, but you’re doing it wrong.

When you’re really going down on a girl, and you’re doing it good, you need to bury your face in her cunt. From nose to chin, get in there and get up in it. Put her clit between your lips, suck her labia into your mouth, put your whole tongue inside her as deep as you can. Whatever you do, just get down in there and your bury your face in it.


Every woman is different, so if you know this specific trick that worked great for your ex-girlfriend, don’t assume it will work for the girl in your bed now. Try it, for sure, but learn some other tricks in case she doesn’t like it.

Here’s a few I swear by:

  • Lick all around her clit. Don’t just focus on the clit, but pay attention to underneath, both sides, and the top. Lick outside her hood, making the skin massage her clit. Clits are sensitive and sometimes the sensation of direct stimulation is too much. Figure out where she likes it, and play there.
  • Vary the pressure. While you’re playing, vary the pressure and shape of your tongue. Go long and skinny and tickle her with it. Switch to short and relaxed and lap at her. The tongue can feel so many different ways and you may be surprised to find out what really gets her going.

  • Penetrate her. Make your tongue as stiff as you can and penetrate her with it. Some women love it when you draw in and out, fucking her. Others like it when you just lick as deep as you can. Either way, there’s nothing quite like having your tongue in a woman’s pussy, so go ahead and give it a try.
  • Lick from top to bottom. Draw your tongue from below the bottom of her pussy all the way up to the top. The whole of a woman’s vulva is sensitive and there may be secret spots that feel extra good. Personally, I love when a tongue plays with the small area at the bottom of my slit. It drives me freaking crazy. The point is, explore her. Spread her lips, touch her everywhere.
  • Suck with care. You’ve got to be careful with this one, especially when it comes to the clit. I’m willing to guess that most women can enjoy a gentle clit sucking, but suck too hard on some and it hurts like hell. Others love it when you draw the whole thing into your mouth and suck like there’s no tomorrow. Play easy and follow her responses. If in doubt, ask.
  • Get your hands involved. Now I can’t speak for every woman, but I can tell you one of the easiest, surest ways to get me off is to lick my clit while you finger my pussy. It never not works. Even if she doesn’t want you to finger her, there’s lots you can be doing with your hands. Massage her ass, lifting her up to your mouth. Reach up and play with her nipples, pulling them in time with your licks. Wrap your arms under and over her thighs and hold her legs wide, making sure she’s spread open for you. Wrap your arms over her hips and waist, holding her in place. It doesn’t really matter what you do with them, just do something.

The point is play around. See what she likes, watch how her body reacts, learn to play her like she’s an instrument.

Ask and Encourage

If you really want to know what she likes, ask her. If she’s hesitant to tell, wait until you’re between her thighs, get her panting, and then ask her. Tell her you love to watch her cum and you want to make sure does.

Take It Slow

Remember, cunnilingus is not an eating contest.

It’s doesn’t need to be devoured like fast food. Instead, treat it like a five-course meal. Take your time and savor the taste of her in your mouth. The way her skin feels against your tongue. Take your time and tease her with your mouth. Make her quiver and quake. Believe me, she’ll love it.

Enjoy It

Sex, regardless of its form, is meant to be enjoyed. Don’t stress out too much about eating her pussy. Instead, sit back and reveal in it. Have fun. Laugh and play. The best sex is sex you can laugh during.

If you focus too much on trying to get her off and she knows it, it’s going to be counter productive. She’s going to be under pressure to cum, which will most definitely make it more difficult for her to do so. Instead of focusing on the “end result,” focus on the act and the giving and the sensations. If you’re relaxed and enjoying it, she’ll be relaxed and enjoy it too.

Your Turn

So, there’s my wordy thoughts on giving head to a girl. What do you think folks? What am I missing? Do you have any tricks of the trade you want to share? What about you ladies? What gets you off best?

Masturbation Monday : Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I’m sure by now y’all know Kayla Lords and her Masturbation Monday meme. Whenever I’ve participate in it in the past, I’ve always written little bits of erotica.

But oh my fucking god, this week I’m rendered speechless. Here’s the inspirational gif she used for this week’s theme.

Masturbation Monday Week 30

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I’m sorry to say it again, but I can’t help it. This is amazing.

First, this is one gorgeous cock. Mouth watering, nipple tightening, pussy clenching gorgeous.

I’m seriously so distracted by his movement, it’s hard to type.

I love his hard grip, the way his fingers squeeze the tip of his cock tighter on the end of his upstroke. I love the looseness of his hand at the bottom of the down stroke.

I love the little squeeze he gives the whole base.

Oh my god. I’m drooling.

I want nothing more than to bend down on this cock and take it in my mouth. Swallow it deep in the back of my throat and gag on it.

I want to swirl my tongue around its swollen head, teasing it with my mouth.

I want hands in my hair, forcing me to take it harder and faster than is comfortable.

I want to sit down on it, slowly taking it into me, my wetness coating the velvety skin, as I slip down to the base.

I’d wait there just a moment, allow myself time to adjust to the girth and length of him. Then I’d start my ride.

Sliding up and down on his cock, it wouldn’t take long before we’d be slick with my juices. My direction changes, moving to grind against him, my back arched so my clit presses against his flesh.

As my pace increases, my hips thrusting back and forth, his strong hands reach up to pinch my nipples, twisting them hard between his fingers. With a low growl, he thrusts up and causes me to explode, spasming on his cock, getting lost in the pleasure and pain he’s creating.

Before my crests subside, he rolls us over, pulls his cock out of my pussy, moves it to my mouth and strokes just like he is here, only harder and faster. My mouth opens and a moment before he begins to cum, he pushes between my lips and hot jets of his cum swarm into my mouth and down my throat as he thrusts, two, three, four times before pulling back and out of my mouth, his cock bobbing in appreciation.

Mmmm… Yes. Masturbation Monday indeed.

MM Badge

Go see what everyone else is rubbing one down to this week.

Trust: The One Thing a Woman Needs to Be Submissive

It’s not kink.

It’s not a man with an Alpha gene.

It’s trust. Pure and simple.

A dear friend of mine is struggling in her marriage. Recently separated, but still together, it’s almost painful to watch what they’re doing to each other.

Just the other day, we were talking and discussing how she needs him to “Dom up.” Now she didn’t necessarily mean that he should grab her by the hair, force her to her knees, and make her gag on his cock (although I don’t think she’d mind that). No. She meant it in a more meaningful way.

She needs him to man up and take care of her and their life. She doesn’t want to completely let go, but she wants to know she’s taken care of. She wants to know that when she can’t be strong, he can.

She understands that sometimes, she needs someone to put her in her place, instead of just going along with what she says to “keep the peace.” She needs a man that can take her by the hand and point out her errors in thinking. Someone who encourages her to make positive changes, and helps her deal with overcoming the negative.

And when she can’t do that, when she struggles, she needs a man who can make it happen, one way or another. A man who will do what needs to be done.

And I was thinking about this later that night. The problem with the man in her life is that even if he stepped up and started doing this things, it wouldn’t matter. She feels he has let her down so many times in the past, in too many ways, that there is no more trust in their relationship. Oh, she trusts that he’s not fucking around. She trusts that he loves her. But she doesn’t trust that he’ll be there for her or that he’ll follow through with what he says. And because these things have happened so often in the past, she struggles to let them go and move forward.

So even if he “Dom’s up,” it won’t fix the situation that they’re in. Because she doesn’t trust him. She doesn’t trust that he won’t drop the ball. She doesn’t trust him to keep his promises. And he doesn’t know what to do to make it better. And they’re stuck in this horrible cycle that just seems to continue and continue.

And right now, this friend is extremely vulnerable. Separated from the man she’s been with for the last 17 years, she wants nothing more than to move forward with him by her side, but how can she when there’s no trust? How can she when she fears letting down her guard, because every time she does, he lets her down?

Trust, people. It’s so important. On so many different levels.

The same day we had this conversation, I was reading this post over at Desiring Discipline (one of M’s favorite blogs btw) and it got me thinking about this more and more and what an important aspect trust is to submission.

There is no way a woman can ever truly be submissive unless she trusts the person towering over her. She must trust Him with her safety. With her body. With her mind. Because these things are literally in the palm of His hand. He can damage her body. He can crush her psyche. He can take her soul.

A woman must trust Him to make decisions that are in her best interest, even when she doesn’t like it. She must know that when He says something, she needs to obey, because He is always thinking about her and the relationship that binds them together. He may require things of her that she doesn’t want to do, but will do because of her submission. She must trust, always, that His actions serve a greater purpose. His purpose.

To be submissive, you must make yourself vulnerable. You’ve got to let go of the need to control. You’ve got to stop worrying about your own needs, and trust that your Sir will take care of them.

Because He will. Because that’s what a Dom does.

It takes a strong man to be a Sir.


Sorry for the random ramble. I’m just thinking out loud. Working out things in my head.

What do you think about trust? How do you move past this type of letdown? How do you let go of the pain and anger and be able to heal? Be able to trust in that one person again?

Birthday Celebrations, First Dates, and Great Sex

I figured this year would be the only year I would get to make her day extra special. I therefore wanted to make 34 one she’d never forget. And with her birthday Saturday and M’s on Wednesday, it seemed like the perfect weekend to celebrate.

Lynn arrived shortly after 4, and by 4:30 the three of us left for dinner. Although we’ve been out to dinner probably hundreds of times together over the years, this was the first time the three of us had gone out as the three of us.

I was a wreck, a ball of nerves, jittery and quiet, compared to my normal, talkative self.

But after we got halfway through our first drink, things started to relax. After dinner, M dropped us off at a local fundraising event, which was hosting a wine tasting. By the end of the two hour event, we had found ourselves a little corner of the area, hidden from the waist down by bookshelves. We were touching as much as we could without getting caught.

As soon as the Chinese auction was over (where we won tickets to the opera and a hotel room), we headed out to meet M, who was waiting to pick us up. Back to our place we went for presents and birthday cake.

Within a few hours, we were in bed, stretched out, the three of us naked and hands everywhere.

Like the times before, the three of us flowed together, moving from moment to moment without question or hesitation. So much touching, kissing, licking, and sucking, that we were at a point, to use Lynn’s words, where you don’t know, nor care, whose hands or mouth or lips are whose, because it all feels so good and it really doesn’t matter.

Sixty-nining, Lynn was beneath me when M moved between her knees, his cock in hand. His fingers started playing with her pussy, while I pulled my lips back to her clit, licking and sucking and nibbing. When he pushed into her, I stopped to watch, their bodies joined, while Lynn continued to play with my pussy, fingers moving in and out, keeping pace with her and M.

M, watching her and I while he pounded her cunt, pulled out, allowing me to drop my mouth to her lips and clit, sucking them into my mouth for a moment before giving him access again. Over and over again we did this, his cock, my mouth; my mouth, his cock. The sounds she made at each switch still echo in my head.

Not too long later, me on my back, M now between my legs, Lynn laid opposite of me, and while my fingers reached between her legs, her lips sealed onto my clit, her tongue flicking across it, making me clench against him. It felt so amazingly good, his cock and her mouth, that I could do nothing but move against them, accepting the pleasure they gave.

At the end of the night, for our last go round, M fucked me doggy style, while I lay between Lynn’s legs, lazily playing with her pussy. We’d been going at it for hours, and this was the first time we’d really slowed down, and it gave me the opportunity to explore her with my fingers and mouth. With M slowly moving in and out of me, his eyes again on the girls in front of him, I licked and touched and watched her and her responses. As his pace increased, so did mine, my fingers turning into her g-spot, while my mouth played havoc on her clit. When he came, M’s hand was wrapped in my hair, pushing my face harder in to Lynn’s pussy, not allowing me to move as I buried myself in her.

When sleep finally came, the three of us lay together in our bed, exhaustion from the night and orgasms obvious on our bodies.

It wasn’t my birthday, but I’m going to wager it was a good one. I know it’s not one I’ll soon forget!

I’m so Excited: The Vibra King Arrived

Okay. See this box, the one right below here.

wpid-0320151331a.jpgWell you’ll never guess what’s inside it.

A vintage Vibra King massager. Not sure what a Vibra King is? Check out this Red Tube video  or watch it below to be enlightened. Go ahead, do it now. I’ll wait.

Did you watch it?

Now you understand why I’m so excited, right?!

They say it puts the Hitachi to shame.

M’s been searching and searching for one of these since before my birthday in November. But the little beasts are hard to come by. They’re not regularly on eBay, and when they are, they go upwards of $150.00, often with a bidding war during the final moment.

But finally he found one he liked, in mint condition, and now it’s here! It wasn’t scheduled to arrive until Tuesday, so you can imagine my surprise when I found this beautiful little box in the mail today.

And I’ve been sitting here staring at it since 11 o’clock this morning.

I know I can’t open it until he gets home, but I want to so bad.

I’ve had my fair share of vibrators, from rabbits to wands, from cheap to top of the line, but nothing ever like this. It may not be the prettiest thing out there, but if what they say is true, it’ll make you scream.

Please hurry home Daddy! My panties are wet!

In Need of Stress Relief

I shouldn’t be posting right now. There are 152 things I need to get done. Writing that’s already missed its deadline. A deadline approaching that is impossible to reach at this point. Dishes to due. Laundry to put away. Legs that need shaved.

But I’m overwhelmed. It’s been one of those days. And I haven’t had one of these days in such a long, long time, apparently I’ve forgotten how to handle them. From loose horses and broken fences to trips to the ER and an aching tooth, all I can think to do is scream.

Truly, I don’t want to do anything. I want to take a scalding hot shower. Put on my most comfortable PJs, curl up in bed, and fall asleep until tomorrow, when things can start anew.

But alas, a 4 year old who had his head split open not once, but twice, and a sick 7 year old prevent that from even being a possibility.

So I sit down to work. And my hands stay still at the keyboard. I can feel my pulse beating in my chest. And the tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

And the stupid 2 week old chicks are making all this racket from the room next to me and there’s a timer ticking somewhere that is too ridiculously loud. And I just want to scream. Or cry. Or cum.

And I start to think about M. And how I was so needy last night, seeking reassurance from him after Saturday night. And how even though he was exhausted from work, he still took me to bed.

I think of how good it felt with his head between my legs. What his mouth and fingers and lips do to my body. I think about cumming, over and over again, yet he wouldn’t stop, he kept going, taking me higher and higher.

My shoulders drop and I feel a small amount of tension leave my neck.

I remember what it felt like when he pushed into me, my hips supported by pillows, my ankles over his shoulders. I can almost feel how his cock instantly pressed into g-spot and how the warmth of his mouth felt surrounding my nipple. I remember what it felt like cumming together, his cock buried so deep in my pussy that it made me ache.

While this makes me feel a little better, it’s still not quite enough.

But wait.

I think I just heard M’s van pull in the drive. Now it’s time for some real stress relief.

Wish me luck people.



My Lucky Life

I received the first text early yesterday afternoon: “So I just wanted to say if things go down badly, you guys should come get drunk with me here.”

Just those simple words spiked my libido, especially after last weekend’s Brazilian waxing episode. But I doubted anything would come to fruition, after all, the hockey game wouldn’t be over until after 10, and I figured chances are by the time we got back to town, you’d be asleep.

So when the text came through at nine, saying you were headed out to the bar, the stupid hockey game couldn’t end quickly enough.

Nearly two hours later, we made it back. Drinks were had, shots were poured, and within only a few minutes, there was little doubt left that we would end up in bed together yet again. It was then that my panties started to get wet.

As we stood at the bar, legs touching where no one could see, I wanted nothing more than to taste your lips.

More drinks and hands became freer, less concerned about the others standing around and more concerned about the feeling of your skin on mine.

I wish I could have seen the boy’s face when you told him to quit trying because you were coming home to fuck us.

And then there was the random boy who could get Molly, and that topped the night off.

As soon as the rolling began, I wanted nothing more than to feel you both, flesh on flesh, heat on heat, pleasure spawning more pleasure.

You were wetter than I’ve ever seen you, your pussy so eager for attention. I couldn’t get enough.

And you’ve been so frustrated this week with life issues. It was nice to see you let go and enjoy the simple pleasures of fingers, tongues, pussies, and cock.

It made me laugh, because the first time, I remember you commenting to M about how receptive I am. Well, girl, if only you could have seen how beautiful you looked, laying back on the bed with your eyes closed and your back arched, as waves of pleasure washed across your body. Watching you cum again and again, it was absolutely fucking gorgeous.

And you were such as a dirty girl, loving the flogger, the nipple clamps, the Hitachi, touching places you’ve never touched before.

Although I’ve never said it, I’m sure you know there have been many, many times over these last few months when you were in our bed, even when you weren’t. On both our minds as we touched and played, I’d think of things to come in the future.

And one of things I always thought about is you riding Him while I straddle his face. And when that happened last night, it was beyond my expectations. Watching you lower yourself onto His hard cock, the look on your face as you were filled with His length, watching you rock and grind against Him, it was exquisite.

And, oh how I loved laying beneath you as He fucked you from behind, your swollen clit between my lips, my eyes only inches from where the two of you joined, His cock sliding into your tight little pussy.

The moment, shortly after 4 am, I don’t know how we got there, with you on your back and M between your legs, your knees bent far and wide to give him full access. I knew He didn’t want to cum yet, but how could I not encourage it, with you begging Him for more, begging Him to fuck you harder and harder.

And when the two of you came together, my love for you both grew beyond what I thought was possible.

After the final kiss between the three of us, when we curled up and wrapped around each other in bed, it felt like the most normal thing in the whole world, three bodies joined in exhaustion from the pursuit of each other’s pleasure.

Last night was perfect, in so many ways. Unlike the first time, which was so fuzzy with alcohol and Ritalin. Unlike the second time, which was apprehensive and sort of scary, because we were doing it with intention.

Last night was different. It was effortless. It was natural. It feels so fucking right, the three of us together this way.

And here I am, again today, delaying showering, because I don’t want to wash the scent of you from my body.

Next weekend, my dear, be prepared. My plan is to give you a birthday you will never forget.

Not us, but could have been... "Threesome (one man and two women)" by golden retriever fan - Flickr: file.bin-2. Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Threesome_(one_man_and_two_women).jpg#mediaviewer/File:Threesome_(one_man_and_two_women).jpg

Not us, but still one of my favorite moments from last night…
via Wikimedia

Erotica: Forbidden – Part II

I’d say I’m sorry for all the girl-girl sex here on the blog lately, but really, I’m not. It seems it’s what’s always on my mind these days.

This is one of my latest WIP, so please excuse the rough edges.

I’m thinking this story is turning into the prelude of Watching, and perhaps the story may become something more.

You can find the first half of this story here.


When her lips left mine, Eve took my hand and led me to the bed. Before I had time to second guess what we were doing, her lips found my cheek and then my ear.

My hands were on her, moving fabric over flesh as I caressed her curves and touched her wherever I could.

I moved to take her mouth with mine and my fingers dug into her hips, pulling her against me.

Eve stepped back, and with her hands on my shoulders, pushed me to the bed as she sank to her knees in from of me, hands following eyes down my body, over my ribs, waist, hips and thighs until they turned at my knees and trailed up my inner thighs.

When her warm breath fell onto my skin, then flowed over my lips and clit, my eyes closed and my head fell back to the bed.

When her lips closed on to my clit, my breath caught in my throat and she placed a chaste kiss on the most intimate part of me. I reached towards her, my fingers fanning into her hair as her lips subsided, replaced by her tongue, flicking and licking across me.

My body started its peak and my hands tightened in her hair as she pulled my bud into her mouth and began sucking, slowly and rhythmically.

Within moments, I’m panting, my hips  thrusting into her mouth, increasing in speed with her sucking until I’m holding her against me, pulling her tighter against my pussy. As my orgasm peaked, I arched off the bed and Eve slipped two fingers between my now spasming lips and rubbed them hard against my g-spot.

For a brief moment, it’s too much, too intense and my hand leaves her head to interrupt her but she gripped it with her free hand and held it in place, never stopping her sucking or her fingers.

I need her to stop, it’s too much. My breathing’s out of control and my mind is spinning, pleasure so intense it hurts. I try to sit up and pull back, but Eve, still gripping onto my wrist, dropped our conjoined hands to my stomach, pinning me in place.

Out of control, my body withered and tears started forming in my eyes. Suddenly, her fingers became more forceful, her sucking harder. The moment her teeth scrapped across the exposed tip of my clit, my body let go and I exploded into her mouth and onto her hands.

The waves flow through my body and crest, then crest again, and I  feel the fluid splashing against her hands and face. But she doesn’t stop, doesn’t release me from the pleasurable torture of her lips.

I find myself lying listless on her bed, my breathing finally slowing and I can feel Eve’s mouth on my thighs, gentle kisses and warm breathes as her fingers move slowly in and out of my pussy and I realized she’s whispering “Shh…” against my skin.

It wasn’t until then that I realized I was crying, silent tears streaming down my cheeks, but my body was too tired, too satiated to wipe them away.

As Eve’s fingers continue to move, she kissed her way from my thighs up and over my mound, her teeth grazing across my hip bones, my nipples. When her lips touched the sensitive spot between my breasts, my hand moved to pull her mouth to mine.

As our lips touched, Eve finished her climb up my body, her fingers still moving, now with more force as her lips and tongue meshed with my own.

My hands ran down her back and I grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. My shirt, pooled at my neck, was next. Eve fell onto me, our flesh hot against one another, her fingers deep in my pussy, curved so that my body was moving with her, wanting more.

She dropped to her elbow, her hand wrapped in my hair, and started fucking me, her whole body between my legs, her hips forcing her fingers deeper, her palm pressed hard against my clit.

Her mouth was all over, on my lips, my neck, my shoulders. She overwhelmed me, and I was lost in her, in the things she was doing to me, the pleasure that was rolling over me.

Her lips were on my ear, voice soft and sweet. “You are so fucking beautiful,” she whispered.

Those words pushed me off the ledge I’d been balancing on and waves of upon waves of glorious pleasure washed over my mind and body. She didn’t relent and pushed me further, and further still, until I was nothing but a quaking mess beneath her.

Eventually, her pace slowed, and I floated caught in the moment of exquisiteness, my body a bundle of electric nerves, twitching as she placed kisses along my cheeks, moving towards my mouth.

When her lips met mine, joy and love washed through me, and my tongue moved to met hers in an intimate embrace.

Eve moved off my body, curling hers around me, and we lay there, naked in one another’s arms, basking in what was created between us. Our hands moved lazily across skin, touching and exploring, in no rush for our love making to end.

But as Eve moved to pull me closer, we both froze at the sound of the door opening.

“Eve, I wanted to let you know…” Sir’s voice trailed off when he saw on the bed. He was still a moment, and I watched as the look of shock on his face hardened into anger.

“Caitlyn, to your room,” he demanded, and I could hear the struggle to keep his voice restrained. “Eve, get the belt.”

To be continued…